Invitations haven't been sent yet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clearly she does not want you to attend.
Stay home.

+1. This entire thread is about OP maneuvering her way into a wedding where she is not welcome. Her family is not playing ball so she’s crowdsourcing here.

You have quite the imagination.

[Anonymous]

OP, just get yourself a ticket for now. If the invite arrives and is only to you, you're set. If it invites spouse and kids you can get them tickets if they are reasonably priced. If not, just you go to the wedding. Decline the others. If asked about it, just say "by the time the wedding date was confirmed, we had missed the sale back at the end of February. The trip for all of us became cost prohibitive. Oh well"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^my thinking is that if you and your niece are not close enough for her to have your email address or phone number to contact you, then your presence at her wedding can’t be that important to her (again, to HER - not talking about you here), or might even cause stress since she obviously knows that you don’t like her mom. In that case, a very generous wedding present with a thoughtfully written, sincere card is probably the kind of “support” that she would truly want from you, especially if the couple are just starting out and would be grateful for help setting up a household. Just do that instead.

Yes, this. OP, your family sounds very messed up, but you are making this problem so much bigger than it should be.
Either
1) contact your niece and TALK to her. Does she want you to come? Does it make sense?
2) based on the conversation, make plans. Either don't go and send gift, buy tickets or wait.

And please, write another thread about the bigger issue that your family and you don't get along generally and haven't for many many years (at least as far back as your own wedding) and how this drives you nuts. Don't let your distress make you crazy here.

No no no, having been in the situation please don’t pull the poor bride further into your crazy family dynamics/estrangements and confront her to ask if you are invited. Chances are she would far prefer you didn’t come to avoid further drama but doesn’t want to tell you to your face.

Pp here. Point taken. If they don’t ever talk, so this would be weird, op should NOT expect a wedding invitation and move along and send a gift if she wants to be supportive.