My Fiance told me yesterday that he wants me to move out

[Anonymous]

This "Dismissive Avoidant" stuff is a lot of nonsense and doesn't matter either way because this man is done with you and the relationship. The way forward is to move on with your kids and your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why would you buy a house together if not married

NP. It’s 2023. Many people do this.

That doesn't mean it is the smart thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why would you buy a house together if not married

NP. It’s 2023. Many people do this.

Stupid and they deserve it

[Anonymous]

OP: Have you ever heard the phrase "7 year itch" ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why would you buy a house together if not married

Because we were in what I thought at the time was a long term loving relationship and planning to get married?

No, you weren't . Not for 9 years. He was getting easy sex and putting up with your children. You should have said no cohabitation until you were married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: Have you ever heard the phrase "7 year itch" ?

Yes, I've heard of it before. Could be what's going on or not. Doesn't really matter though. He's made it clear that he doesn't want the relationship anymore.

He is so cold and distant and has had such a nasty disposition ever since I told him he has no right to kick me out of the house.

I don't deserve to be treated like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: Have you ever heard the phrase "7 year itch" ?

Yes, I've heard of it before. Could be what's going on or not. Doesn't really matter though. He's made it clear that he doesn't want the relationship anymore.

He is so cold and distant and has had such a nasty disposition ever since I told him he has no right to kick me out of the house.

I don't deserve to be treated like this.

Nine years and you didn't know this about him? I don't believe it. This is how he deals with confrontation. You've seen it before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: Have you ever heard the phrase "7 year itch" ?

Yes, I've heard of it before. Could be what's going on or not. Doesn't really matter though. He's made it clear that he doesn't want the relationship anymore.

He is so cold and distant and has had such a nasty disposition ever since I told him he has no right to kick me out of the house.

I don't deserve to be treated like this.

Put on your armor and move on. Cold and distant is much better than inflamed and worse.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would NOT be fronting ANY money for him for utilities or anything else unless you consider it a gift and know you will never see it again. Stop throwing good money after bad, esp when you have children to support.

Stop playing armchair Oprah with this loser. Men act like this when they are having an affair.

I'd chalk this up to being a VERY drawn out lesson you still need to learn from. Maybe stay single or at least do no cohabit until your kids are grown. You wasted a LOT of time on this guy and it is going to cost you financially and cause chaos for your kids who likely will need to change schools, again. Wise up, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Send an email documenting the utility situation for this month:

Dear John,
Per our conversation this morning, I will pay the utility bills this month, and you will reimburse me for your half by August 31.

The utility bills are as follows:

Electricity (paid [date])
Gas (paid [date])
Etc…

Your half is $XX.

Thanks,
Taylor

Even better, stick to the prior method of payment where 1/2 goes on his credit card.

OP, with his bad credit history and recent behavior DO NOT advance money for this loser. You need that money for your CHILDREN and are not likely to see it again. Come on, wise up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:why would you buy a house together if not married

Meh. People do it all the time. It's 2023, fewer and fewer couples are getting married at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since you said you easily qualified to be the only one on the mortgage I assume that means you can easily afford the house by yourself. Buy him out as a way to keep your kid's lives as stable as possible. Do not let him call the shots on this one. Get a lawyer if he fights you.

I suggest you stop trying to psychoanalyze him and identify his personality type, it's pointless at this time since he has made it obvious that he's ready to dump you. He's probably got another woman but that doesn't even matter at this point. It's a waste of time trying to figure him out when your kids need you to focus entirely on what will be best for them and your family's future. Lean on whatever support people you have, family, close friends, whoever.

This. What's the use in "diagnosing" him? Why are you hung up on that? It's pointless and a waste of your energy. Focus on your CHILDREN. YOUR CHILDREN. YOUR CHILDREN. That's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Send an email documenting the utility situation for this month:

Dear John,
Per our conversation this morning, I will pay the utility bills this month, and you will reimburse me for your half by August 31.

The utility bills are as follows:

Electricity (paid [date])
Gas (paid [date])
Etc…

Your half is $XX.

Thanks,
Taylor

Even better, stick to the prior method of payment where 1/2 goes on his credit card.

OP, with his bad credit history and recent behavior DO NOT advance money for this loser. You need that money for your CHILDREN and are not likely to see it again. Come on, wise up.

OBVIOUSLY!!! OP should just worry about her own credit, kids and housing. She should assume the absolute WORST from this loser (that he's going to destroy your credit, not pay any bills, not pay the mortgage, etc) and proceed accordingly. Anything better than the worst case scenario that you need to plan for is a windfall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why would you buy a house together if not married

Because we were in what I thought at the time was a long term loving relationship and planning to get married?

When was the wedding date? He might be getting cold feet.

Nov 2023

I'm sorry, OP, this all sucks. That said, you dodged a bullet with this guy. I like the analogy of a snake looking to strike/cheat you at every turn, keep that in the forefront of your mind. Are your kids close to him or his children if you have lived together for 3 years? How are they coping with the status quo?

[Anonymous]

Do not, under any circumstances, move a man you're not married to into a house with your minor children.