How much effort towards your appearance does your spouse expect?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The expectations are high but they were openly communicated early on. So knew what the expectations are. They match with what I expect of myself. Therefore I don’t have an issue.

I’m curious. What were the expectations exactly and how were they communicated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The expectations are high but they were openly communicated early on. So knew what the expectations are. They match with what I expect of myself. Therefore I don’t have an issue.

I’m curious. What were the expectations exactly and how were they communicated?

I am picturing Nicole Kidman’s husband in Big Little Lies. Successful, controlling, anal-retentive with deep-seated contempt for women: no fat, no body hair, no big breasts, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.
If you want to live like this, totally fine! But please don't disparage women who feel differently.Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style."

I'm the person who wrote that and I've got the thickest hair of anyone I know in DC, and it falls below my shoulders. Get a good cut and style that doesn't take forever to do every other day. Learn how to use dry shampoo.

Cool. Not all of us have the same hair. No way my thick hair dries AND looks nice in 10 minutes.

I agree. He!!, I have thin hair and it takes longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.

The dry shampoo lady just proved the old adage that women dress up for other women, not for their spouses. She was the most critical person on the thread.

Whatever. Women dress up for men. Do you think a community made solely of women would regularly diet and use daily eyebrow pencils?
Do you know a lot of lesbians who do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.
If you want to live like this, totally fine! But please don't disparage women who feel differently.Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style."

I'm the person who wrote that and I've got the thickest hair of anyone I know in DC, and it falls below my shoulders. Get a good cut and style that doesn't take forever to do every other day. Learn how to use dry shampoo.

Cool. Not all of us have the same hair. No way my thick hair dries AND looks nice in 10 minutes.

I agree. He!!, I have thin hair and it takes longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.

The dry shampoo lady just proved the old adage that women dress up for other women, not for their spouses. She was the most critical person on the thread.

Whatever. Women dress up for men. Do you think a community made solely of women would regularly diet and use daily eyebrow pencils?
Do you know a lot of lesbians who do?

Dry shampoo poster dresses up to compete for men, I agree. She has the girl slighting you while pretending to “help.” Vibe. Okay tween, we see you.

And yeah I think a group of women are competitive enough to invent some kind of signaling for who is most attractive and “worthy.” Even if they are lesbians or amazons or whatever fictitious community you invent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.
If you want to live like this, totally fine! But please don't disparage women who feel differently.Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style."

I'm the person who wrote that and I've got the thickest hair of anyone I know in DC, and it falls below my shoulders. Get a good cut and style that doesn't take forever to do every other day. Learn how to use dry shampoo.

Cool. Not all of us have the same hair. No way my thick hair dries AND looks nice in 10 minutes.

I agree. He!!, I have thin hair and it takes longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.

The dry shampoo lady just proved the old adage that women dress up for other women, not for their spouses. She was the most critical person on the thread.

Whatever. Women dress up for men. Do you think a community made solely of women would regularly diet and use daily eyebrow pencils?
Do you know a lot of lesbians who do?

I attend many professional events for women only. They are dressed and primped to the max, even more so than the same event when everyone attends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.
If you want to live like this, totally fine! But please don't disparage women who feel differently.Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style."

I'm the person who wrote that and I've got the thickest hair of anyone I know in DC, and it falls below my shoulders. Get a good cut and style that doesn't take forever to do every other day. Learn how to use dry shampoo.

Cool. Not all of us have the same hair. No way my thick hair dries AND looks nice in 10 minutes.

I agree. He!!, I have thin hair and it takes longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.

The dry shampoo lady just proved the old adage that women dress up for other women, not for their spouses. She was the most critical person on the thread.

Whatever. Women dress up for men. Do you think a community made solely of women would regularly diet and use daily eyebrow pencils?
Do you know a lot of lesbians who do?

I attend many professional events for women only. They are dressed and primped to the max, even more so than the same event when everyone attends.

Really?
What kind of profession?
I played sports in college and have been to a women in medicine conference and a knitting conference, and no one was dressed up at any of it.
I’m kind of fascinated by this other world that I don’t have contact with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.
If you want to live like this, totally fine! But please don't disparage women who feel differently.Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style."

I'm the person who wrote that and I've got the thickest hair of anyone I know in DC, and it falls below my shoulders. Get a good cut and style that doesn't take forever to do every other day. Learn how to use dry shampoo.

Cool. Not all of us have the same hair. No way my thick hair dries AND looks nice in 10 minutes.

I agree. He!!, I have thin hair and it takes longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.

The dry shampoo lady just proved the old adage that women dress up for other women, not for their spouses. She was the most critical person on the thread.

Whatever. Women dress up for men. Do you think a community made solely of women would regularly diet and use daily eyebrow pencils?
Do you know a lot of lesbians who do?

I attend many professional events for women only. They are dressed and primped to the max, even more so than the same event when everyone attends.

Really?
What kind of profession?
I played sports in college and have been to a women in medicine conference and a knitting conference, and no one was dressed up at any of it.
I’m kind of fascinated by this other world that I don’t have contact with.

I’m not surprised by medicine and obviously knitting. Most of my doctor friends don’t dress up despite any old stereotypes.

Think law/finance but even when there STEM types

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ExW letting herself go was one of a number of symptoms of us drifting further and further apart. Atypical of most men, I sought marriage counseling for us; she wasn’t interested. Eventually, I left and later remarried. To my knowledge, she’s never dated since that time. Perhaps she just wanted to be on her own.

If my DH leaves me I’m going to live in a cottage by the edge of the woods doing crafts and cooking and other witch things in perfect bliss with some extra weight tucked into long cotton dresses.

+1 Crones unite!

You guys should really join this wonderful FB group called the Dull Women's Club. I hesitate to post it on DCUM lest that forum turn toxic but I think it's pretty well moderated. It really is a bunch of women living happily by the edge of the woods with dogs and books.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.
If you want to live like this, totally fine! But please don't disparage women who feel differently.Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style."

I'm the person who wrote that and I've got the thickest hair of anyone I know in DC, and it falls below my shoulders. Get a good cut and style that doesn't take forever to do every other day. Learn how to use dry shampoo.

Cool. Not all of us have the same hair. No way my thick hair dries AND looks nice in 10 minutes.

I agree. He!!, I have thin hair and it takes longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.

The dry shampoo lady just proved the old adage that women dress up for other women, not for their spouses. She was the most critical person on the thread.

Whatever. Women dress up for men. Do you think a community made solely of women would regularly diet and use daily eyebrow pencils?
Do you know a lot of lesbians who do?

I attend many professional events for women only. They are dressed and primped to the max, even more so than the same event when everyone attends.

Really?
What kind of profession?
I played sports in college and have been to a women in medicine conference and a knitting conference, and no one was dressed up at any of it.
I’m kind of fascinated by this other world that I don’t have contact with.

I’m not surprised by medicine and obviously knitting. Most of my doctor friends don’t dress up despite any old stereotypes.

Think law/finance but even when there STEM types

Why are you being weird about this? How many all female conferences have you been to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.
If you want to live like this, totally fine! But please don't disparage women who feel differently.Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style."

I'm the person who wrote that and I've got the thickest hair of anyone I know in DC, and it falls below my shoulders. Get a good cut and style that doesn't take forever to do every other day. Learn how to use dry shampoo.

Cool. Not all of us have the same hair. No way my thick hair dries AND looks nice in 10 minutes.

I agree. He!!, I have thin hair and it takes longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.

The dry shampoo lady just proved the old adage that women dress up for other women, not for their spouses. She was the most critical person on the thread.

Whatever. Women dress up for men. Do you think a community made solely of women would regularly diet and use daily eyebrow pencils?
Do you know a lot of lesbians who do?

I attend many professional events for women only. They are dressed and primped to the max, even more so than the same event when everyone attends.

Really?
What kind of profession?
I played sports in college and have been to a women in medicine conference and a knitting conference, and no one was dressed up at any of it.
I’m kind of fascinated by this other world that I don’t have contact with.

I’m not surprised by medicine and obviously knitting. Most of my doctor friends don’t dress up despite any old stereotypes.

Think law/finance but even when there STEM types

I mean, I’m a doctor. I went to this conference with my doctor friends and I go to other conferences with doctors.

Women were considerably less dressed up when there were no men around. And much, much less dressed up than when we go out with our husbands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.
If you want to live like this, totally fine! But please don't disparage women who feel differently.Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style."

I'm the person who wrote that and I've got the thickest hair of anyone I know in DC, and it falls below my shoulders. Get a good cut and style that doesn't take forever to do every other day. Learn how to use dry shampoo.

Cool. Not all of us have the same hair. No way my thick hair dries AND looks nice in 10 minutes.

I agree. He!!, I have thin hair and it takes longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.

The dry shampoo lady just proved the old adage that women dress up for other women, not for their spouses. She was the most critical person on the thread.

Whatever. Women dress up for men. Do you think a community made solely of women would regularly diet and use daily eyebrow pencils?
Do you know a lot of lesbians who do?

Yes, women are very competitive with each other about looks. Think of moms going on a girls night out. They’ll dress up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.
If you want to live like this, totally fine! But please don't disparage women who feel differently.Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style."

I'm the person who wrote that and I've got the thickest hair of anyone I know in DC, and it falls below my shoulders. Get a good cut and style that doesn't take forever to do every other day. Learn how to use dry shampoo.

Cool. Not all of us have the same hair. No way my thick hair dries AND looks nice in 10 minutes.

I agree. He!!, I have thin hair and it takes longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.

The dry shampoo lady just proved the old adage that women dress up for other women, not for their spouses. She was the most critical person on the thread.

Whatever. Women dress up for men. Do you think a community made solely of women would regularly diet and use daily eyebrow pencils?
Do you know a lot of lesbians who do?

I attend many professional events for women only. They are dressed and primped to the max, even more so than the same event when everyone attends.

Really?
What kind of profession?
I played sports in college and have been to a women in medicine conference and a knitting conference, and no one was dressed up at any of it.
I’m kind of fascinated by this other world that I don’t have contact with.

I’m not surprised by medicine and obviously knitting. Most of my doctor friends don’t dress up despite any old stereotypes.

Think law/finance but even when there STEM types

I mean, I’m a doctor. I went to this conference with my doctor friends and I go to other conferences with doctors.

Women were considerably less dressed up when there were no men around. And much, much less dressed up than when we go out with our husbands.

We are thinking of different conferences then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.
If you want to live like this, totally fine! But please don't disparage women who feel differently.Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style."

I'm the person who wrote that and I've got the thickest hair of anyone I know in DC, and it falls below my shoulders. Get a good cut and style that doesn't take forever to do every other day. Learn how to use dry shampoo.

Cool. Not all of us have the same hair. No way my thick hair dries AND looks nice in 10 minutes.

I agree. He!!, I have thin hair and it takes longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.

The dry shampoo lady just proved the old adage that women dress up for other women, not for their spouses. She was the most critical person on the thread.

Whatever. Women dress up for men. Do you think a community made solely of women would regularly diet and use daily eyebrow pencils?
Do you know a lot of lesbians who do?

Yes, women are very competitive with each other about looks. Think of moms going on a girls night out. They’ll dress up.

Another great example!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.
If you want to live like this, totally fine! But please don't disparage women who feel differently.Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style."

I'm the person who wrote that and I've got the thickest hair of anyone I know in DC, and it falls below my shoulders. Get a good cut and style that doesn't take forever to do every other day. Learn how to use dry shampoo.

Cool. Not all of us have the same hair. No way my thick hair dries AND looks nice in 10 minutes.

I agree. He!!, I have thin hair and it takes longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.

The dry shampoo lady just proved the old adage that women dress up for other women, not for their spouses. She was the most critical person on the thread.

Whatever. Women dress up for men. Do you think a community made solely of women would regularly diet and use daily eyebrow pencils?
Do you know a lot of lesbians who do?

I attend many professional events for women only. They are dressed and primped to the max, even more so than the same event when everyone attends.

Really?
What kind of profession?
I played sports in college and have been to a women in medicine conference and a knitting conference, and no one was dressed up at any of it.
I’m kind of fascinated by this other world that I don’t have contact with.

I’m not surprised by medicine and obviously knitting. Most of my doctor friends don’t dress up despite any old stereotypes.

Think law/finance but even when there STEM types

Why are you being weird about this? How many all female conferences have you been to?

Why am I not posting specific professional information on DCUM? Is that really a question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.
If you want to live like this, totally fine! But please don't disparage women who feel differently.Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style."

I'm the person who wrote that and I've got the thickest hair of anyone I know in DC, and it falls below my shoulders. Get a good cut and style that doesn't take forever to do every other day. Learn how to use dry shampoo.

Cool. Not all of us have the same hair. No way my thick hair dries AND looks nice in 10 minutes.

I agree. He!!, I have thin hair and it takes longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.

The dry shampoo lady just proved the old adage that women dress up for other women, not for their spouses. She was the most critical person on the thread.

Whatever. Women dress up for men. Do you think a community made solely of women would regularly diet and use daily eyebrow pencils?
Do you know a lot of lesbians who do?

A community made solely of women would just grind to a complete halt because no one would be around to kill spiders.