Favoritism

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yeah let's just blow up the coach's life without any facts (if the parents and/or multiple coaches are on the text then it's not a violation) and because he's showing favoritism to a handful of players and your kid isn't playing as much as you think they should be...justify away

It needs to be reported to the club. SafeSport is a total joke and will do nothing.

The coach doing this and the DOC are a unified front against parents. Reporting it won't do anything and likely will get my kid booted from their team. (Coach is vindictive)

A version of this happened to us, you have to leave the team. Youth soccer doesn't have whistleblower protections.

Already looking around as are others.

Unfortunately my kid is either all out amazing or bla. There's no in-between. This makes tryouts difficult because top coaches identify the disparity quickly.

The club also keeps bringing in new grass is greener parents every week to tryout with our team. So far they've all clearly been second tier but eventually they're going to strike gold.

i have a kid like just like this so let's be honest - it just means your DC (and mine) is not that good. Or at least not good enough to go somewhere better. Might be worth just sticking it out and making it a life lesson in how the world works.

I've seen players that try out well and some that Suck diddly uck. I've also seen a lot of players that are like my kid. With girls it's easy to identify the unicorns it's harder to find teams to support them.

My kid plays on a top 50 in the nation team and has been trying out for top 10 in the nation teams. It's a little different than trying for the club down the street.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An adult texting a child are red flags. Report to the authorities. That should solve your problem.

Does the poster know that the parent isn't also on the text thread?

OP did not state the age group. For U14 and above, it is common for players to text with the coach. This is part of growing up, sharing information, and advocating for themselves. If parents want to be included in the comms it is up to the family. OP did not say the texts between coach and captain were inappropriate, just that other players didn’t get returned msgs.

I don’t know if it’s common or not, but it is 100% against SafeSport guidelines and a reportable offense. It doesn’t matter the age of the player, a coach cannot text 1-1 with a minor.

What are the SafeSport rules on this - just no 1-1 texting? Emails? It's OK if a parent is cc'd on the email or included on a group text? The reason I ask is that I actually told my daughter she could text her coach (a young female coach who is very supportive of helping the players figure out individual practice plans) to ask what drills or focus she should have at home with her outside practice. This was part of the philosophy of having my daughter self-advocate, which many people say is important in their development. This coach is very good and supportive to all the players, so I don't want to risk her getting in any trouble. She hasn't texted or emailed yet, but she was going to soon as part of creating a winter training plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An adult texting a child are red flags. Report to the authorities. That should solve your problem.

Does the poster know that the parent isn't also on the text thread?

OP did not state the age group. For U14 and above, it is common for players to text with the coach. This is part of growing up, sharing information, and advocating for themselves. If parents want to be included in the comms it is up to the family. OP did not say the texts between coach and captain were inappropriate, just that other players didn’t get returned msgs.

I don’t know if it’s common or not, but it is 100% against SafeSport guidelines and a reportable offense. It doesn’t matter the age of the player, a coach cannot text 1-1 with a minor.

What are the SafeSport rules on this - just no 1-1 texting? Emails? It's OK if a parent is cc'd on the email or included on a group text? The reason I ask is that I actually told my daughter she could text her coach (a young female coach who is very supportive of helping the players figure out individual practice plans) to ask what drills or focus she should have at home with her outside practice. This was part of the philosophy of having my daughter self-advocate, which many people say is important in their development. This coach is very good and supportive to all the players, so I don't want to risk her getting in any trouble. She hasn't texted or emailed yet, but she was going to soon as part of creating a winter training plan.

She should include one of her parents on the text or another coach. It should never be only two people in the text.

[Anonymous]

Sour grapes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sour grapes

Teachers don't communicate 1on1 via texts with children.

Coaches shouldn't communicate 1on1 via texts to children.

What is so hard to understand?

The only reason people are holding off on reporting to safesport is that don't know if parents are being included on the communications.

[Anonymous]

To the OP, are you bitter that your child is not getting playtime and now you want to ruin a coach's career?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sour grapes

Teachers don't communicate 1on1 via texts with children.

Coaches shouldn't communicate 1on1 via texts to children.

What is so hard to understand?

The only reason people are holding off on reporting to safesport is that don't know if parents are being included on the communications.

For sure. If it is, 1v1 is a red flag. Group chat is a different story. Also, advocate for your kid. Indeed, as you expressed, others are witnessing favoritism, not just you, so it is not a revenge case, and you have grounds for it. If the club retaliates, report them to the powers that be. Abuse should NEVER be tolerated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the OP, are you bitter that your child is not getting playtime and now you want to ruin a coach's career?

Cool story coach.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the OP, are you bitter that your child is not getting playtime and now you want to ruin a coach's career?

Don't ignore an early sign of grooming. Everyone has a responsibility to report and stop the behavior. Coaches have training to do not this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the OP, are you bitter that your child is not getting playtime and now you want to ruin a coach's career?

Our coach runs 2 lines and changes players around between them all the time. The lines split each half 50/50. So it has nothing to do with minutes. The only thing to complain about is starts which my kid does most of the time.

I'm fine with a coaches career being ruined if they're texting children directly without parents involved in the exchanges.

If teachers in school were texting students at home without parents involvement they'd be fired. Why is coaching any different?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An adult texting a child are red flags. Report to the authorities. That should solve your problem.

Yes, report it.

Please.

Huge abuse red flags in your post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sour grapes

Teachers don't communicate 1on1 via texts with children.

Coaches shouldn't communicate 1on1 via texts to children.

What is so hard to understand?

The only reason people are holding off on reporting to safesport is that don't know if parents are being included on the communications.

For sure. If it is, 1v1 is a red flag. Group chat is a different story. Also, advocate for your kid. Indeed, as you expressed, others are witnessing favoritism, not just you, so it is not a revenge case, and you have grounds for it. If the club retaliates, report them to the powers that be. Abuse should NEVER be tolerated.

Who are the "powers that be"?

There's coaches and DOCs above them are club owners.

If you complain to the DOC or club owners they're going to back their coach unless there's something illegal going on. Especially if the coach is winning. This is how high level soccer works.

The only real option is to find a different club to play for. Unfortunately the coaches all know this and will use it against you. Basically playing chicken with parents. If you don't jump ship they know they can keep crapping on your head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the OP, are you bitter that your child is not getting playtime and now you want to ruin a coach's career?

Our coach runs 2 lines and changes players around between them all the time. The lines split each half 50/50. So it has nothing to do with minutes. The only thing to complain about is starts which my kid does most of the time.

I'm fine with a coaches career being ruined if they're texting children directly without parents involved in the exchanges.

If teachers in school were texting students at home without parents involvement they'd be fired. Why is coaching any different?

and its your fault for giving your child a phone. but you never will see it that way cause its never the parents fault. you know your child is texting the coach and yet your dumb @$$ comes onto this board to vent?

[Anonymous]

It’s universally understood in coaching not to communicate 1 on 1 with players under 18. Parents must be included in the exchange. Coaches have to re-certify in safe sport that covers this annually as well as all team managers.

Doing so, explicitly violates their contract. Clubs who ignore this must be reported.

This protects against grooming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the OP, are you bitter that your child is not getting playtime and now you want to ruin a coach's career?

Our coach runs 2 lines and changes players around between them all the time. The lines split each half 50/50. So it has nothing to do with minutes. The only thing to complain about is starts which my kid does most of the time.

I'm fine with a coaches career being ruined if they're texting children directly without parents involved in the exchanges.

If teachers in school were texting students at home without parents involvement they'd be fired. Why is coaching any different?

and its your fault for giving your child a phone. but you never will see it that way cause its never the parents fault. you know your child is texting the coach and yet your dumb @$$ comes onto this board to vent?

Wow, looks like we've outed the pedophile.

Hey coach my kid doesn't play for your team you have no power over me or my kid. Also I'm 6'4" and have no issues adjusting your teeth.