Invitations haven't been sent yet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you so pressed to go to this wedding?

It's my neice...?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds ridiculously immature

Did you find out about a close relative's wedding via mailed invitation only? That's normal?

Dp but no, you wanting to know the wedding date so you can plan is not what shows that you’re immature. It’s the way you wrote the post, it’s the drama you so clearly love, it’s how you already said you’re just going to ask your niece for the date so essentially none of this discussion matters bc as soon as you ask your niece your issue will be resolved so this whole thread is pointless, it’s the fact that you have to refute and argue w everyone who responds to this thread w more pieces of the story.

Your sister seems rude and inconsiderate but you seem pretty unpleasant and dramatic and petty.

Let me ask you, if you needed to fly internationally or a very far distance and you knew for a fact that the plane tickets will start skyrocketing x4 for every person in your family, would you not want to buy tickets?

That said, I've had 0 interactions with sibling beyond my first question and understood. I'm not reaching out to other relatives that would likely cause drama. I'm only here, venting. That's the opposite of someone that causes drama. If I wanted to cause drama I'd start telling anyone that would listen how weird my sibling is and not care about their reputation.

[Anonymous]

Why didn't they send a save the date? Those usually go out 1 year to a 90 days before the wedding especially with out of town guests. Then the invite before 6 weeks.

I would google them on the knot website too.

If I were you OP, I wouldn't worry about it. Your niece knows where you live. If you receove an invite and airfare has increased simply send good wishes. Also don't let them know its bc airfare increased. Just say it doesn't work out financially or logistically. I wouldn't send a gift.

You and your sister both seem difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds ridiculously immature

Did you find out about a close relative's wedding via mailed invitation only? That's normal?

Dp but no, you wanting to know the wedding date so you can plan is not what shows that you’re immature. It’s the way you wrote the post, it’s the drama you so clearly love, it’s how you already said you’re just going to ask your niece for the date so essentially none of this discussion matters bc as soon as you ask your niece your issue will be resolved so this whole thread is pointless, it’s the fact that you have to refute and argue w everyone who responds to this thread w more pieces of the story.

Your sister seems rude and inconsiderate but you seem pretty unpleasant and dramatic and petty.

Let me ask you, if you needed to fly internationally or a very far distance and you knew for a fact that the plane tickets will start skyrocketing x4 for every person in your family, would you not want to buy tickets?

That said, I've had 0 interactions with sibling beyond my first question and understood. I'm not reaching out to other relatives that would likely cause drama. I'm only here, venting. That's the opposite of someone that causes drama. If I wanted to cause drama I'd start telling anyone that would listen how weird my sibling is and not care about their reputation.

You just proved the PPs point. You are the problem and a PITA. You’ve wasted everyone’s time here when you knew from the start that you were going to solve the problem by calling the niece tomorrow. You just want to argue with everyone over NOTHING

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't they send a save the date? Those usually go out 1 year to a 90 days before the wedding especially with out of town guests. Then the invite before 6 weeks.

I would google them on the knot website too.

If I were you OP, I wouldn't worry about it. Your niece knows where you live. If you receove an invite and airfare has increased simply send good wishes. Also don't let them know its bc airfare increased. Just say it doesn't work out financially or logistically. I wouldn't send a gift.

You and your sister both seem difficult.

Their knot website is empty. She doesn't know where I live, unfortunately. That's why they had to ask for my address from my parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds ridiculously immature

Did you find out about a close relative's wedding via mailed invitation only? That's normal?

Dp but no, you wanting to know the wedding date so you can plan is not what shows that you’re immature. It’s the way you wrote the post, it’s the drama you so clearly love, it’s how you already said you’re just going to ask your niece for the date so essentially none of this discussion matters bc as soon as you ask your niece your issue will be resolved so this whole thread is pointless, it’s the fact that you have to refute and argue w everyone who responds to this thread w more pieces of the story.

Your sister seems rude and inconsiderate but you seem pretty unpleasant and dramatic and petty.

Let me ask you, if you needed to fly internationally or a very far distance and you knew for a fact that the plane tickets will start skyrocketing x4 for every person in your family, would you not want to buy tickets?

That said, I've had 0 interactions with sibling beyond my first question and understood. I'm not reaching out to other relatives that would likely cause drama. I'm only here, venting. That's the opposite of someone that causes drama. If I wanted to cause drama I'd start telling anyone that would listen how weird my sibling is and not care about their reputation.

You just proved the PPs point. You are the problem and a PITA. You’ve wasted everyone’s time here when you knew from the start that you were going to solve the problem by calling the niece tomorrow. You just want to argue with everyone over NOTHING

What are you doing on DCUM that is so productive that I've wasted your time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You're way out of line, OP. If they're not ready to confirm a date, it means you might be out thousands if the date changes, unless you purchase a refundable/movable ticket.

Also, a wedding is a complex event to organize. Your niece has a million things to think about, and as a general rule, brides aren't thinking of one aunt's financial situation and how many times she's flown to visit. If she thinks of you at all, it's perhaps in the opposite way - that you seem so wealthy that travel for you will pose no problem. How is she supposed to read your mind? How is your sister supposed to read your mind? How can anyone accommodate you if you don't explain?

I said that exactly, hey looking to see if the dates are solid because the flight prices are good.

No. You did not explain that you've been tightening your belt and making sacrifices to visit them regularly for years, and that buying tickets to this wedding closer to the date would be a financial burden. Because this is how you've described it to us: that it's a long-festering resentment that your family has not reciprocated your attentions for a long while, and you feel as if you're always the one spending the money and making the effort, so now it's the last straw.

And I'll guess why. It's because it's not a real financial burden, you just like to bean count.
If you have a fit now, you'll be seen as the aunt who likes to draw attention to herself when it's the bride's time to shine.

+1. Boom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You're way out of line, OP. If they're not ready to confirm a date, it means you might be out thousands if the date changes, unless you purchase a refundable/movable ticket.

Also, a wedding is a complex event to organize. Your niece has a million things to think about, and as a general rule, brides aren't thinking of one aunt's financial situation and how many times she's flown to visit. If she thinks of you at all, it's perhaps in the opposite way - that you seem so wealthy that travel for you will pose no problem. How is she supposed to read your mind? How is your sister supposed to read your mind? How can anyone accommodate you if you don't explain?

I said that exactly, hey looking to see if the dates are solid because the flight prices are good.

No. You did not explain that you've been tightening your belt and making sacrifices to visit them regularly for years, and that buying tickets to this wedding closer to the date would be a financial burden. Because this is how you've described it to us: that it's a long-festering resentment that your family has not reciprocated your attentions for a long while, and you feel as if you're always the one spending the money and making the effort, so now it's the last straw.

And I'll guess why. It's because it's not a real financial burden, you just like to bean count.
If you have a fit now, you'll be seen as the aunt who likes to draw attention to herself when it's the bride's time to shine.

+1. Boom

There isn't any bean counting, in fact there is nothing to count at all. We're not talking my sibling has visited fewer times. My sibling has never visited not even for my wedding, never. No beans to count and I fully accept that about our relationship. Doesn't mean it doesn't sting that my sibling cares that little for me.

Going to my niece's wedding and not spending an arm and a leg isn't an unreasonable ask. It feels punitive, like, hey I get that you'd like to book airfare, but I want to make sure you pay as much as possible for it and just not answer your question.

[Anonymous]

You know that weddings are complicated. You sister, as a mother of the bride or groom, may be involved or may be shut out. It could be complicated…as you know if you’ve read a dcum post or 2.

Ask you niece tmrw, I’m sure she’ll have better info. Your sister may be really frustrated about being shut out of the planning or something, try to give her a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You're way out of line, OP. If they're not ready to confirm a date, it means you might be out thousands if the date changes, unless you purchase a refundable/movable ticket.

Also, a wedding is a complex event to organize. Your niece has a million things to think about, and as a general rule, brides aren't thinking of one aunt's financial situation and how many times she's flown to visit. If she thinks of you at all, it's perhaps in the opposite way - that you seem so wealthy that travel for you will pose no problem. How is she supposed to read your mind? How is your sister supposed to read your mind? How can anyone accommodate you if you don't explain?

I said that exactly, hey looking to see if the dates are solid because the flight prices are good.

No. You did not explain that you've been tightening your belt and making sacrifices to visit them regularly for years, and that buying tickets to this wedding closer to the date would be a financial burden. Because this is how you've described it to us: that it's a long-festering resentment that your family has not reciprocated your attentions for a long while, and you feel as if you're always the one spending the money and making the effort, so now it's the last straw.

And I'll guess why. It's because it's not a real financial burden, you just like to bean count.
If you have a fit now, you'll be seen as the aunt who likes to draw attention to herself when it's the bride's time to shine.

+1. Boom

There isn't any bean counting, in fact there is nothing to count at all. We're not talking my sibling has visited fewer times. My sibling has never visited not even for my wedding, never. No beans to count and I fully accept that about our relationship. Doesn't mean it doesn't sting that my sibling cares that little for me.

Going to my niece's wedding and not spending an arm and a leg isn't an unreasonable ask. It feels punitive, like, hey I get that you'd like to book airfare, but I want to make sure you pay as much as possible for it and just not answer your question.

Ask your niece.

[Anonymous]

So your parents know the date
You know the date via your parents alleged “rumor”
So …. You decide to pick a fight with your sister (whom you’ve gone on and on about personal slights utterly irrelevant to this wedding) about the date you already have
And complain here at length
When you could have
Just booked the flights
Or texted your niece
Right
Thanks for wasting our tiney

[Anonymous]

Time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So your parents know the date
You know the date via your parents alleged “rumor”
So …. You decide to pick a fight with your sister (whom you’ve gone on and on about personal slights utterly irrelevant to this wedding) about the date you already have
And complain here at length
When you could have
Just booked the flights
Or texted your niece
Right
Thanks for wasting our tiney

There was no fight, just a question and a non-answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You're way out of line, OP. If they're not ready to confirm a date, it means you might be out thousands if the date changes, unless you purchase a refundable/movable ticket.

Also, a wedding is a complex event to organize. Your niece has a million things to think about, and as a general rule, brides aren't thinking of one aunt's financial situationand how many times she's flown to visit. If she thinks of you at all, it's perhaps in the opposite way - that you seem so wealthy that travel for you will pose no problem. How is she supposed to read your mind? How is your sister supposed to read your mind? How can anyone accommodate you if you don't explain?

Italics is the cold, hard, generalized truth. Brides don’t think about anything but themselves; in addition to that the Bolded is the truth in regards to this post

Bold

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So your parents know the date
You know the date via your parents alleged “rumor”
So …. You decide to pick a fight with your sister (whom you’ve gone on and on about personal slights utterly irrelevant to this wedding) about the date you already have
And complain here at length
When you could have
Just booked the flights
Or texted your niece
Right
Thanks for wasting our tiney

There was no fight, just a question and a non-answer.

But you actually never told us your question … just the alleged response. Considering how combative you are, and how twisted your reasoning is, I no longer believe anything you are writing. AND did not correct me above …. SO you indeed know the date as do your own parents. So why are you even bothering your sister with the alleged question … which you haven’t told us? You don’t need to. And you don’t need to confirm with niece! You already have all the info you need. Just book the tickets. Or better yet … don’t go at all. And with that I am leaving this madness