Favoritism

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An adult texting a child are red flags. Report to the authorities. That should solve your problem.

Yes, report it.

Report to what authorities? It’s not a crime so no point in telling cops. Do you mean organizational authorities?

Process starts with the head coach for your age group, then the director, then club executive. Per safesport, they must investigate and document the incident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An adult texting a child are red flags. Report to the authorities. That should solve your problem.

Yes, report it.

Report to what authorities? It’s not a crime so no point in telling cops. Do you mean organizational authorities?

Process starts with the head coach for your age group, then the director, then club executive. Per safesport, they must investigate and document the incident.

if this gets you no where, i suggest file a police report to go on record.

[Anonymous]

There seems to be a lot of keyboard avengers on this thread.

1. The coach is not communicating with my kid via text 1on1

2. Although I know that he's communicating with 2 players via text I don't know if parernts are or aren't included on the communications.

I feel that the communication is inappropriate and that it's creating favoritism for certain players. But without knowing with 100% certainty that it's 1on1 coach to player communication this is not something that can be escalated to SafeSport.

If we're able to leave the team and play somewhere else I have considered creating a SafeSport case just to make the guy think twice about texting with children even if parents are included.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There seems to be a lot of keyboard avengers on this thread.
...
If we're able to leave the team and play somewhere else I have considered creating a SafeSport case just to make the guy think twice about texting with children even if parents are included.

No irony in this post...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our coach chose a team captain.

The captain never scores and walks when forced to play defense.

The captain texts with the our coach.

Our coach won't respond to other players or other parents texts.

Everyone is pissed and looking for ways to get out.

Does captain have to score?

Be the team manager, that's how you win playing time for your child. If your coach has private lessons, sign your child up. This is very true with SYC.

this is the way…..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our coach chose a team captain.

The captain never scores and walks when forced to play defense.

The captain texts with the our coach.

Our coach won't respond to other players or other parents texts.

Everyone is pissed and looking for ways to get out.

Does captain have to score?

Be the team manager, that's how you win playing time for your child. If your coach has private lessons, sign your child up. This is very true with SYC.

this is the way…..

No it will just create more drama and favoritism.

[Anonymous]

It’s called life, deal with it. Every team has players playing who should be on the bench.

And a word for the person wanting to tryout for Alexandria . . . Don’t

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is the favorite for the first time in 8 years of club. Shows up for everything. Team player. Doesn't talk back, Works very hard. Is very consistent. Is a nice teammate--not a jerk. I have never met the coach, nor has my husband. My kid does not privately call or text with the coach--other than if he were to important something like --illness, going to be late due to a school event, etc.

He 'fits' the style of play. After being a literal scapegoat on one team with a Coach that only said negative and blamed him for everything---even when he wasn't on the field---not fkg joking--it's really nice to see him grow in this role.

I've never seen a situation where favoritism to the best players that also happen to be the best people causes issues.

What I have seen is situations where favoritism becomes more and more obvious to the point where it's hard not to see or justify. When this happens people start wondering what is going on. It might be that the coach is just lazy and doesn't want to learn all the players names. It might be a mom giving the coach lube jobs in the back seat of her car. You never know.

What the pp describes is earned. It's more like a 'captain' or leader...which usually happens with the best player if they are kind too. I agree that if the kid is noticeably the best out there nobody gets upset. It's when a 'bench type' player is punching above his weight due to sheer favoritism and shenanigans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our coach chose a team captain.

The captain never scores and walks when forced to play defense.

The captain texts with the our coach.

Our coach won't respond to other players or other parents texts.

Everyone is pissed and looking for ways to get out.

Report the coach to your club and sanctioning body. Coaches texting athletes 1:1 is a red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How to deal with coach favoritism?

We don’t want to leave the team because this is a top team in a big club.

If your kid is playing top team, they can probably make the top team at another club. Tryout for different clubs. If you don't get a top team offer, you just have to deal with it. Coachedms will always have their favorite player on a team.

Being top team on one club doesn't equate to being on top team for another club. Look at Alexandria. They pick up all of SYC's second team players and play them on their top team. The result, you have a top team with second team results.

The problem with Alexandria is not the players. The issues are the coaches and the broken system behind closed doors. Though agreed, SYC has stronger teams across all ages.

world class coaches with middling players play middling football.

This is true at all levels. In the pros, the highest correlating point of data to positive outcomes is team / athlete payroll. You could put Pep in charge of a middling team and they won’t play beautiful patient football, they’ll play kick-and-run all day long. On match day coaches deal with what they have, not what they could have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yeah let's just blow up the coach's life without any facts (if the parents and/or multiple coaches are on the text then it's not a violation) and because he's showing favoritism to a handful of players and your kid isn't playing as much as you think they should be...justify away

It needs to be reported to the club. SafeSport is a total joke and will do nothing.

Many of the clubs will not care.

This is not true. And you CAN report anonymously in most states, via most sanctioning bodies and via safesport

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There seems to be a lot of keyboard avengers on this thread.

1. The coach is not communicating with my kid via text 1on1

2. Although I know that he's communicating with 2 players via text I don't know if parernts are or aren't included on the communications.

I feel that the communication is inappropriate and that it's creating favoritism for certain players. But without knowing with 100% certainty that it's 1on1 coach to player communication this is not something that can be escalated to SafeSport.

If we're able to leave the team and play somewhere else I have considered creating a SafeSport case just to make the guy think twice about texting with children even if parents are included.

You don’t need to know. Safe sport will investigate and if it’s kosher so be it, but if anything wrong is happening, they’ll deal help deal with it. If there is smoke, you pull a smoke alarm, you don’t just say “well, I’d pull the alarm if I knew for sure there was a fire…but I don’t know for sure, so I’ll just mind my own business.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The context of any apparent favoritism is key. Many, many times the "favoritism" is just delusional parents who don't see that their kid is average to below average. They don't see that the kid playing over their kid works harder, is more coachable, and has a better attitude (but they don't score so they suck hahaha).

If there are inappropriate relationships and dynamics with the coach, then report it. If you just think your kid should play more than the other, then you better be damn sure that your kid brings more to the team before you open your mouth. If not, you will be on the club list as one of those parents.

+1
Parents who talked to the coach a lot, delusional parents whose kids scored the goal because of being a ball hog, Kids who were uncoachable because of every mistake they made their parents on the sideline will say a good job! So that kid will never learn or try to improve anything.

Agree on all except the ball hog. Depends on the age, and depends on the team.

A good player on a crap team always looks like a ball hog. And at certain age groups, that team can look really good because of that 1 ball hog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The context of any apparent favoritism is key. Many, many times the "favoritism" is just delusional parents who don't see that their kid is average to below average. They don't see that the kid playing over their kid works harder, is more coachable, and has a better attitude (but they don't score so they suck hahaha).

If there are inappropriate relationships and dynamics with the coach, then report it. If you just think your kid should play more than the other, then you better be damn sure that your kid brings more to the team before you open your mouth. If not, you will be on the club list as one of those parents.

+1
Parents who talked to the coach a lot, delusional parents whose kids scored the goal because of being a ball hog, Kids who were uncoachable because of every mistake they made their parents on the sideline will say a good job! So that kid will never learn or try to improve anything.

Agree on all except the ball hog. Depends on the age, and depends on the team.

A good player on a crap team always looks like a ball hog. And at certain age groups, that team can look really good because of that 1 ball hog.

Said the ball hog’s parents!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There seems to be a lot of keyboard avengers on this thread.

1. The coach is not communicating with my kid via text 1on1

2. Although I know that he's communicating with 2 players via text I don't know if parernts are or aren't included on the communications.

I feel that the communication is inappropriate and that it's creating favoritism for certain players. But without knowing with 100% certainty that it's 1on1 coach to player communication this is not something that can be escalated to SafeSport.

If we're able to leave the team and play somewhere else I have considered creating a SafeSport case just to make the guy think twice about texting with children even if parents are included.

You don’t need to know. Safe sport will investigate and if it’s kosher so be it, but if anything wrong is happening, they’ll deal help deal with it. If there is smoke, you pull a smoke alarm, you don’t just say “well, I’d pull the alarm if I knew for sure there was a fire…but I don’t know for sure, so I’ll just mind my own business.”

Your thought process is reasonable but coaches and clubs are vindictive. I need to see the fire before pulling the smoke alarm.

If we leave the team/club I might file an anonymous report. Just being investigated would likely scare the coach and leadership straight and stop all text communications across the board.