My friends got old

[Anonymous]

I have a handful of friends that I have been friends with for years. We are all over 50. I workout 6 days a week. I really got in the habit during the beginning of the pandemic. The thing I am struggling with is my friends have not made this decision and it has become a constant annoyance because they cannot keep up with me. I have a friend staying with me who has complained nonstop about the stairs in my house. They have been constantly out of breath walking around, like gasping for air. My other friend constantly complains that I walk too fast when we go anywhere. In my defense, I’m not really even walking, it’s a very slow pace. They’re all always complaining about aches and pains, which is mind blowing to me because I have RA (which has dramatically improved with working out!) If you workout and are older, do you have this issue? I feel like all my friends have suddenly gotten very old. It’s like hanging out with grandparents. Help me work through this. What happened to my fun friends?!

[Anonymous]

They’re not as good as you. You’re superior in every way and should definitely tell them that.

[Anonymous]

You never had a friend with a hard pregnancy who couldn't keep up as much? You never had a friend get sick who was no longer able to rappel down mountains?

It either sounds like you don't have much life experience or you have a short memory. Throughout my life my friends dipped in and out of various activity levels depending on where they were in life. We adjust.

[Anonymous]

My reaction has never been to be annoyed. Personally I feel lucky to have been able to remain healthy and active as I age.

[Anonymous]

Over 50 is when differences in genetics and lifestyles really begin to show. Also, not everyone has time to work out 6 days/week. Maybe you could put more time and effort into being a kinder, more generous person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Over 50 is when differences in genetics and lifestyles really begin to show. Also, not everyone has time to work out 6 days/week. Maybe you could put more time and effort into being a kinder, more generous person.

OP here. I work a full time job, which means I get up at 4:30 to work out M-F. I’m sad that my friends DGAF about their health. I don’t understand why people don’t prioritize their health. I don’t want to be in a nursing home and decrepit. They’re on that path. If you cannot handle stairs in a house in your mid50s, you are looking at a sad life in your 60s and 70s! Why aren’t there alarms going off for them??

[Anonymous]

Wow, you’re having a really hard time being over 50 and dealing with your increasing irrelevance and mortality. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

lol. Dealing with friends who are less fit is so much easier than dealing with those who are jerks with a superiority complex.

[Anonymous]

I’d rather have friends who are old than judgmental.

I’m over 50 too and yes, things are starting to catch up with some people. One of my friends who has worked out their entire life has started to have major joint issues. It has nothing to do with lack of taking of herself. Others have old sports injuries that are causing issues. I walk quickly and have a long stride but I don’t think I’m better than my friends. I’m just tall with long legs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a handful of friends that I have been friends with for years. We are all over 50. I workout 6 days a week. I really got in the habit during the beginning of the pandemic. The thing I am struggling with is my friends have not made this decision and it has become a constant annoyance because they cannot keep up with me. I have a friend staying with me who has complained nonstop about the stairs in my house. They have been constantly out of breath walking around, like gasping for air. My other friend constantly complains that I walk too fast when we go anywhere. In my defense, I’m not really even walking, it’s a very slow pace. They’re all always complaining about aches and pains, which is mind blowing to me because I have RA (which has dramatically improved with working out!) If you workout and are older, do you have this issue? I feel like all my friends have suddenly gotten very old. It’s like hanging out with grandparents. Help me work through this. What happened to my fun friends?!

Suggestion #1: Gain some empathy and focus on something else. Reflect on what you really value about that friendship if you really don't think they are "Fun" anymore because they walk a little slower than you. IS that what makes you fun?

[Anonymous]

So see a movie with them or go out for a meal. Don’t do active things with them. Meet them where they are. Find younger friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a handful of friends that I have been friends with for years. We are all over 50. I workout 6 days a week. I really got in the habit during the beginning of the pandemic. The thing I am struggling with is my friends have not made this decision and it has become a constant annoyance because they cannot keep up with me. I have a friend staying with me who has complained nonstop about the stairs in my house. They have been constantly out of breath walking around, like gasping for air. My other friend constantly complains that I walk too fast when we go anywhere. In my defense, I’m not really even walking, it’s a very slow pace. They’re all always complaining about aches and pains, which is mind blowing to me because I have RA (which has dramatically improved with working out!) If you workout and are older, do you have this issue? I feel like all my friends have suddenly gotten very old. It’s like hanging out with grandparents. Help me work through this. What happened to my fun friends?!

Suggestion #1: Gain some empathy and focus on something else. Reflect on what you really value about that friendship if you really don't think they are "Fun" anymore because they walk a little slower than you. IS that what makes you fun?

No it’s because they’re gasping (I’m not talking slightly winded) for air and unable to do basic activities without significant physical effort. They struggled to climb the stairs to a rooftop bar. They struggled to walk down U St to a restaurant. Granted they live out West where no one walks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Over 50 is when differences in genetics and lifestyles really begin to show. Also, not everyone has time to work out 6 days/week. Maybe you could put more time and effort into being a kinder, more generous person.

OP here. I work a full time job, which means I get up at 4:30 to work out M-F. I’m sad that my friends DGAF about their health. I don’t understand why people don’t prioritize their health. I don’t want to be in a nursing home and decrepit. They’re on that path. If you cannot handle stairs in a house in your mid50s, you are looking at a sad life in your 60s and 70s! Why aren’t there alarms going off for them??

You haven’t gained much wisdom if you think you can control the effects of aging. Genetics trump lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Over 50 is when differences in genetics and lifestyles really begin to show. Also, not everyone has time to work out 6 days/week. Maybe you could put more time and effort into being a kinder, more generous person.

OP here. I work a full time job, which means I get up at 4:30 to work out M-F. I’m sad that my friends DGAF about their health. I don’t understand why people don’t prioritize their health. I don’t want to be in a nursing home and decrepit. They’re on that path. If you cannot handle stairs in a house in your mid50s, you are looking at a sad life in your 60s and 70s! Why aren’t there alarms going off for them??

You haven’t gained much wisdom if you think you can control the effects of aging. Genetics and luck trump lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Over 50 is when differences in genetics and lifestyles really begin to show. Also, not everyone has time to work out 6 days/week. Maybe you could put more time and effort into being a kinder, more generous person.

OP here. I work a full time job, which means I get up at 4:30 to work out M-F. I’m sad that my friends DGAF about their health. I don’t understand why people don’t prioritize their health. I don’t want to be in a nursing home and decrepit. They’re on that path. If you cannot handle stairs in a house in your mid50s, you are looking at a sad life in your 60s and 70s! Why aren’t there alarms going off for them??

You haven’t gained much wisdom if you think you can control the effects of aging. Genetics trump lifestyle.

Sorry, but this has been debunked. Lifestyle can offset genetics: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2024/apr/30/healthy-lifestyle-may-offset-genetics-by-60-and-add-five-years-to-life-study-says