Soon to be 18 Senior refuses to practice driving

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even a college in the Boston suburbs will run a shuttle to the metro, airport, and into Boston. It's really such a great place for car-free living!

With all the things a person starting college has to juggle, you don't want him to have to hassle with a car, parking, shoveling snow off it, and of course people asking him for rides all the dang time. Focus on enjoying your time with your son, this is so super duper not worth fighting about.

He doesn’t need a car, but he does need a license. Even if he doesn’t step foot in a car again for 5 years.

What does he need the license for? He can get a non-driver ID card.

[Anonymous]

My friend's DH is an otherwise accomplished lawyer who has been using the "I grew up in NYC and didn't need a license" excuse forever even though he's now 50 and hasn't lived in NYC in 25 years. They live in suburbia. While he's busy moaning about how difficult driving is and how of course he never learned because NYC, he's burdening his wife with all the driving and all the errands that need a car, and all the childcare pickups. I like him but it absolutely has made me lose respect for him and think he's a wimpy loser and a mooch. He needs to sack up and get his license to help his family.

The longer you wait, the more inertia sets in and the harder it is. I would absolutely push DS on this. It's a skill he needs to have and puts burdens on others for things he should do himself. It doesn't sound like there's any serious contraindication.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who’s going to want to date a man child like that? Driving is a basic adult skill in the US.

Depends on what city you live in. Certainly, not in NYC.

And if they want to leave the city?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Heck, I would go so far as to tell my son that he gets a ton of “manliness points” for being able to drive!

Wow. You’re pathetic. You don’t sound mature enough to raise children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who’s going to want to date a man child like that? Driving is a basic adult skill in the US.

Depends on what city you live in. Certainly, not in NYC.

Please. Even my die hard NYC friends who grew up in Greenwich Village in the 70s know how to drive. Sometimes one must leave the city.

When you are 50 and your 18 year old needs to get to college in Vermont or whatever, are you planning to Uber there from Brooklyn?

No, Amtrak.

Amtrak won’t get you to Middlebury or Bowdoin or Dartmouth.

Amtrak indeed goes to Bowdoin in Brunswick.

You gonna haul your mini fridge and dorm room fan and sheets and towels back and forth on Amtrak?

Also, don't be so literal.

Why not? You were. DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even a college in the Boston suburbs will run a shuttle to the metro, airport, and into Boston. It's really such a great place for car-free living!

With all the things a person starting college has to juggle, you don't want him to have to hassle with a car, parking, shoveling snow off it, and of course people asking him for rides all the dang time. Focus on enjoying your time with your son, this is so super duper not worth fighting about.

He doesn’t need a car, but he does need a license. Even if he doesn’t step foot in a car again for 5 years.

No, he doesn’t. State ID. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask him what would happen if he gets a summer job not in Boston that required a car? It is hard to get practice hours in once you go to college.

Why on earth would someone without a car take a job that required a car. C'mon people, use some common sense.

I think the point is that he could be offered a job or at least an interview and then have to turn it down. Point being, it will limit his employment opportunities. It’s competitive out there so why would you do that for a stupid reason like not learning to drive.

C'mon, have you ever heard of this happening? Me neither. I'm sure some 18 yo's have been inconvenienced by not having a driver's license, but I really don't think this is a catastrophe in the making. Neither of my kids got their licenses until after college. It did not have one negative impact on them. I don't see why a kid MUST get a license at 18. What's wrong with waiting a few years? Honestly, I preferred that my kids not be behind the wheel during college; I'm actually glad they waited.

[Anonymous]

Please force your kid to get her license. My SIL didn't get her license until age 27. It became an issue when she wasn't able to help out her ailing parents.. don't let it become something your son avoids getting,or postpones..then it becomes a bigger hurdle than it needs to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask him what would happen if he gets a summer job not in Boston that required a car? It is hard to get practice hours in once you go to college.

Why on earth would someone without a car take a job that required a car. C'mon people, use some common sense.

I think the point is that he could be offered a job or at least an interview and then have to turn it down. Point being, it will limit his employment opportunities. It’s competitive out there so why would you do that for a stupid reason like not learning to drive.

C'mon, have you ever heard of this happening? Me neither. I'm sure some 18 yo's have been inconvenienced by not having a driver's license, but I really don't think this is a catastrophe in the making. Neither of my kids got their licenses until after college. It did not have one negative impact on them. I don't see why a kid MUST get a license at 18. What's wrong with waiting a few years? Honestly, I preferred that my kids not be behind the wheel during college; I'm actually glad they waited.

How do they get the 50 + hours of practices needed at college when parents are not around

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even a college in the Boston suburbs will run a shuttle to the metro, airport, and into Boston. It's really such a great place for car-free living!

With all the things a person starting college has to juggle, you don't want him to have to hassle with a car, parking, shoveling snow off it, and of course people asking him for rides all the dang time. Focus on enjoying your time with your son, this is so super duper not worth fighting about.

He doesn’t need a car, but he does need a license. Even if he doesn’t step foot in a car again for 5 years.

What does he need the license for? He can get a non-driver ID card.

He may want to drive someday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Basically what this means is if he does want to have a summer job that requires driving, he will need to do practice hours and pass the test on his school breaks, right? That does not seem like a terrible fate. He can get a lot done over Thanksgiving and the holidays and finish out on Spring Break.

And he can always sign up for Driver's Ed from a driving school in Boston and do lessons on the weekends.

That’s very expensive & will take away from studying, working & enjoyment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask him what would happen if he gets a summer job not in Boston that required a car? It is hard to get practice hours in once you go to college.

Why on earth would someone without a car take a job that required a car. C'mon people, use some common sense.

I think the point is that he could be offered a job or at least an interview and then have to turn it down. Point being, it will limit his employment opportunities. It’s competitive out there so why would you do that for a stupid reason like not learning to drive.

C'mon, have you ever heard of this happening? Me neither. I'm sure some 18 yo's have been inconvenienced by not having a driver's license, but I really don't think this is a catastrophe in the making. Neither of my kids got their licenses until after college. It did not have one negative impact on them. I don't see why a kid MUST get a license at 18. What's wrong with waiting a few years? Honestly, I preferred that my kids not be behind the wheel during college; I'm actually glad they waited.

How do they get the 50 + hours of practices needed at college when parents are not around

Lots of kids don’t actually do the 50+ hours of practice that’s required. Not saying that’s okay, just that it happens.

International students who get US licenses pay for driving school. It’s not cheap.

[Anonymous]

A teen who doesn't want to drive probably has high anxiety and low spatial awareness, etc, and knows they would need extra assistance in learning to drive. All the more reason to gently force the issue, because private lessons are VERY EXPENSIVE. More expensive than tutoring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who’s going to want to date a man child like that? Driving is a basic adult skill in the US.

Depends on what city you live in. Certainly, not in NYC.

And if they want to leave the city?

Buses, trains, boats & planes

[Anonymous]

My DD was like your DS. She did end up getting her license the month after high school graduation. She’s only driven short distances since (like, 5 minutes away from our house when she’s here) and does not own a car. Doesn’t drive on highways. But, she can drive at a basic level, has a form of ID and is glad she got her license. Lives car-free in Philly.