How to parent in hyper competitive type A area?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound pathetic and naive OP. How clueless can you be?

Must be immigrants with zero emotional intelligence

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m going dissent here.

The only people stressed out about how this area is competitive (other those that literally can’t afford it) are people who are themselves obsessed about being competitive.

If you are ok with your kid being top, say, 15%, let alone average, it’s not that hard if your kid has talent. Your problem is that you don’t want top 15%, you want #1 or as close as you can get, and in this area that’s freaking hard because… there are so many people just like you! You want your kid to crush easy competition and that’s just not how it works here.

Just teach your kid to work hard and be independently motivated and not obsess over being the literal best - at some point, there’s always someone better - and everything will be just fine.

- Local, not valedictorian, same HHI as you.

+1 million.

When you feel that twinge of competitive jealousy, remind yourself of your family priorities of raising kind humans who are resilient, and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m going dissent here.

The only people stressed out about how this area is competitive (other those that literally can’t afford it) are people who are themselves obsessed about being competitive.

If you are ok with your kid being top, say, 15%, let alone average, it’s not that hard if your kid has talent. Your problem is that you don’t want top 15%, you want #1 or as close as you can get, and in this area that’s freaking hard because… there are so many people just like you! You want your kid to crush easy competition and that’s just not how it works here.

Just teach your kid to work hard and be independently motivated and not obsess over being the literal best - at some point, there’s always someone better - and everything will be just fine.

- Local, not valedictorian, same HHI as you.

+1 million.

When you feel that twinge of competitive jealousy, remind yourself of your family priorities of raising kind humans who are resilient, and move on.

So trite

[Anonymous]

DH and I went to top colleges and ivy grad schools. We now have a seven figure HHI and live in McLean. Many kids at our kids’ school have parents who attended ivy schools and/or were strong athletes. I have two kids in AAP and one kid currently in first grade. I expect youngest to also get into AAP. My kids are surrounded by high achieving kids and parents and my kids just know this as normal everyday life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I went to top colleges and ivy grad schools. We now have a seven figure HHI and live in McLean. Many kids at our kids’ school have parents who attended ivy schools and/or were strong athletes. I have two kids in AAP and one kid currently in first grade. I expect youngest to also get into AAP. My kids are surrounded by high achieving kids and parents and my kids just know this as normal everyday life.

Neither DH nor I attended top colleges. Our grad degrees checked boxes for our employers and that's it. We do not have a 7 figure HHI. All 3 of my kids are in AAP. So do I get bragging rights too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m going dissent here.

The only people stressed out about how this area is competitive (other those that literally can’t afford it) are people who are themselves obsessed about being competitive.

If you are ok with your kid being top, say, 15%, let alone average, it’s not that hard if your kid has talent. Your problem is that you don’t want top 15%, you want #1 or as close as you can get, and in this area that’s freaking hard because… there are so many people just like you! You want your kid to crush easy competition and that’s just not how it works here.

Just teach your kid to work hard and be independently motivated and not obsess over being the literal best - at some point, there’s always someone better - and everything will be just fine.

- Local, not valedictorian, same HHI as you.

I just posted that we live in McLean and my kids are just used to being around high achievers. I have one top student who will likely go to an ivy or similar, one kid who will probably be UVA level and another who is too young to tell. They will all be fine. I’m not worried about them at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m going dissent here.

The only people stressed out about how this area is competitive (other those that literally can’t afford it) are people who are themselves obsessed about being competitive.

If you are ok with your kid being top, say, 15%, let alone average, it’s not that hard if your kid has talent. Your problem is that you don’t want top 15%, you want #1 or as close as you can get, and in this area that’s freaking hard because… there are so many people just like you! You want your kid to crush easy competition and that’s just not how it works here.

Just teach your kid to work hard and be independently motivated and not obsess over being the literal best - at some point, there’s always someone better - and everything will be just fine.

- Local, not valedictorian, same HHI as you.

I just posted that we live in McLean and my kids are just used to being around high achievers. I have one top student who will likely go to an ivy or similar, one kid who will probably be UVA level and another who is too young to tell. They will all be fine. I’m not worried about them at all.

🍪?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I went to top colleges and ivy grad schools. We now have a seven figure HHI and live in McLean. Many kids at our kids’ school have parents who attended ivy schools and/or were strong athletes. I have two kids in AAP and one kid currently in first grade. I expect youngest to also get into AAP. My kids are surrounded by high achieving kids and parents and my kids just know this as normal everyday life.

Neither DH nor I attended top colleges. Our grad degrees checked boxes for our employers and that's it. We do not have a 7 figure HHI. All 3 of my kids are in AAP. So do I get bragging rights too?

I am answering OP about living in a competitive UMC area. Dh and I are high achievers. My kids are high achievers. They have friends who are high achievers and have high achieving parents. You seem to care more about your lack of top college than I do. Maybe our kids play soccer or tennis together. I really wouldn’t care where you went to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You make more than 95% of the people here, and probably more than 90% of the people on DCUM.

So shut up. You're part of the problem.

Op - isn’t the hope that our kids do better than we do?

I know dh and I have done significantly better than our own parents.

PP you replied to. I am worth 15M in my 40s. I do not go about wringing my hands like you, even though one of my kids has special needs, and we are establishing a trust fund for them. You are tone deaf, and this is why I am admonishing you.

Come on, OP. You're better than this. Children are not guaranteed the successes of their parents. Generational wealth goes a long way to mitigate risks for the next generation. Instead of competing stupidly in things that don't matter... think how you're going to transmit wealth and teach your kids how to manage it. They will need be taught how not to be greedy, how to be patient instead of impulsive, how to play the long game, how to hedge their bets. They will need to build on whatever cognitive skills have been handed down to them, and apply themselves with decent work ethic to respectable careers, no matter what fortunes you transmit, even at an early age.

Ask yourself the right questions, instead of faux-complaining about a competition your kids may or may not need to be part of.

This is one of the smartest things I’ve seen written on dcum in a long time.

Agreed, that was well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could move.

Not needed. Many of us here are not hyper competitive at all. OP obviously is on those competitive people, or she would not be asking this question.

[Anonymous]

Pp again. I just encourage my kids to do their best. They are rarely the best but they usually come up on top in some areas. I let them explore new interests and support them. I don’t put much pressure on them. They put enough pressure on themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I went to top colleges and ivy grad schools. We now have a seven figure HHI and live in McLean. Many kids at our kids’ school have parents who attended ivy schools and/or were strong athletes. I have two kids in AAP and one kid currently in first grade. I expect youngest to also get into AAP. My kids are surrounded by high achieving kids and parents and my kids just know this as normal everyday life.

Neither DH nor I attended top colleges. Our grad degrees checked boxes for our employers and that's it. We do not have a 7 figure HHI. All 3 of my kids are in AAP. So do I get bragging rights too?

I am answering OP about living in a competitive UMC area. Dh and I are high achievers. My kids are high achievers. They have friends who are high achievers and have high achieving parents. You seem to care more about your lack of top college than I do. Maybe our kids play soccer or tennis together. I really wouldn’t care where you went to college.

How is this an answer to the OP? You’re literally the example of the hyper- competitive parents w/ hyper-competitive children OP is asking how to parent their own children around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I went to top colleges and ivy grad schools. We now have a seven figure HHI and live in McLean. Many kids at our kids’ school have parents who attended ivy schools and/or were strong athletes. I have two kids in AAP and one kid currently in first grade. I expect youngest to also get into AAP. My kids are surrounded by high achieving kids and parents and my kids just know this as normal everyday life.

Neither DH nor I attended top colleges. Our grad degrees checked boxes for our employers and that's it. We do not have a 7 figure HHI. All 3 of my kids are in AAP. So do I get bragging rights too?

I am answering OP about living in a competitive UMC area. Dh and I are high achievers. My kids are high achievers. They have friends who are high achievers and have high achieving parents. You seem to care more about your lack of top college than I do. Maybe our kids play soccer or tennis together. I really wouldn’t care where you went to college.

How is this an answer to the OP? You’re literally the example of the hyper- competitive parents w/ hyper-competitive children OP is asking how to parent their own children around.

Cokky

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I went to top colleges and ivy grad schools. We now have a seven figure HHI and live in McLean. Many kids at our kids’ school have parents who attended ivy schools and/or were strong athletes. I have two kids in AAP and one kid currently in first grade. I expect youngest to also get into AAP. My kids are surrounded by high achieving kids and parents and my kids just know this as normal everyday life.

Neither DH nor I attended top colleges. Our grad degrees checked boxes for our employers and that's it. We do not have a 7 figure HHI. All 3 of my kids are in AAP. So do I get bragging rights too?

I am answering OP about living in a competitive UMC area. Dh and I are high achievers. My kids are high achievers. They have friends who are high achievers and have high achieving parents. You seem to care more about your lack of top college than I do. Maybe our kids play soccer or tennis together. I really wouldn’t care where you went to college.

How is this an answer to the OP? You’re literally the example of the hyper- competitive parents w/ hyper-competitive children OP is asking how to parent their own children around.

I actually just answered. I said I don’t put much pressure on my kids and encourage them to try their best. It isn’t like I tell them to seek out high achieving friends. They seem to naturally have friends who are smart and excel at a lot of things like themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I went to top colleges and ivy grad schools. We now have a seven figure HHI and live in McLean. Many kids at our kids’ school have parents who attended ivy schools and/or were strong athletes. I have two kids in AAP and one kid currently in first grade. I expect youngest to also get into AAP. My kids are surrounded by high achieving kids and parents and my kids just know this as normal everyday life.

Neither DH nor I attended top colleges. Our grad degrees checked boxes for our employers and that's it. We do not have a 7 figure HHI. All 3 of my kids are in AAP. So do I get bragging rights too?

I am answering OP about living in a competitive UMC area. Dh and I are high achievers. My kids are high achievers. They have friends who are high achievers and have high achieving parents. You seem to care more about your lack of top college than I do. Maybe our kids play soccer or tennis together. I really wouldn’t care where you went to college.

How is this an answer to the OP? You’re literally the example of the hyper- competitive parents w/ hyper-competitive children OP is asking how to parent their own children around.

I actually just answered. I said I don’t put much pressure on my kids and encourage them to try their best. It isn’t like I tell them to seek out high achieving friends. They seem to naturally have friends who are smart and excel at a lot of things like themselves.

Helps to have silver spoon in mouth in McLean