Ugh- text from my daughter at lunch

[Anonymous]

How she was allowed to use her phone during the school day? Aren’t they all banned now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sent my kids in with a Kindle on the first day and told them if it so happens thst they sit alone at lunch, maybe they could view it as some downtime instead of seeing it as a failure on their part to connect.

But I said keep your eyes open when you are going in or if you see someone you know and cannot with them. They used the Kindle for a week or so at which time they started sitting with people they met in their classes. Now the Kindle gathers dust. But I'm keeping it if they need it when starting high school.

This is a really good idea.

What?! That is a terrible idea. It’s ok to sit alone. Sitting alone and looking at a phone or kindle isn’t exactly making you approachable, in fact opposite. God forbid you sit alone and don’t “look busy” with something.

It's not "trying to look busy." I mean maybe it is for your kid. But mine would be perfect happy to spend some time relaxing in the middle of a hectic first day. Of course this is after they've checked out the area for potential people to talk with.

[Anonymous]

Does she know anyone she's friendly with right before lunch period? I know she's shy, but can she say something like "Do you mind if I sit with you guys at lunch?"

[Anonymous]

I went through a period in my teens where I had a lot of social issues, so I sat alone for lunch. I did my HW. Now a days they can look at their phone.

It sucked. I hated HS.

[Anonymous]

Tell her to bring a book tomorrow. There is nothing shameful or sad about sitting alone. Don’t model to the contrary for her.

[Anonymous]

Be like Rory Gilmore!

[Anonymous]

It is tough first days.
But reading this I now understand the "can I eat dinner alone in a restaurant" threads.

[Anonymous]

Why is your kid texting at school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop texting. Parents should not text or engage when their kids are at school! Leave them to figure it out.

Not the question or your business. You also have no idea if this was in the hall or some other place where it is allowed.

I disagree. It's good advice to stop texting during the day. And yes, it is related to the question. OP asked about tough love. Why bother with tough love (whatever that means to OP) if you can't refrain from texting back before the school day has ended?

You know what they say about opinions and s$$holes?

[Anonymous]

Being introverted is not a disease that needs curing.

[Anonymous]

My dd is a senior and has a small friend group. Her school has like four lunch shifts, so she’s had plenty of semesters with no friends at lunch.
She’s fine. She finds a quiet spot - reads or does homework while she eats or looks at her phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave her be. Let her figure out. And stop texting with her during the school day.

Same. Another reasons kids shouldn’t bring phones to school. They can’t problem solve without mom anymore

They also can’t meet anyone if their nose is in their phone. Add in some AirPods and it’s essentially announcing “don’t talk to me” this is why so many kids don’t have friends, not bc kids are any less outgoing.

If there had been cell phones I probably wouldn’t have made friends as a shy teenager. I had to look around and be aware of my surroundings and other people. Eventually you could spot potential friends over time.

Absolutely agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How she was allowed to use her phone during the school day? Aren’t they all banned now?

No, in Virginia it doesn’t take effect until Jan and we don’t know where OP lives. Also different rules for different ages - high schoolers will still be able to have them at lunch and in between classes.

[Anonymous]

If I were here I’d be more stressed about being pressured to approach people, than by eating alone.

Introverts take longer to be ready. I’d remind her that and tell her that she will eventually get there and not to fear.

[Anonymous]

She shouldn't be texting you. You are a crutch. You shouldn't be her social support - she'd be more likely to share feelings w/another student and, maybe, build a connection. If you weren't there. And it's school. She shouldn't be texting you during school.