My Fiance told me yesterday that he wants me to move out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why would you buy a house together if not married

Because we were in what I thought at the time was a long term loving relationship and planning to get married?

When was the wedding date? He might be getting cold feet.

Nov 2023

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any kind of written co-ownership agreement?

There is no written co- ownership agreement in place.

you are both on the deed. nothing more is required. One person buys the other out or you sell and both move. That's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:why would you buy a house together if not married

Not OP but marriage is irrelevant. They are both on the deed. Being married or not does not matter. The process of ending it is the same if they were married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any kind of written co-ownership agreement?

There is no written co- ownership agreement in place.

Call a lawyer today. What area are you in?

I'm in Virginia.

I would see a real estate attorney. You are not married. This is not a divorce. This is a property dispute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t panic over the O2 sensor, it won’t disable your car - you can definitely wait a few weeks if that fits your budget better. I speak from long experience with O2 sensors and what mechanics have always told me.

I caution you against agreeing to his new terms for paying utilities, wherein you pay up front and he’s going to pay you back (sure, right). You need to demand that he fork over the cash the day the bill is paid, or that he provide the card he’s been providing all along. There is no reason for him to be changing that situation except that he’s getting ready to cheat you. Is his name on the utilities, or just yours?

Please, embrace your inner cynic and second guess everything he says or does. Be suspicious. He has just utterly betrayed you and warrants no benefit of the doubt and no continued loyalty from you, he is a snake in the grass and you must operate from the expectation that he is looking to strike at every turn.

Thank you, based on my conversation with the oreillys guy I got the same idea that the 02 sensor is not a need to change today or else type of situation.

When he said he wouldn't give me his credit card to pay his portion of the utilities I didn't argue. I just said ok as to not further the conflict. I agree, I mean when I log in to pay his card information is already saved as a payment method anyways. Obviously I'm not going to charge his half to his card since he doesn't agree to it but this is all just so irritating. Mind you our bills are now a couple weeks late because Ive been asking for the card for a couple weeks and he's been saying 'yes, I will give you the card' but he never did. The electric is in my name only and the water/sewer is in both names since the county requires that it be in the names of both homeowners.

Yes, I agree that I can no longer trust his words or actions. I've have been in constant prayer for God to give me the strength to not stoop to his level and guide my actions so as to not meet his mentality with an eye for an eye because honestly that's just not the kind of person that I am. Am I hurt? Yes. Am I angry? Yes. Am I sad about the life we were building an the future plans that we made? Yes.

But I'm just so glad that the truth has been revealed now before I waste any more time on him. How does that saying go...fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t panic over the O2 sensor, it won’t disable your car - you can definitely wait a few weeks if that fits your budget better. I speak from long experience with O2 sensors and what mechanics have always told me.

I caution you against agreeing to his new terms for paying utilities, wherein you pay up front and he’s going to pay you back (sure, right). You need to demand that he fork over the cash the day the bill is paid, or that he provide the card he’s been providing all along. There is no reason for him to be changing that situation except that he’s getting ready to cheat you. Is his name on the utilities, or just yours?

Please, embrace your inner cynic and second guess everything he says or does. Be suspicious. He has just utterly betrayed you and warrants no benefit of the doubt and no continued loyalty from you, he is a snake in the grass and you must operate from the expectation that he is looking to strike at every turn.

Thank you, based on my conversation with the oreillys guy I got the same idea that the 02 sensor is not a need to change today or else type of situation.

When he said he wouldn't give me his credit card to pay his portion of the utilities I didn't argue. I just said ok as to not further the conflict. I agree, I mean when I log in to pay his card information is already saved as a payment method anyways. Obviously I'm not going to charge his half to his card since he doesn't agree to it but this is all just so irritating. Mind you our bills are now a couple weeks late because Ive been asking for the card for a couple weeks and he's been saying 'yes, I will give you the card' but he never did. The electric is in my name only and the water/sewer is in both names since the county requires that it be in the names of both homeowners.

Yes, I agree that I can no longer trust his words or actions. I've have been in constant prayer for God to give me the strength to not stoop to his level and guide my actions so as to not meet his mentality with an eye for an eye because honestly that's just not the kind of person that I am. Am I hurt? Yes. Am I angry? Yes. Am I sad about the life we were building an the future plans that we made? Yes.

But I'm just so glad that the truth has been revealed now before I waste any more time on him. How does that saying go...fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me

I mean, ya. You need to move into problem solving mode. List the house and split whatever little equity you have. Find a rental that you can afford. Your job now is to protect your kids. Dealing with him in the interim needs to be unemotional. Stop focusing on right v wrong or whatever and just protect your kids and your finances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where do the kids live right now?

The kid's dad and I share 50/50 custody. So, they are with me half of the time and with him half of the time.

Their dad's lease just ended on 7/30 and his new place isn't available until 8/20 so he has been out of state temporarily staying with family while the kids have been with me since 7/30 so that they could start school and have some stability while their dad was moving out of the old place and into his new place.

And the reason comes out. Your boyfriend doesn't want your kids full time. This is about the children.

[Anonymous]

OP - see if your lender will let you do an assumption. This way you keep your interest rate and you just assume the loan at it's current cost and your ex will be removed.

[Anonymous]

If he wants to sell the house, let him take care of initiating that. And in any event he can't make that decision unilaterally. I would sit back and do nothing. He can't force your hand.

My only concern is that I don't want him to hurt you or the kids. Men can become vengeful when they don't get what they want and when a woman is in the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's definitely seeing someone. Is that how his prior marriage ended? Cheating?

Blending homes/kids without being married, buying a home together without being married is crazy.

Disagree. Up thread someone nailed it: OP has her kids full time, and her fiancée just isn’t that into it anymore.

Just move on OP.

[Anonymous]

Op, does your ex/kids’ dad have a place in the same school district? Maybe they could qualify via that, if there are cheaper places to move nearby.

But yeah. Don’t move out. And send that email about utilities. And tell him he needs to pay half. Don’t pay the whole thing again unless he gives you the money for it first. Then you pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - see if your lender will let you do an assumption. This way you keep your interest rate and you just assume the loan at it's current cost and your ex will be removed.

Or have him take over the mortgage and buy her out, but only after she has arranged alternative living space in the community. A too big house may be more of a problem than it’s worth in the medium term. If she gets cash out of the house, she can buy a townhome with a bigger down payment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, does your ex/kids’ dad have a place in the same school district? Maybe they could qualify via that, if there are cheaper places to move nearby.

But yeah. Don’t move out. And send that email about utilities. And tell him he needs to pay half. Don’t pay the whole thing again unless he gives you the money for it first. Then you pay.

No, his new place is in a different school district.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:why would you buy a house together if not married

NP. It’s 2023. Many people do this.

[Anonymous]

Wait, you stayed with this guy for seven years before getting engaged? Did you issue a marriage ultimatum? And why on earth would you do this to your kids. Women are so f g stupid.