Do teens have lots of sleepovers in high school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It’s often a cover for getting drunk, sneaking out, staying out all night, or having sex. That’s gotta be obvious to people thought right??

I just don’t see how people think this. Don’t you all have tracking on your kids? I check where my kids are all the time. They’d cut their arm off before they left their phone so I’m pretty confident I know where they are and they aren’t out carousing.

The tracker doesn’t tell me if my kids are drinking or having sex. And easily they could leave their phone at a location and pretend to be sleeping.

And….? As parents we can’t prevent everything.

It’s not like I am going to allow my kids to do that, but it’s normal teen behavior. Better to be doing that than sitting in their room alone playing video games and sending nudes to randoms on Snapchat to get their kicks. It’s funny when people act like if they just turn the screws harder on their kids, instead of being out drinking they will be in their room studying and writing their first novel. Lol

There is some ground between a kid sitting alone and playing video games and nudes on snapchat and sleepovers that are definitely opening the door to behaviors that can get them in trouble. For example, kids can go out and have social lives and then come home by a certain time.

But in theory I agree with you that if I'm choosing between binge drinking/sex under the influence and sending nudes to randoms on Snapchat following video games online...it's a real tossup!

I would 1000% prefer my kids to be home playing video games than out and about drunk and having teenage sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They should. Parents who allow them in HS are basically permissive and lazy.

OP here. Guilty as charged! I'm both permissive and lazy. And I think sleepovers are great for social development and they make my kid happy. If encouraging close friendship and connection is a crime, I'm guilty!

Thank you for sharing. It sounds like she had wonderful time. One little girl who loves to chat once told me : sleepover= sleep is over

Knowing that, I think sleepovers are overrated when sleep in necessary. Maybe have them in the summer when there is no school

If your kid can't bounce back from one day of less sleep, then that is on you. I think too many mommies plan every move their kids make and leave them useless, anxious, and depressed with no autonomy.

You sound like a hard core supporter of sleepovers to the point that you felt obligated to attack. Achievers don’t enjoy catching a cold or loosing sleep. Different kind of people. Where did you learn about hate?

Achievers are that way bc they are born that way and are nurtured throughout childhood.

It’s funny bc I have an achiever and everything she does is big - including socially. She’s definitely a “sleep is for the weak” person and her homebody friends tend to lack energy and imagination.

I am cackling at this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Amazing post. You are a total idiot.

Above is not my response. I already responded saying that I am glad your daughter is a superwoman. I just forgot to mention making her close friends look bad as tending to lack imagination. It sounds like she has so much energy. It is great to be an extrovert but introverts are also achievers. It is all good. Anyways just feel good that I did not call you any names. Bye and have a good day!

[Anonymous]

I find that the anti-sleepover crew tends to spend a disproportionate time on the internet bashing sleepovers because they feel self-conscious that they are making their kid miss out on fun and on some level they feel defensive about it.

In real life, the vast majority of parents I encounter tend to be fine with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They should. Parents who allow them in HS are basically permissive and lazy.

OP here. Guilty as charged! I'm both permissive and lazy. And I think sleepovers are great for social development and they make my kid happy. If encouraging close friendship and connection is a crime, I'm guilty!

Thank you for sharing. It sounds like she had wonderful time. One little girl who loves to chat once told me : sleepover= sleep is over

Knowing that, I think sleepovers are overrated when sleep in necessary. Maybe have them in the summer when there is no school

If your kid can't bounce back from one day of less sleep, then that is on you. I think too many mommies plan every move their kids make and leave them useless, anxious, and depressed with no autonomy.

You sound like a hard core supporter of sleepovers to the point that you felt obligated to attack. Achievers don’t enjoy catching a cold or loosing sleep. Different kind of people. Where did you learn about hate?

Achievers are that way bc they are born that way and are nurtured throughout childhood.

It’s funny bc I have an achiever and everything she does is big - including socially. She’s definitely a “sleep is for the weak” person and her homebody friends tend to lack energy and imagination.

I am cackling at this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Amazing post. You are a total idiot.

Above is not my response. I already responded saying that I am glad your daughter is a superwoman. I just forgot to mention making her close friends look bad as tending to lack imagination. It sounds like she has so much energy. It is great to be an extrovert but introverts are also achievers. It is all good. Anyways just feel good that I did not call you any names. Bye and have a good day!

I'm genuinely confused. Did you or did you not say the following?

Achievers are that way bc they are born that way and are nurtured throughout childhood.

It’s funny bc I have an achiever and everything she does is big - including socially. She’s definitely a “sleep is for the weak” person and her homebody friends tend to lack energy and imagination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It’s often a cover for getting drunk, sneaking out, staying out all night, or having sex. That’s gotta be obvious to people thought right??

I just don’t see how people think this. Don’t you all have tracking on your kids? I check where my kids are all the time. They’d cut their arm off before they left their phone so I’m pretty confident I know where they are and they aren’t out carousing.

The tracker doesn’t tell me if my kids are drinking or having sex. And easily they could leave their phone at a location and pretend to be sleeping.

And….? As parents we can’t prevent everything.

It’s not like I am going to allow my kids to do that, but it’s normal teen behavior. Better to be doing that than sitting in their room alone playing video games and sending nudes to randoms on Snapchat to get their kicks. It’s funny when people act like if they just turn the screws harder on their kids, instead of being out drinking they will be in their room studying and writing their first novel. Lol

There is some ground between a kid sitting alone and playing video games and nudes on snapchat and sleepovers that are definitely opening the door to behaviors that can get them in trouble. For example, kids can go out and have social lives and then come home by a certain time.

But in theory I agree with you that if I'm choosing between binge drinking/sex under the influence and sending nudes to randoms on Snapchat following video games online...it's a real tossup!

I would 1000% prefer my kids to be home playing video games than out and about drunk and having teenage sex.

Am I the only mom that doesn't go crazy over teenage sex? I had it and loved it. Not ashamed of it. Teens have tons of hormones and they explore. I don't condone drinking or drugs, but socialization and boyfriends/girlfriends and sex are gonna happen. I much prefer that to an introvert playing video games and getting all of their sexual urges out with snap nudes and unrealistic porn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find that the anti-sleepover crew tends to spend a disproportionate time on the internet bashing sleepovers because they feel self-conscious that they are making their kid miss out on fun and on some level they feel defensive about it.

In real life, the vast majority of parents I encounter tend to be fine with it.

I agree. I grew up with tons of sleepovers and allow my kids to have them too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It’s often a cover for getting drunk, sneaking out, staying out all night, or having sex. That’s gotta be obvious to people thought right??

I just don’t see how people think this. Don’t you all have tracking on your kids? I check where my kids are all the time. They’d cut their arm off before they left their phone so I’m pretty confident I know where they are and they aren’t out carousing.

The tracker doesn’t tell me if my kids are drinking or having sex. And easily they could leave their phone at a location and pretend to be sleeping.

And….? As parents we can’t prevent everything.

It’s not like I am going to allow my kids to do that, but it’s normal teen behavior. Better to be doing that than sitting in their room alone playing video games and sending nudes to randoms on Snapchat to get their kicks. It’s funny when people act like if they just turn the screws harder on their kids, instead of being out drinking they will be in their room studying and writing their first novel. Lol

There is some ground between a kid sitting alone and playing video games and nudes on snapchat and sleepovers that are definitely opening the door to behaviors that can get them in trouble. For example, kids can go out and have social lives and then come home by a certain time.

But in theory I agree with you that if I'm choosing between binge drinking/sex under the influence and sending nudes to randoms on Snapchat following video games online...it's a real tossup!

I would 1000% prefer my kids to be home playing video games than out and about drunk and having teenage sex.

Am I the only mom that doesn't go crazy over teenage sex? I had it and loved it. Not ashamed of it. Teens have tons of hormones and they explore. I don't condone drinking or drugs, but socialization and boyfriends/girlfriends and sex are gonna happen. I much prefer that to an introvert playing video games and getting all of their sexual urges out with snap nudes and unrealistic porn.

I have no issue with it in a committed relationship with teens who treat each other well and it's sex not under the influence.

The sleepover environment in this age group can (and not at all saying always does) lead to binge drinking and an environment that enables sex that at best people regret the next morning to sexual assault. It's not any different than what can happen in college. I believe it's naive to not be aware this stuff goes on and it's not uncommon. The stats on this are that it happens to a lot of women. I have boy and girls. I don't want any of them in these positions at this age. Lots of fun to be had and still be in my house past a certain hour. My son doesn't even play video games and has a social life filled with real people and leaves the house.

[Anonymous]

For boys, not really. DS had a lot in elementary and middle school but no time, no interest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They should. Parents who allow them in HS are basically permissive and lazy.

OP here. Guilty as charged! I'm both permissive and lazy. And I think sleepovers are great for social development and they make my kid happy. If encouraging close friendship and connection is a crime, I'm guilty!

Thank you for sharing. It sounds like she had wonderful time. One little girl who loves to chat once told me : sleepover= sleep is over

Knowing that, I think sleepovers are overrated when sleep in necessary. Maybe have them in the summer when there is no school

If your kid can't bounce back from one day of less sleep, then that is on you. I think too many mommies plan every move their kids make and leave them useless, anxious, and depressed with no autonomy.

You sound like a hard core supporter of sleepovers to the point that you felt obligated to attack. Achievers don’t enjoy catching a cold or loosing sleep. Different kind of people. Where did you learn about hate?

Achievers are that way bc they are born that way and are nurtured throughout childhood.

It’s funny bc I have an achiever and everything she does is big - including socially. She’s definitely a “sleep is for the weak” person and her homebody friends tend to lack energy and imagination.

I am cackling at this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Amazing post. You are a total idiot.

Above is not my response. I already responded saying that I am glad your daughter is a superwoman. I just forgot to mention making her close friends look bad as tending to lack imagination. It sounds like she has so much energy. It is great to be an extrovert but introverts are also achievers. It is all good. Anyways just feel good that I did not call you any names. Bye and have a good day!

I'm genuinely confused. Did you or did you not say the following?

Achievers are that way bc they are born that way and are nurtured throughout childhood.

It’s funny bc I have an achiever and everything she does is big - including socially. She’s definitely a “sleep is for the weak” person and her homebody friends tend to lack energy and imagination.

Don’t think it was bc I’m the poster who said that and I haven’t been back until now.

And nothing wrong with introverts - introvert doesn’t mean homebody, why do people mix these up. I was talking about achievers, which I assume to mean people who are driven. Those kids tend to be busy. If someone is introverted but a high achiever, they generally will schedule downtime when they feel they need to. Why would you need to ban sleepovers for that kind of kid? My other kid is like this. She has them occasionally but if she needs down time she’s going to come home.

A kid though who is seeking out those experiences and craving social time isn’t going to change bc their parents want them to be more like the first kid. What about this is so hard to understand. The driven kid is a kid who does hard things out of an intrinsic motivation. Sometimes that’s also a kid driven to be more adventurous socially so shutting down all those opportunities creates maladaptive behaviors like lying, sneaking out, sexual urges like making out with a new boy turn into nude pics instead etc. Very compliant teenagers are not usually not achievers bc success does involve some risk in life.

Of course, still parent, and yes of course we all strive for some middle ground. I was responding to some of these people with the hard ban mindset

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They should. Parents who allow them in HS are basically permissive and lazy.

OP here. Guilty as charged! I'm both permissive and lazy. And I think sleepovers are great for social development and they make my kid happy. If encouraging close friendship and connection is a crime, I'm guilty!

Thank you for sharing. It sounds like she had wonderful time. One little girl who loves to chat once told me : sleepover= sleep is over

Knowing that, I think sleepovers are overrated when sleep in necessary. Maybe have them in the summer when there is no school

If your kid can't bounce back from one day of less sleep, then that is on you. I think too many mommies plan every move their kids make and leave them useless, anxious, and depressed with no autonomy.

You sound like a hard core supporter of sleepovers to the point that you felt obligated to attack. Achievers don’t enjoy catching a cold or loosing sleep. Different kind of people. Where did you learn about hate?

Achievers are that way bc they are born that way and are nurtured throughout childhood.

It’s funny bc I have an achiever and everything she does is big - including socially. She’s definitely a “sleep is for the weak” person and her homebody friends tend to lack energy and imagination.

I am cackling at this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Amazing post. You are a total idiot.

Above is not my response. I already responded saying that I am glad your daughter is a superwoman. I just forgot to mention making her close friends look bad as tending to lack imagination. It sounds like she has so much energy. It is great to be an extrovert but introverts are also achievers. It is all good. Anyways just feel good that I did not call you any names. Bye and have a good day!

I'm genuinely confused. Did you or did you not say the following?

Achievers are that way bc they are born that way and are nurtured throughout childhood.

It’s funny bc I have an achiever and everything she does is big - including socially. She’s definitely a “sleep is for the weak” person and her homebody friends tend to lack energy and imagination.

Don’t think it was bc I’m the poster who said that and I haven’t been back until now.

And nothing wrong with introverts - introvert doesn’t mean homebody, why do people mix these up. I was talking about achievers, which I assume to mean people who are driven. Those kids tend to be busy. If someone is introverted but a high achiever, they generally will schedule downtime when they feel they need to. Why would you need to ban sleepovers for that kind of kid? My other kid is like this. She has them occasionally but if she needs down time she’s going to come home.

A kid though who is seeking out those experiences and craving social time isn’t going to change bc their parents want them to be more like the first kid. What about this is so hard to understand. The driven kid is a kid who does hard things out of an intrinsic motivation. Sometimes that’s also a kid driven to be more adventurous socially so shutting down all those opportunities creates maladaptive behaviors like lying, sneaking out, sexual urges like making out with a new boy turn into nude pics instead etc. Very compliant teenagers are not usually not achievers bc success does involve some risk in life.

Of course, still parent, and yes of course we all strive for some middle ground. I was responding to some of these people with the hard ban mindset

I don’t agree with most of this but also whatever.

Sounds like a lot of rationalizing to let your high achiever daughter do whatever she wants. Is having a sleepover a big achievement?

Also kids who are “homebodies” do not necessarily lack imagination and creativity. Ridiculous assumption.

[Anonymous]

I had a ton of high school sleepovers and I never drank or did drugs. Why do people think that is happening at every sleepover?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It’s often a cover for getting drunk, sneaking out, staying out all night, or having sex. That’s gotta be obvious to people thought right??

I just don’t see how people think this. Don’t you all have tracking on your kids? I check where my kids are all the time. They’d cut their arm off before they left their phone so I’m pretty confident I know where they are and they aren’t out carousing.

The tracker doesn’t tell me if my kids are drinking or having sex. And easily they could leave their phone at a location and pretend to be sleeping.

And….? As parents we can’t prevent everything.

It’s not like I am going to allow my kids to do that, but it’s normal teen behavior. Better to be doing that than sitting in their room alone playing video games and sending nudes to randoms on Snapchat to get their kicks. It’s funny when people act like if they just turn the screws harder on their kids, instead of being out drinking they will be in their room studying and writing their first novel. Lol

There is some ground between a kid sitting alone and playing video games and nudes on snapchat and sleepovers that are definitely opening the door to behaviors that can get them in trouble. For example, kids can go out and have social lives and then come home by a certain time.

But in theory I agree with you that if I'm choosing between binge drinking/sex under the influence and sending nudes to randoms on Snapchat following video games online...it's a real tossup!

I would 1000% prefer my kids to be home playing video games than out and about drunk and having teenage sex.

Am I the only mom that doesn't go crazy over teenage sex? I had it and loved it. Not ashamed of it. Teens have tons of hormones and they explore. I don't condone drinking or drugs, but socialization and boyfriends/girlfriends and sex are gonna happen. I much prefer that to an introvert playing video games and getting all of their sexual urges out with snap nudes and unrealistic porn.

I'm with you. Didn't actually have sex until I was in college but some of the best sexual experiences my life were as a teenager. Not just that, but the moments of friendship and closeness developed at things like sleepovers and long gatherings with friends are really important to teens. I'm not opposed to video games, though, And I think kids get something out of those too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They should. Parents who allow them in HS are basically permissive and lazy.

OP here. Guilty as charged! I'm both permissive and lazy. And I think sleepovers are great for social development and they make my kid happy. If encouraging close friendship and connection is a crime, I'm guilty!

Same! My 11th grader has sleepovers with different groups of friends every few weeks. It makes her happy.

[Anonymous]

In my experience, my teen continued many sleepovers with friends in high school - staying up late, gossiping until 4 am. on a weekend, then going to activities. I also did plenty of sleepovers when I was a high school student in the early 90s..... I think it is a great way to be social on the weekends, hang with friends....and seems super great now as an alternative to being alone on screens (which seems so depressing to waste the high school years on phones alone).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They should. Parents who allow them in HS are basically permissive and lazy.

OP here. Guilty as charged! I'm both permissive and lazy. And I think sleepovers are great for social development and they make my kid happy. If encouraging close friendship and connection is a crime, I'm guilty!

Thank you for sharing. It sounds like she had wonderful time. One little girl who loves to chat once told me : sleepover= sleep is over

Knowing that, I think sleepovers are overrated when sleep in necessary. Maybe have them in the summer when there is no school

If your kid can't bounce back from one day of less sleep, then that is on you. I think too many mommies plan every move their kids make and leave them useless, anxious, and depressed with no autonomy.

You sound like a hard core supporter of sleepovers to the point that you felt obligated to attack. Achievers don’t enjoy catching a cold or loosing sleep. Different kind of people. Where did you learn about hate?

Achievers are that way bc they are born that way and are nurtured throughout childhood.

It’s funny bc I have an achiever and everything she does is big - including socially. She’s definitely a “sleep is for the weak” person and her homebody friends tend to lack energy and imagination.

I am cackling at this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Amazing post. You are a total idiot.

Above is not my response. I already responded saying that I am glad your daughter is a superwoman. I just forgot to mention making her close friends look bad as tending to lack imagination. It sounds like she has so much energy. It is great to be an extrovert but introverts are also achievers. It is all good. Anyways just feel good that I did not call you any names. Bye and have a good day!

I'm genuinely confused. Did you or did you not say the following?

Achievers are that way bc they are born that way and are nurtured throughout childhood.

It’s funny bc I have an achiever and everything she does is big - including socially. She’s definitely a “sleep is for the weak” person and her homebody friends tend to lack energy and imagination.

Don’t think it was bc I’m the poster who said that and I haven’t been back until now.

And nothing wrong with introverts - introvert doesn’t mean homebody, why do people mix these up. I was talking about achievers, which I assume to mean people who are driven. Those kids tend to be busy. If someone is introverted but a high achiever, they generally will schedule downtime when they feel they need to. Why would you need to ban sleepovers for that kind of kid? My other kid is like this. She has them occasionally but if she needs down time she’s going to come home.

A kid though who is seeking out those experiences and craving social time isn’t going to change bc their parents want them to be more like the first kid. What about this is so hard to understand. The driven kid is a kid who does hard things out of an intrinsic motivation. Sometimes that’s also a kid driven to be more adventurous socially so shutting down all those opportunities creates maladaptive behaviors like lying, sneaking out, sexual urges like making out with a new boy turn into nude pics instead etc. Very compliant teenagers are not usually not achievers bc success does involve some risk in life.

Of course, still parent, and yes of course we all strive for some middle ground. I was responding to some of these people with the hard ban mindset

I don’t agree with most of this but also whatever.

Sounds like a lot of rationalizing to let your high achiever daughter do whatever she wants. Is having a sleepover a big achievement?

Also kids who are “homebodies” do not necessarily lack imagination and creativity. Ridiculous assumption.

Fair enough about homebodies bc I’m sure there are some that are in their room painting, writing, creating but that’s just not what Ive seen, but that was an unnecessary dig on my part.

But what on earth do you mean. Allowing sleepovers doesn’t mean it’s all the time, or that parents don’t say no to iit if it’s a bad night it’s just not a hard no all the time under some sort of delusion that if you just make sure your kid has no independence at all and you keep your thumb in them, they will never do anything you don’t want them to do.