Soon to be 18 Senior refuses to practice driving

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid with motor delays and LDs who will likely never drive; it wouldn’t be safe for her or other drivers on the road. I fear she’d kill someone. She lacks spatial awareness, common sense and motor planning skills. She plans to live in sn urban environment and utilize public transportation (and Uber when necessary).

The judgement on this thread is really unnerving. I’m hoping it’s just a DCUM thing.

You do realize that your kid is the exception and not the norm? Nowhere did the OP say that their kid has special needs. It makes sense for your child to stay off the road, but that doesn't mean we should all keep our kids off the road. My teen has anxiety and I'm definitely pushing them to drive because if I don't, they'll be scared forever. Different issues

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told him to get the license first. He can decide whether to drive or not, he will have the option. But he insists he doesn’t want to ..

My brother was 48 when he got his drivers license.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Might his reluctance be anxiety-related?

Isn't most reluctance anxiety-related?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Soon to be 18 Senior refuses to practice driving this summer, let him?
He has taken the written test only.
We live in VA suburb and he is going to Boston for college in September, he said he doesn’t need to drive there ..

I don't think it is such a big deal. I lived in Boston for almost 10 years without a car. As a college student, I think I car would be a liability. Although, I did have a license and rented a car on some very rare occasions.

[Anonymous]

I went to the compulsory meeting for parents of driving students at my kid's high school. The PE teacher in charge was blasting everyone as to whether they were prepared to live with the responsibility of killing or paralyzing another person if they had an accident.

After that, even I didn't feel like driving home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask him what would happen if he gets a summer job not in Boston that required a car? It is hard to get practice hours in once you go to college.

Why on earth would someone without a car take a job that required a car. C'mon people, use some common sense.

I think the point is that he could be offered a job or at least an interview and then have to turn it down. Point being, it will limit his employment opportunities. It’s competitive out there so why would you do that for a stupid reason like not learning to drive.

C'mon, have you ever heard of this happening? Me neither. I'm sure some 18 yo's have been inconvenienced by not having a driver's license, but I really don't think this is a catastrophe in the making. Neither of my kids got their licenses until after college. It did not have one negative impact on them. I don't see why a kid MUST get a license at 18. What's wrong with waiting a few years? Honestly, I preferred that my kids not be behind the wheel during college; I'm actually glad they waited.

How do they get the 50 + hours of practices needed at college when parents are not around

Once you're behind a certain age, you don't need proof of driving hours. My older kid took his test in college and did a few private lessons and some practice with us. The younger one did it in high school and had to keep a diary of all practice hours.

[Anonymous]

My 18 yo DD literally told me that the reason she doesn’t get her license is because “I know you don’t have a lot of money and you can’t afford to get me a car.” That’s not actually true, but I won’t promise her one because I don’t think it’s appropriate, never mind that college first-years aren’t allowed cars. I told her there would be no discussion of cars with anyone whose doesn’t have a license to drive. Update: Still hasn’t take the learner’s permit test. Either was a really obnoxious excuse or a failed attempt at manipulation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is def more of a generational thing...I have a 21 year old in college and an 18 year old who is college bound this fall, and neither of them were in a hurry to drive. My 21 year old got a learners permit at 18, then a full drivers permit at 19.5. My 18 year old hasn't even gotten a learners permit yet, although my husband and I have been giving informal driving lessons for the last year...so the skills are (sort of) there.

I'm honestly more bothered by it then they are...lol. I begged my parents to take me to the dmv to get my lerner's permit when I was 15.9 months exactly! But my kids don't think it's that big a deal. We live in the city and they are both happy to take uber, metro, scooters, bikes or walk to where they need to go. They have friends who drive and will sometimes ride places with them, but they rarely ask us to drive them anywhere. The kid who is already in college is on a huge campus, but happily bikes around during the week and ubers or rides with friends on the weekends. My younger kid who is headed to college this fall isn't too concerned either...even tho the college campus is sprawling, they have a university bus system that shuttles students anywhere they need to go. Its so weird how things have changed so much around this...driving yourself around was a rite of passage when I was a teenager....go figure.

It’s called increasing urbanization.

Also you can meet up with friends or do classes or meetings online, so there's no need to drive to see others in person all the time.

Given the expense of parking, it's often easier and quicker to take public transportation. Kids are also being taught about the negative impact of fossil fuels and traffic, so may be more inclined to take public transportation as the responsible thing to do.

[Anonymous]

The adults I know who don't drive--other than those with disabilities, who cannot--are the most entitled people I know. My MIL chose not to because she felt driving herself was beneath her and had her husband and children drove her everywhere until they finally just hired her a fulltime driver. A man I work with, who grew up as a rich aristocrat in Paris chose never to learn to drive. We are equals at our work place, but whenever we have to go somewhere, either locally or traveling, our boss just assumes I will drive this man around. He makes jokes about how I'm his driver. On our last work trip, I finally just made my schedule work in a way that I couldn't drive him. I just find people like that so entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The adults I know who don't drive--other than those with disabilities, who cannot--are the most entitled people I know. My MIL chose not to because she felt driving herself was beneath her and had her husband and children drove her everywhere until they finally just hired her a fulltime driver. A man I work with, who grew up as a rich aristocrat in Paris chose never to learn to drive. We are equals at our work place, but whenever we have to go somewhere, either locally or traveling, our boss just assumes I will drive this man around. He makes jokes about how I'm his driver. On our last work trip, I finally just made my schedule work in a way that I couldn't drive him. I just find people like that so entitled.

The people I know who don't drive don't do so because of medical conditions such as seizures. It is good to know how to get around without a car in case you ever find yourself in that position. A lot of older seniors should also have alternative transportation plans because they shouldn't be on the roads, and many states have no mechanism to force them out of their cars.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t learn to drive until my late 20s (grew up in the Paris suburbs, college in MA, then DC). It wasn’t a big deal. I have friends who live here who don’t drive at all (in our mid 40s). Would it have been nice to know how? Sure, but it was never an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to the compulsory meeting for parents of driving students at my kid's high school. The PE teacher in charge was blasting everyone as to whether they were prepared to live with the responsibility of killing or paralyzing another person if they had an accident.

After that, even I didn't feel like driving home.

+1. I’m 40 and I get anxious about driving. Growing up in the south I got my license at 16 and routinely drove 70 on the interstate. Now I live in Arlington and am worried about a pedestrian jumping in front of my “murder box” when I’m driving all of 25 mph. The war against drivers in this area is real. I don’t blame teenagers for wanting to avoid it.