Favoritism

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lost in this thread is that OP wants to report a coach with no knowledge of whether or not the coach is violating the rules and no suspicion that there’s any wrongdoing simply because she thinks Larlo isn’t getting as much playing time as she would like.

What a lunatic.

More likely than not, Larlo really isn’t that good and the coach is being reasonable and the parents are not being realistic about their kid’s ability - and treating him like he’s a 5 year old when everyone gets the exact same goody bag and not a young adult that’s going to need to learn how to overcome adversity anyway.

I feel for coaches in this era. Sheesh.

OP seems to have a typical case of obsessive helicopter parent delusions. Weird flex and putdown response a few pages ago about their DC being on some top 50 team and not "the club down the street." Wake up call your kid just isn't good enough for TOP 10 and barely scraping by on TOP 50. With poor social skills and weird thinking like that, OP might need to get used to not getting their way.





My kid plays on a top 50 in the nation team and has been trying out for top 10 in the nation teams. It's a little different than trying for the club down the street.

To be fair, lots of clubs have “legacy” players who have roster spots because they were there last year. Yes, the kids can get supplanted by kids from outside, but seldom in club. Top 10s are no exception, even on a specific CA club’s “super” teams

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with this completely. Hasn’t done me any favors either. Actually coach is harder on my kid.

I must be doing something wrong as a team manager. Been manager for my son's team several times at different age group. Never got him any extra favors, seems like the opposite in that doesn't get picked for captain, selected for events or anything. Coaches would go out of the way to make sure it doesn't look like my son receives any favors.

Over correction as an attempt to show no bias is due to lack of coaching skill. Sounds like it’s not a newer coach, but also not an “old hand”. Coaches stuck in the middle of their career tend to struggle with this the most.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The context of any apparent favoritism is key. Many, many times the "favoritism" is just delusional parents who don't see that their kid is average to below average. They don't see that the kid playing over their kid works harder, is more coachable, and has a better attitude (but they don't score so they suck hahaha).

If there are inappropriate relationships and dynamics with the coach, then report it. If you just think your kid should play more than the other, then you better be damn sure that your kid brings more to the team before you open your mouth. If not, you will be on the club list as one of those parents.

+1
Parents who talked to the coach a lot, delusional parents whose kids scored the goal because of being a ball hog, Kids who were uncoachable because of every mistake they made their parents on the sideline will say a good job! So that kid will never learn or try to improve anything.

Agree on all except the ball hog. Depends on the age, and depends on the team.

A good player on a crap team always looks like a ball hog. And at certain age groups, that team can look really good because of that 1 ball hog.

Said the ball hog’s parents!

Said the equipment manager’s parents

said the social media manager parent

Can the coaches/directors please stop posting? Disturbing....

Terrible, you know where they are coming from...

[Anonymous]

So I've been able to confirm that our coach is texting directly with players. He's not texting with my kid and I don't think anything inappropriate is happening. But this makes me very uncomfortable. We're already jumping in on sessions at other clubs looking for an out.

The way I was able to confirm is one of the players (who is very good and a Talent ID invite) has been riding the bench. I have a feeling that it's happening because she's on scholorship not because of ability. Apparently she texted the coach earlier this week asking how she can improve and what he suggested she improve. The coach texted back that she's not going to be on his roster this weekend but she can play with the 09s. Something happened with her mom and the mom took her phone away. Our coach got pissed because she wasn't responding about the 09s. But this was happening because her mom took her phone away.

Today she showed up at an away game 1.5 hour drive when she wasn't on the roster. This happened because her mom took her phone away and she didn't know what to do because our coach is texting players directly about if they are/aren't on the roster that week.

Not really sure what to do. Our coach is also a teacher and should know that texting directly with players is wrong. It's not happening with my kid and we're trying to find s way out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s called life, deal with it. Every team has players playing who should be on the bench.

And a word for the person wanting to tryout for Alexandria . . . Don’t

Yes, please don't. You will regret it for sure. There are much better options around.

The entire club isn’t a dumpster fire, sheesh! There are several age groups for boys and girls that are not toxic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I've been able to confirm that our coach is texting directly with players. He's not texting with my kid and I don't think anything inappropriate is happening. But this makes me very uncomfortable. We're already jumping in on sessions at other clubs looking for an out.

The way I was able to confirm is one of the players (who is very good and a Talent ID invite) has been riding the bench. I have a feeling that it's happening because she's on scholorship not because of ability. Apparently she texted the coach earlier this week asking how she can improve and what he suggested she improve. The coach texted back that she's not going to be on his roster this weekend but she can play with the 09s. Something happened with her mom and the mom took her phone away. Our coach got pissed because she wasn't responding about the 09s. But this was happening because her mom took her phone away.

Today she showed up at an away game 1.5 hour drive when she wasn't on the roster. This happened because her mom took her phone away and she didn't know what to do because our coach is texting players directly about if they are/aren't on the roster that week.

Not really sure what to do. Our coach is also a teacher and should know that texting directly with players is wrong. It's not happening with my kid and we're trying to find s way out.

A little more info just became available which clouds if our coach is texting with players directly.

Apparently the mom that took her daughters phone away is also getting divorced from the dad. The dad is the one that drove his daughter 1.5 hours to the game only find out that she's not on the roster. What this means is there's a good chance the mom knows about the texts with coach and didn't tell dad just to be vindictive and awful.

Don't want to get involved with coach or divorce drama. Again none of this is happening with my kid and we're looking for an out.

I'm still at 90% that the coach is texting players directly. But I don't know which parents are aware.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I've been able to confirm that our coach is texting directly with players. He's not texting with my kid and I don't think anything inappropriate is happening. But this makes me very uncomfortable. We're already jumping in on sessions at other clubs looking for an out.

The way I was able to confirm is one of the players (who is very good and a Talent ID invite) has been riding the bench. I have a feeling that it's happening because she's on scholorship not because of ability. Apparently she texted the coach earlier this week asking how she can improve and what he suggested she improve. The coach texted back that she's not going to be on his roster this weekend but she can play with the 09s. Something happened with her mom and the mom took her phone away. Our coach got pissed because she wasn't responding about the 09s. But this was happening because her mom took her phone away.

Today she showed up at an away game 1.5 hour drive when she wasn't on the roster. This happened because her mom took her phone away and she didn't know what to do because our coach is texting players directly about if they are/aren't on the roster that week.

Not really sure what to do. Our coach is also a teacher and should know that texting directly with players is wrong. It's not happening with my kid and we're trying to find s way out.

A little more info just became available which clouds if our coach is texting with players directly.

Apparently the mom that took her daughters phone away is also getting divorced from the dad. The dad is the one that drove his daughter 1.5 hours to the game only find out that she's not on the roster. What this means is there's a good chance the mom knows about the texts with coach and didn't tell dad just to be vindictive and awful.

Don't want to get involved with coach or divorce drama. Again none of this is happening with my kid and we're looking for an out.

I'm still at 90% that the coach is texting players directly. But I don't know which parents are aware.

The Real housewives of NV - soccer parent drama episode 😆

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I've been able to confirm that our coach is texting directly with players. He's not texting with my kid and I don't think anything inappropriate is happening. But this makes me very uncomfortable. We're already jumping in on sessions at other clubs looking for an out.

The way I was able to confirm is one of the players (who is very good and a Talent ID invite) has been riding the bench. I have a feeling that it's happening because she's on scholorship not because of ability. Apparently she texted the coach earlier this week asking how she can improve and what he suggested she improve. The coach texted back that she's not going to be on his roster this weekend but she can play with the 09s. Something happened with her mom and the mom took her phone away. Our coach got pissed because she wasn't responding about the 09s. But this was happening because her mom took her phone away.

Today she showed up at an away game 1.5 hour drive when she wasn't on the roster. This happened because her mom took her phone away and she didn't know what to do because our coach is texting players directly about if they are/aren't on the roster that week.

Not really sure what to do. Our coach is also a teacher and should know that texting directly with players is wrong. It's not happening with my kid and we're trying to find s way out.

A little more info just became available which clouds if our coach is texting with players directly.

Apparently the mom that took her daughters phone away is also getting divorced from the dad. The dad is the one that drove his daughter 1.5 hours to the game only find out that she's not on the roster. What this means is there's a good chance the mom knows about the texts with coach and didn't tell dad just to be vindictive and awful.

Don't want to get involved with coach or divorce drama. Again none of this is happening with my kid and we're looking for an out.

I'm still at 90% that the coach is texting players directly. But I don't know which parents are aware.

The Real housewives of NV - soccer parent drama episode 😆

agree, it's a difficult position to be in.

The mom's on our team have been catty and generally awful to be around for years. Honestly I don't understand how they can still be around each other. The soon to be divorced mom used to be a mega b-itch but has withdrawed from the nonsense recently.

I know the right thing to do is report the coach and let safesport figure out if anything inappropriate is going on. However I also know there will be repercussions and my kid will likely be targeted by morons.

[Anonymous]

Was able to confirm that the coach is texting players 1on1 without their parents on the text threads.

I've spoken with my kid and explained to her that what's going on is not acceptable. I also showed her the safesport link below.

https://uscenterforsafesport.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/MAAPP_OnePagers_Communication.pdf

Don't coaches need to go through a safesport background check and don't they also go through a yearly 1 hour class on safesport rules?

[Anonymous]

Seriously is this the best platform for this, you seem legitimately concerned, do something substantive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously is this the best platform for this, you seem legitimately concerned, do something substantive

I am concerned. But, I've also confirmed that my kid is not texting with the coach or communicating with him in any way outside of practices and games.

I belive 1on1 texts coach to player are occurring with 4-5 players on the team. I've only been able to confirm that it happening with one player. Just happend 30 minutes ago.

I'm asking here because I'd like feedback if others have had to go through filing a report to safesport. Just to be clear I don't think anything is going on between the coach an players. I do think the coach is just arrogant. But I'm concerned that what's going on is the first steps in a grooming process.

[Anonymous]

Here's the training coaches go through on a yearly basis. Seems very clear that coaches texting players 1on1 is not allowed.

https://youtu.be/tpprPP5ERuI?si=peICWkvO_gGjVcH7

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:Was able to confirm that the coach is texting players 1on1 without their parents on the text threads.

I've spoken with my kid and explained to her that what's going on is not acceptable. I also showed her the safesport link below.

https://uscenterforsafesport.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/MAAPP_OnePagers_Communication.pdf

Don't coaches need to go through a safesport background check and don't they also go through a yearly 1 hour class on safesport rules?

Yes coaches and all staff must go through this training annually. It’s clearly covered, coaches should not text with players directly without including parents. Usually, it’s the players who figure out how to text the coach at first, but the coach should shut that down and clearly communicate the policy.

You can report safesport concerns anonymously. You should also report that to your club leadership.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How to deal with coach favoritism?

We don’t want to leave the team because this is a top team in a big club.

If your kid is playing top team, they can probably make the top team at another club. Tryout for different clubs. If you don't get a top team offer, you just have to deal with it. Coachedms will always have their favorite player on a team.

Being top team on one club doesn't equate to being on top team for another club. Look at Alexandria. They pick up all of SYC's second team players and play them on their top team. The result, you have a top team with second team results.

The problem with Alexandria is not the players. The issues are the coaches and the broken system behind closed doors. Though agreed, SYC has stronger teams across all ages.

Can you elaborate more about the asa system behind closed doors? Considering having my DD tryout and make a move to ASA mls next team. Pointless to move from one broken system to another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How to deal with coach favoritism?

We don’t want to leave the team because this is a top team in a big club.

If your kid is playing top team, they can probably make the top team at another club. Tryout for different clubs. If you don't get a top team offer, you just have to deal with it. Coachedms will always have their favorite player on a team.

Being top team on one club doesn't equate to being on top team for another club. Look at Alexandria. They pick up all of SYC's second team players and play them on their top team. The result, you have a top team with second team results.

The problem with Alexandria is not the players. The issues are the coaches and the broken system behind closed doors. Though agreed, SYC has stronger teams across all ages.

Can you elaborate more about the asa system behind closed doors? Considering having my DD tryout and make a move to ASA mls next team. Pointless to move from one broken system to another.

Don’t know about the boys but good travel
Program for girls at a young agee