Do teens have lots of sleepovers in high school?

[Anonymous]

They are less common simply because my DD and her friends are a lot busier with school and extracurricular commitments.

[Anonymous]

Just like the shrinking middle class, there is a shrinking of teen autonomy. Parents over-schedule, demand perfect grades, and also coddle their kids at the same time. Plan their every hour and expect perfection and step in to help to achieve that. They only time they get to themselves is to hide alone and stare at screens.

And you all denying sleepovers and hang-outs because a lack of sleep or potential for a drink or sex etc... are just raising anxious depressed teens who can't do anything for themselves.

I find there are very few parents who are pushing socialization, autonomy, street smarts, adult independence, and genuine happiness over a "perfect" college resume.

And we wonder why teens of this generation have the highest suicide and mental health issues. It's really sad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just like the shrinking middle class, there is a shrinking of teen autonomy. Parents over-schedule, demand perfect grades, and also coddle their kids at the same time. Plan their every hour and expect perfection and step in to help to achieve that. They only time they get to themselves is to hide alone and stare at screens.

And you all denying sleepovers and hang-outs because a lack of sleep or potential for a drink or sex etc... are just raising anxious depressed teens who can't do anything for themselves.

I find there are very few parents who are pushing socialization, autonomy, street smarts, adult independence, and genuine happiness over a "perfect" college resume.

And we wonder why teens of this generation have the highest suicide and mental health issues. It's really sad

Well said. But there are some of us out there like you PP. I push socialization, friendship and autonomy as much as I can. The ability to maintain relationships, get along, and resolve conflict etc are pretty much key to happiness in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They should. Parents who allow them in HS are basically permissive and lazy.

OP here. Guilty as charged! I'm both permissive and lazy. And I think sleepovers are great for social development and they make my kid happy. If encouraging close friendship and connection is a crime, I'm guilty!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It’s often a cover for getting drunk, sneaking out, staying out all night, or having sex. That’s gotta be obvious to people thought right??

I just don’t see how people think this. Don’t you all have tracking on your kids? I check where my kids are all the time. They’d cut their arm off before they left their phone so I’m pretty confident I know where they are and they aren’t out carousing.

The tracker doesn’t tell me if my kids are drinking or having sex. And easily they could leave their phone at a location and pretend to be sleeping.

And….? As parents we can’t prevent everything.

It’s not like I am going to allow my kids to do that, but it’s normal teen behavior. Better to be doing that than sitting in their room alone playing video games and sending nudes to randoms on Snapchat to get their kicks. It’s funny when people act like if they just turn the screws harder on their kids, instead of being out drinking they will be in their room studying and writing their first novel. Lol

There is some ground between a kid sitting alone and playing video games and nudes on snapchat and sleepovers that are definitely opening the door to behaviors that can get them in trouble. For example, kids can go out and have social lives and then come home by a certain time.

But in theory I agree with you that if I'm choosing between binge drinking/sex under the influence and sending nudes to randoms on Snapchat following video games online...it's a real tossup!

I would 1000% prefer my kids to be home playing video games than out and about drunk and having teenage sex.

I would 1000% prefer my kids to be having normal friendships, including sleepovers at my house.

[Anonymous]

Not my kids or their friends. But I've heard of my friends' kids doing that. The range of normal is very large, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just like the shrinking middle class, there is a shrinking of teen autonomy. Parents over-schedule, demand perfect grades, and also coddle their kids at the same time. Plan their every hour and expect perfection and step in to help to achieve that. They only time they get to themselves is to hide alone and stare at screens.

And you all denying sleepovers and hang-outs because a lack of sleep or potential for a drink or sex etc... are just raising anxious depressed teens who can't do anything for themselves.

I find there are very few parents who are pushing socialization, autonomy, street smarts, adult independence, and genuine happiness over a "perfect" college resume.

And we wonder why teens of this generation have the highest suicide and mental health issues. It's really sad

Here, here! I’m shocked daily by how non functioning so many teens are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just like the shrinking middle class, there is a shrinking of teen autonomy. Parents over-schedule, demand perfect grades, and also coddle their kids at the same time. Plan their every hour and expect perfection and step in to help to achieve that. They only time they get to themselves is to hide alone and stare at screens.

And you all denying sleepovers and hang-outs because a lack of sleep or potential for a drink or sex etc... are just raising anxious depressed teens who can't do anything for themselves.

I find there are very few parents who are pushing socialization, autonomy, street smarts, adult independence, and genuine happiness over a "perfect" college resume.

And we wonder why teens of this generation have the highest suicide and mental health issues. It's really sad

My DS is in college and had sleepovers with his best friend from age 5 until a few weeks ago. They will pick up when he comes home. There are plenty of kids with free time who are not overscheduled. My DS' dad lives far away so I feel like his friend's dad was like a dad to him. He taught them a lot of dad things like grilling and playing pool and remembering Mother's Day. The boys would cook a huge breakfast in the morning after they woke up at like 11am (it was more like a brunch). I taught them both how to plant flowers, trim hedges, clean the bathroom the right way, and ride bikes when they were 5. Their friendship is way more important than any EC.

[Anonymous]

No, teens don’t have sleepovers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, teens don’t have sleepovers.

What?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My middle schooler has a sleepover with different friends every weekend and they are one of the highlights of his social life. I don't remember doing sleepovers at all in high school so I'm curious if this is likely to continue. Do sleepovers taper off in high school or do kids keep doing them?

Do you live on an isolated cult compound? The majority of K-12 kids sleep in their own bed at their own home 99.9% of the time. Having sleepovers every weekend is not a "thing" in the broader culture. That is something very weird and particular to your culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My middle schooler has a sleepover with different friends every weekend and they are one of the highlights of his social life. I don't remember doing sleepovers at all in high school so I'm curious if this is likely to continue. Do sleepovers taper off in high school or do kids keep doing them?

Do you live on an isolated cult compound? The majority of K-12 kids sleep in their own bed at their own home 99.9% of the time. Having sleepovers every weekend is not a "thing" in the broader culture. That is something very weird and particular to your culture.

OP posted a year ago. By now her middle schooler is probably in high school and she has her answer.

[Anonymous]

The last time my son (who is now 19) slept over anyone's house it was after a party that he went to and didn't want to drive home. Good choice. That was over the summer.

My DD still who is 16 will occasionally stay at friends or have friends over. Last weekend, she had a friend stay over and then got up Sunday AM and went to the gym together. No big deal.

We have a finished basement with a bedroom and bathroom which makes it a ton easier for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, teens don’t have sleepovers.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My middle schooler has a sleepover with different friends every weekend and they are one of the highlights of his social life. I don't remember doing sleepovers at all in high school so I'm curious if this is likely to continue. Do sleepovers taper off in high school or do kids keep doing them?

No. More like "crashing" at someone's house cause too drunk to drive home, or wanting to avoid going home for some reason. Or just wanting to spend the night with the BF/GF. Camping was used as an excuse a lot also.