Losing respect for dh over passivity about the election

[Anonymous]

The beauty of the USA is that we can each vote for whomever we like. We can canvas, we can not canvas. We can go to rallies. We can stay home. Freedom of choice.

Do you drama queens truly not understand this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll

I truly am not a troll.
I cannot be the only person dealing with meh spouse. I do think he cares but he’s just so passive. I feel like I want him to be doing things

Lady, a lot of us are dealing with Trumper spouses. GMAFB.

[Anonymous]

I would feel the same way OP. I’m sorry.

[Anonymous]

I want Trump to win.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll

I truly am not a troll.
I cannot be the only person dealing with meh spouse. I do think he cares but he’s just so passive. I feel like I want him to be doing things

[Anonymous]

I can relate! My DH is voting for Harris but thinks both sides are awful and he is just choosing the lesser of the two evils. He is very condescending about it. I love him but it’s infuriating. And for everyone saying all we can do is vote, that’s not true! Yes vote, but there are a lot of things you can do: donate, door knock, talk to undecided friends/family, sign up to text, volunteer on Election Day…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can relate! My DH is voting for Harris but thinks both sides are awful and he is just choosing the lesser of the two evils. He is very condescending about it. I love him but it’s infuriating. And for everyone saying all we can do is vote, that’s not true! Yes vote, but there are a lot of things you can do: donate, door knock, talk to undecided friends/family, sign up to text, volunteer on Election Day…

Knock yourself out doing all that but it truly doesn’t matter. VA and MD will both go for Harris so it’s kind of pointless. Now if you were in a swing state it *might* make the tiniest bit of difference. But go on and blow up your marriage over this. Solid choice.

[Anonymous]

I’m a DH. Let me give an analogy to my own situation and why I disagree with the OP.

A few years ago, I started attending church again after some major personal life issues that threatened our marriage. My wife is more or less an atheist, which is how I would have described myself before too. I am very active in my church and love the community there.

Yes, in my heart, I would love it if my wife would go to church with me on Sunday. It’s an important part of my life and it would be fantastic to share it with her.

But while she’s kind and supportive, it’s not her cup of tea and I am not going to force it on her. If I begged and pleaded with her to go, she MIGHT do it but she would hate it and resent me. I do know people at my church who drag their spouses there and it only seems to cause significant acrimony. What’s the point?

You have to respect and love your spouse as an individual person, with different likes and interests, they aren’t a puppet for just whatever you want to do. You love them because you love them.

Also, take a step back and realize just how much you are in the minority in terms of your political involvement. 1/3 of the country doesn’t even vote at all! The number of people who are canvassing or phone banking is so tiny.

BTW, I am voting for Harris.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m extremely concerned about the election. I think trump is a petulant vengeful baby who brings out the worst and appeals to the worst in humanity and cannot believe he is on the ticket (have voted both ways in the past but trump to me is next level insane). Trying to get dh to do canvassing/ phone banking but he doesn’t want to and is not concerned bc ‘it’s fine’ and ‘Kamala will win’. Clearly the polls do not clearly show this and to me his disinterest is personal - so many more women and babies have died since roe reversed. I just feel like he is a weenie not to be as fired up as I am or at least in the ballpark of it. Anyone else?

He is more than a weeny. he is a selfish douche. Stop spending your energy trying to convince or force him. Go about your life and do the things you think are important.

Sadly, I think we have to realize (but not accept) that generally men don’t give a crap about women. There’s a reason why Michelle Obama was begging men to care about women’s lives in her speech - most of them generally don’t.

For you, it’s your husband who is showing he doesn’t care, which is very painful. For me, it’s my brothers. My brother continues to say explicitly that he will vote for Trump, “because he’s better for the economy” and that’s what’s good for him. Despite the fact that I have said to him that Trump, objectively, has already and will continue to make the life of his lesbian niece, whom he professes to love, much harder. So hard in fact, that she may choose to move out of the country. My brothers also have made it clear that, despite the fact that they know almost nothing about pregnancy conditions, women can’t be trusted to make decisions in the 3rd month of pregnancy. It makes me very sad that they do not value my life or the life of my kids and their future. We are not estranged, but this definitely has made me less interested in supporting them. Support can no longer be one way from women to men.

For all of us, we have to stop investing in men, supporting men, and trying to teach or get them to be good men. Be a good guy or get the heck out of my way. I’m done wasting my energy on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m extremely concerned about the election. I think trump is a petulant vengeful baby who brings out the worst and appeals to the worst in humanity and cannot believe he is on the ticket (have voted both ways in the past but trump to me is next level insane). Trying to get dh to do canvassing/ phone banking but he doesn’t want to and is not concerned bc ‘it’s fine’ and ‘Kamala will win’. Clearly the polls do not clearly show this and to me his disinterest is personal - so many more women and babies have died since roe reversed. I just feel like he is a weenie not to be as fired up as I am or at least in the ballpark of it. Anyone else?

He is more than a weeny. he is a selfish douche. Stop spending your energy trying to convince or force him. Go about your life and do the things you think are important.

Sadly, I think we have to realize (but not accept) that generally men don’t give a crap about women. There’s a reason why Michelle Obama was begging men to care about women’s lives in her speech - most of them generally don’t.

For you, it’s your husband who is showing he doesn’t care, which is very painful. For me, it’s my brothers. My brother continues to say explicitly that he will vote for Trump, “because he’s better for the economy” and that’s what’s good for him. Despite the fact that I have said to him that Trump, objectively, has already and will continue to make the life of his lesbian niece, whom he professes to love, much harder. So hard in fact, that she may choose to move out of the country. My brothers also have made it clear that, despite the fact that they know almost nothing about pregnancy conditions, women can’t be trusted to make decisions in the 3rd month of pregnancy. It makes me very sad that they do not value my life or the life of my kids and their future. We are not estranged, but this definitely has made me less interested in supporting them. Support can no longer be one way from women to men.

For all of us, we have to stop investing in men, supporting men, and trying to teach or get them to be good men. Be a good guy or get the heck out of my way. I’m done wasting my energy on them.

100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You actually expect your DH to canvas? Wow. Not your call. If you pi$$ him off enough, he will vote for the other party.

That would be very childish. Np

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is voting for Trump but doesn’t want you to know. Make him record filling in his ballot on his phone.

This is crazy.

Honestly this is probably the only way to know for sure. If he refuses I’d serve papers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is voting for Trump but doesn’t want you to know. Make him record filling in his ballot on his phone.

This is crazy.

Honestly this is probably the only way to know for sure. If he refuses I’d serve papers.

In many states it is illegal to record the ballot. In MD you are not supposed to have your phone on in the polling station.

I'm a long time election observer overseas and no phones on in polling stations (among other things) is a basic tenant of a free and fair polling station.

Why? 3rd parties often require pictures of completed ballots to doll out some kind of reward (which is vote buying) or avoidance of punishment (which is voter intimidation).

In addition, when photos of ballots make it online, they are often altered to support conspiracy theories.

No ballot photos please!

[Anonymous]

My husband is passive and reactive about everything, and voting. Never: takes a stand, voices a concern, has an opinion, advocates for his own children. Never.

Yes I have lost respect for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll

I truly am not a troll.
I cannot be the only person dealing with meh spouse. I do think he cares but he’s just so passive. I feel like I want him to be doing things

Stop trying to control other people, OP.
Think if it this way—Politics has become your religion.
And people really dislike when they are cajoled into adopting your religion or speaking about religion to others when they feel it is a personal matter.

You are a political evangelist who is convinced that the world is on fire and we’re all going to hell if your candidate doesn’t win—and I get it.
But do you really want to blow up your marriage over this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m extremely concerned about the election. I think trump is a petulant vengeful baby who brings out the worst and appeals to the worst in humanity and cannot believe he is on the ticket (have voted both ways in the past but trump to me is next level insane). Trying to get dh to do canvassing/ phone banking but he doesn’t want to and is not concerned bc ‘it’s fine’ and ‘Kamala will win’. Clearly the polls do not clearly show this and to me his disinterest is personal - so many more women and babies have died since roe reversed. I just feel like he is a weenie not to be as fired up as I am or at least in the ballpark of it. Anyone else?

He is more than a weeny. he is a selfish douche. Stop spending your energy trying to convince or force him. Go about your life and do the things you think are important.

Sadly, I think we have to realize (but not accept) that generally men don’t give a crap about women. There’s a reason why Michelle Obama was begging men to care about women’s lives in her speech - most of them generally don’t.

For you, it’s your husband who is showing he doesn’t care, which is very painful. For me, it’s my brothers. My brother continues to say explicitly that he will vote for Trump, “because he’s better for the economy” and that’s what’s good for him. Despite the fact that I have said to him that Trump, objectively, has already and will continue to make the life of his lesbian niece, whom he professes to love, much harder. So hard in fact, that she may choose to move out of the country. My brothers also have made it clear that, despite the fact that they know almost nothing about pregnancy conditions, women can’t be trusted to make decisions in the 3rd month of pregnancy. It makes me very sad that they do not value my life or the life of my kids and their future. We are not estranged, but this definitely has made me less interested in supporting them. Support can no longer be one way from women to men.

For all of us, we have to stop investing in men, supporting men, and trying to teach or get them to be good men. Be a good guy or get the heck out of my way. I’m done wasting my energy on them.

Meh. Don’t be made at your brothers. Be mad at me instead. I’m a woman who is voting for Trump. (And also you may want to be careful with your non-inclusive language that suggests abortion or pregnancy conditions are “women’s issues”—yours is the party of science that believes “some men can get pregnant” and “some men have abortions”)