Ugh- text from my daughter at lunch

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, checking back in. The second day was better - she sat with two girls she knew from an old club team. The issue, I now understand, is that the lunch block she's in every other day is part of a class she's in with sophomores, so she's finding it difficult to find a group to sit with.

I worry about her because she confides in me how much she wants friends, and how anxious she is about saying something stupid or being made fun of. (To my knowledge, this has never happened to her before, but her old clique of middle school girls from private school tended to make fun of others, which she hated.)

I am really trying to just listen and be there for her, but when you're child is struggling and asking for help, it's hard. Anyway, thanks to those of you that gave really good advice!

Can she switch her lunch block? I would do that, if it were my daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, checking back in. The second day was better - she sat with two girls she knew from an old club team. The issue, I now understand, is that the lunch block she's in every other day is part of a class she's in with sophomores, so she's finding it difficult to find a group to sit with.

I worry about her because she confides in me how much she wants friends, and how anxious she is about saying something stupid or being made fun of. (To my knowledge, this has never happened to her before, but her old clique of middle school girls from private school tended to make fun of others, which she hated.)

I am really trying to just listen and be there for her, but when you're child is struggling and asking for help, it's hard. Anyway, thanks to those of you that gave really good advice!

Can she switch her lunch block? I would do that, if it were my daughter.

NP: our HS doesn’t allow requests to change lunch periods. My guess is this is typical. They do allow switching electives (if capacity allows) the first few weeks of school- and many kids do this as a backdoor way to get a different lunch period. My kids haven’t done this but seems common among their friends.

[Anonymous]

Op, I am glad it is going a little better for your DD. Sending her and you good vibes. you sound like a great mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, checking back in. The second day was better - she sat with two girls she knew from an old club team. The issue, I now understand, is that the lunch block she's in every other day is part of a class she's in with sophomores, so she's finding it difficult to find a group to sit with.

I worry about her because she confides in me how much she wants friends, and how anxious she is about saying something stupid or being made fun of. (To my knowledge, this has never happened to her before, but her old clique of middle school girls from private school tended to make fun of others, which she hated.)

I am really trying to just listen and be there for her, but when you're child is struggling and asking for help, it's hard. Anyway, thanks to those of you that gave really good advice!

that’s bullying. Can she report those girls for bullying? The school should stop it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At my kids’ high school, there’s one teacher who the kids adore who lets anyone come eat lunch in his classroom. He chats with them, they start to get to know each other. It’s kind of a safe space for the awkward, but it’s a nice option for a quiet kid, even if only temporarily or occasionally.

As long as there are other kids in that classroom. These days you don't know if the teacher is really being thoughtful or grooming kids and I wouldn't encourage my kid to go sit alone with a teacher.