Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am among those who don't get the sports obsession.
I do get playing sports and encouraging kids to play sports. And if a kid shows promise in a sport, or even just really likes it, supporting them in pursuing it. All normal. Sports are great.
But some of you talk about it like becoming an "elite athlete" is the only path to success. Most of my friends are very successful professionally-- lots of Ivy and equivalent grads, lawyers, consultants, etc. Many played sports in adolescence, almost none did so in college. I can think of a handful who did play in college, and only one *might* have been considered elite. That's it.
What they have in common is not athletic prowess but academic success. Great grades, genuine interest in learning and succeeding academically. Good test takers, voracious readers, interested in and engaged with the world. Sports/athletics are pretty beside the point. Some are athletic now, some aren't.
So if your goal is raising kids who are successful in life, I don't understand this fixation on sports. Again, I think it always makes sense to support and encourage a kid in an interest where they show promise, but that could be soccer or music or math or debate club. If your kid isn't that into sports or just isn't good enough to play at a high level, I don't think it really matters in terms of success.
Now, if your kid struggles with reading or math, is disinterested in school, etc? That's an issue. At least if your goal for them is professional success.
I can’t believe that this was written by someone parenting today.
Travel sports is by far the easiest and most fun way to limit screen time, make sure your dc is physicaly fit and give them positive opportunities to socialize.
To duplicate the experience of travel sports (at least for the under 13 set) you would have to set up multiple playdates a week, work out with your kids multiple days per week and develop an interest that both of you could talk and strategize about.
Even if you did all of those things you would miss out on the thrill of watching your child compete, struggle, and occasionally win. You would miss out on the community of parents who you learn from and in my case became some of my best friends.
But what you miss the most is the conversations with your child after games and in the hotel rooms during tournaments. Those moments give you a chance to talk about disappointments, defeats, difficult personal situations. Those moments are some of the best I’ve had as a dad.
I will say that athletic success can not be the expectation. There are too many variables- your kid’s athletic ability, his interest and competition. Also I don’t think it has to be sports but it does have to be something physical and on going. You might get similar results with dance or scouts.
Finally, in my experience raising your kids so that they have a project that you help them work on over the years is a great way to parent.
The bolded is just false. And this is nothing against travel sports or sports in general. If that's what your kid is into and you want to commit to it, have at it. But the idea that the easiest, best way to make sure your kid stays of screens, gets exercise, has friends, and has a good relationship with you is
travel sports is one of the most insane things I've ever heard, especially given how many families I know for whom travel sports means they never spend weekends together as a family, their kids can't participate in a lot of school-based activities, and younger siblings often wind up at the mercy of an older sibling's travel sport schedule.
I don't disagree with some of the other stuff you say, and I do think it's very, very worthwhile for kids to have dedicated activities that parents are invovled/interested in, whether that's scouting or sports or an artistic interest or something else. But the argument that travel sports is the best/easiest of all available options is not only narrow minded but just not born out by the average travel sport experience. There are good things about travel sports and negative things about it, and depending on the family, the bad can easily outweigh the good. It just depends on the kid, the family, the sport (and the team).
There's no magic bullet here. You have to actually talk to and get to know your kid, follow their lead a bit on what interests them (and what they are good at -- letting your kids gravitate towards stuff they have natural ability at can help a lot, and if that's not sports, trying to force them into sports isn't going to work). The attitude that travel sports are *the* solution is just super weird.
If not travel sports what is your suggestion? I think you are missing my point. I’m not saying that you can’t duplicate all the advantages of travel sports with other activities- I am simply stating that it’s far easier and has more fringe benefits than trying to piece it out on your own.
If cost is a factor I could get your concern but what other activities will let your kid get all the advantages I mentioned in my previous post. I can’t think of one.
I’ve raised 3 kids and at least in elementary school travel was easier and more fun than scouts, musicals, dance, piano and choir. And it was way more enjoyable than policing screen time.
PP here and I have personally found it way easier to take a more balanced approach to activities, especially in elementary school that have all the benefits you mention.
I personally have never found it hard to keep screen time low. We didn't get our kids tablets or phones in elementary school. They used our tablet if they needed it for school. We watched movies as a family. Kids didn't get daily screen time. My kids aren't into video games (they'll play them but they aren't into them). So this was just not an issue. I confess I don't understand why screen time is such a big thing because I found it really easy to limit screen time.
The easiest activities to sign my kids up for were either (1) through school, (2) local rec sports, or (3) studio/gym based sports that were close to home. For one kid this was school basketball paired with rec basketball and gymnastics, for the other this was year round ballet at a nearby studio paired with an after school dance club and doing the school musical. Spouse and I volunteered with activities for both kids, they made friends and had good bonding experiences, developed skills over time, and weren't on screens. It was cheaper and easier than travel sports. Notably, it kept weekends pretty free for family time. Ballet would have a couple recitals during the year that would be on the weekend, but we'd know months in advance and it was easy to plan around them. Basketball had some weekend tournaments but since it was through school and parks and rec, it was all local.
Both kids are physically fit and we're a very active family. We hike and kayak together and our vacations tend to have a lot of physical activity. It would be really hard for us to do that stuff with the frequency we do in travel sports.
Both kids are in MS now and both still do their main physical activity (basketball for one, ballet for the other) plus have gotten involved with other clubs through school. I think they have good attitudes about their extra-curriculars, in that they work hard while they are there but it's not their whole world. We've always told them that if it stops being fun, that's a sign we need to make a change.
The both get good grades and test above grade level, have lots of friends and seem to be in good mental health, and are just generally good kids. At no point have I felt we were missing out on not doing travel sports. They both did soccer in PK/K/1st but not travel and neither was a huge fan of it. I know there are travel basketball teams but the time commitment has never seemed worth it to my kid or us.
Zero regrets here. I think it's fine if others do travel sports but the idea that it's the best or easiest or most efficient way to keep kids active and social and off screens just sounds bizarre to me. It's expensive and time consuming and doesn't make sense for all or even most families. It's like arguing that competitive dance or intensive tutoring are the easiest and best ways to get kids arts exposure or keep them on track in school. It might make sense for you but it's definitely not universal.
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