Ugh- text from my daughter at lunch

[Anonymous]

Get that head checked OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get that head checked OP

Get your soul checked. 💩

[Anonymous]

My daughter ate alone during 9th grade. Her friends changed lunch spots after the first few weeks and didn't tell her. It sucked for her - she only told me this afterwards. But, she made a new group of friends and going into Senior year has a solid core and is an involved student and has friend groups from her various activities. She didn't like her friends new friends - and I love that she managed to figure it out on her own and stay true to herself.

It does suck though so I feel you. Hang in there. Make home the good spot.

[Anonymous]

She looks around and sees someone else who needs someone to sit with.

She won't do this, can't do this if she's texting you Mom.

[Anonymous]

No need for tuff love, kind love. Text her back and give her some attention.

[Anonymous]

Ok I. Think she’ll be fine. Have her sign up for a club or two—many meet at lunch. If continues to be an issue, our DD benefited from therapy and end of Junior year a low dose Zoloft (social anxiety/severe blushing). Off to college next week thriving. But as I said start with joining clubs first that meet at lunch.

[Anonymous]

Wow some people on this thread are really mean. Some of us went through this when we were in school so of course we have ideas of how to help. If you didn’t go through this yourself you don’t understand.

[Anonymous]

My son also sat alone today. He didn’t know anyone in his lunch period. He also left his phone in his backpack back in the classroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was your daughter, OP. My mom’s attitude toward me was essentially tough love, and it hurt me terribly. It was much more painful to think my mom thought I just needed to buck up and be brave than it was to eat alone.

Someday your daughter will build enough confidence and skills to ask to sit with strangers at lunch. That isn’t today. Just make sure she knows you think she is wonderful just as she is, and she’ll figure it out. And she will!

No offense but you don't sound very well adjusted. You needed to be pushed clearly, your mom was right.

[Anonymous]

The other pps who are introverts and shy - why do you expect everyone to cater to you?? Yes, a parent who loves their child will encourage them to branch out, this is the only way they will find friends. The world doesn't revolve around any one, shy people and introverts included.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The other pps who are introverts and shy - why do you expect everyone to cater to you?? Yes, a parent who loves their child will encourage them to branch out, this is the only way they will find friends. The world doesn't revolve around any one, shy people and introverts included.

I'm new to this thread and have just one question - what is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave her be. Let her figure out. And stop texting with her during the school day.

Same. Another reasons kids shouldn’t bring phones to school. They can’t problem solve without mom anymore

They also can’t meet anyone if their nose is in their phone. Add in some AirPods and it’s essentially announcing “don’t talk to me” this is why so many kids don’t have friends, not bc kids are any less outgoing.

If there had been cell phones I probably wouldn’t have made friends as a shy teenager. I had to look around and be aware of my surroundings and other people. Eventually you could spot potential friends over time.

Absolutely agree

+2. Chicken or egg: nobody approaches the student engrossed in his or her phone or the student is engrossed in the phone because nobody approaches him or her? Many parents seem to think it’s the latter, I think it’s the former.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The other pps who are introverts and shy - why do you expect everyone to cater to you?? Yes, a parent who loves their child will encourage them to branch out, this is the only way they will find friends. The world doesn't revolve around any one, shy people and introverts included.

I'm new to this thread and have just one question - what is wrong with you?

What is wrong with you? Why wouldn't you help your child make friends when they are sad they are lonely???

[Anonymous]

My kid just started at TJ and has like 2 or 3 friends there but knows no one else. It's hard, but we have to support and let them figure it out. My motto, embrace the weird kindness is the most important thing and find a few people that you connect with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow some people on this thread are really mean. Some of us went through this when we were in school so of course we have ideas of how to help. If you didn’t go through this yourself you don’t understand.

+1

OP not sure if this has been suggested but if she sees another girl sitting alone for awhile- especially if for more than one day (even better if she recognizes her from class?) she could approach and sit nearby or even ask “hey can I sit here?” Etc. Still so hard though, I know.