My friends got old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember once I went on a long, strenuous hike with some friends. I was so embarassed because I was lagging behind, out of breath and red faced. I felt so out of shape and humiliated.

Turned out, I came down with a horrific illness that put me out of commission and bed ridden for about 3 weeks a day or so later.

The point is... you never know what someone is going through and what's happening for them at that exact moment. So withhold judgement

And btw, my point here is that the virus was already in my body and I was certainly already feeling the effects. No wonder I couldnt hike up a mountain- my body was attempting to fight off a tsunami of the infection I had heading my way!

[Anonymous]

Do you have kids, OP? Or you just work and work out a lot?

[Anonymous]

Also fwiw Ive always been way fitter than most of my friends, but that has had literally no impact on my life, bc we go out for meals, take our kids to playgrounds, do book clubs, wineries, and hang out at the lake together. It makes basically zero difference??? We all recently went hiking, and all it meant was that I have fun and talk and laugh freely at the communal pace without getting winded or anything, and enjoyed pausing with people to take in the views. Join a running club!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Over 50 is when differences in genetics and lifestyles really begin to show. Also, not everyone has time to work out 6 days/week. Maybe you could put more time and effort into being a kinder, more generous person.

OP here. I work a full time job, which means I get up at 4:30 to work out M-F. I’m sad that my friends DGAF about their health. I don’t understand why people don’t prioritize their health. I don’t want to be in a nursing home and decrepit. They’re on that path. If you cannot handle stairs in a house in your mid50s, you are looking at a sad life in your 60s and 70s! Why aren’t there alarms going off for them??

Right and you go to bed at 9pm, which isn't feasible for many people.

[Anonymous]

And you got nasty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids, OP? Or you just work and work out a lot?

She's 50, there is zero change she has an elementary age kid if she is working out 6 times a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a handful of friends that I have been friends with for years. We are all over 50. I workout 6 days a week. I really got in the habit during the beginning of the pandemic. The thing I am struggling with is my friends have not made this decision and it has become a constant annoyance because they cannot keep up with me. I have a friend staying with me who has complained nonstop about the stairs in my house. They have been constantly out of breath walking around, like gasping for air. My other friend constantly complains that I walk too fast when we go anywhere. In my defense, I’m not really even walking, it’s a very slow pace. They’re all always complaining about aches and pains, which is mind blowing to me because I have RA (which has dramatically improved with working out!) If you workout and are older, do you have this issue? I feel like all my friends have suddenly gotten very old. It’s like hanging out with grandparents. Help me work through this. What happened to my fun friends?!

Father time is undefeated. He will claim you soon.

[Anonymous]

The funny thing with walking pace is that it’s totally preferential, not just a symbol of one’s fitness. I’m sure I’ve told a friend to slow down. If we’re walking a trail, and we finish early then we cut the visit short. I walk every day and when I’m alone I walk fast, but if I’m with friends I find it annoying to go at a breakneck pace. Unless they confirmed we had a speed walking date specifically for fitness.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I work a full time job, which means I get up at 4:30 to work out M-F. I’m sad that my friends DGAF about their health. I don’t understand why people don’t prioritize their health. I don’t want to be in a nursing home and decrepit. They’re on that path. If you cannot handle stairs in a house in your mid50s, you are looking at a sad life in your 60s and 70s! Why aren’t there alarms going off for them??

What do you mean "you don't understand why people don't prioritize your health"? You said in your OP that fitness is a habit you started in 2020 so presumably it was not your priority before then. Maybe do a little self-reflection.

I personally got in shape around that time and I feel no need to be smug about it. I'm 52, my kids are in their 20s and live in other states, I work at home, my husband cooks, i dont have any health issues, and I can easily set aside 5pm to 7 pm for exercise and showering (in my own basement!). Not everyone has these luxuries. There was no period in my life where I could have gotten up at 4:30 to work out.

[Anonymous]

You've been lucky so far. I'm 52 and have been a daily exerciser for decades and eat pretty well. No previous health problems. Since 48, I haven't felt great, can't figure out why, and things that were easy before are a struggle. You can prioritize health all you like and still end up not aging the way you want. Try to give your friends some grace, even if they aren't living life the way you think they should.

[czqiang]

Don't give up, your body is getting older but your heart is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids, OP? Or you just work and work out a lot?

Yes I have two kids, which is why I workout so early in the morning. I worked out maybe 3 times a week before the pandemic. Once I was able to get in the routine of early morning workouts, I can maintain 6 days a week. I actually have two kids, a full time job, and assist periodically with my DH’s company. If I didn’t workout the stress would kill me, which is why I created this routine.

[Anonymous]

Very common and normal for people to slow down as they get older - people who work out 6 days/week are the exception. So, be thankful that you've kept yourself up, enjoy the ease with which you move around in the world, but have empathy for those who make different choices and have different abilities.

Most people who live in the suburbs walk not at all, not to restaurants, not up stairs, whatever. Choose activities where you can park close, or just sympathize with the complaints because the activities are far outside their norm.

[Anonymous]

Hmmmm empathy loss is a sign of dementia. Your lack of empathy and sleep could lead to cognition issues in the future. As much as you want to fight it you may end up in a home for other reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You've been lucky so far. I'm 52 and have been a daily exerciser for decades and eat pretty well. No previous health problems. Since 48, I haven't felt great, can't figure out why, and things that were easy before are a struggle. You can prioritize health all you like and still end up not aging the way you want. Try to give your friends some grace, even if they aren't living life the way you think they should.

+1

I exercise regularly and try to eat healthy foods, but I know that doesn't ensure I won't have any health problems. My DH is not an exerciser and eats a mostly junk food diet, but he could be the one who lives the longest and healthiest.

PP, I hope you get a diagnosis to help.