High School soccer insane expectations

[Anonymous]

I do agree with PP who said if your kid is a star this becomes less of an issue. Not sure it teaches the exact right thing but it does reflect real life.

Many years ago I played HS football and was a star player. I was also at the top of the class and took school and other related ECs seriously. I made most practices. A few I had to miss. There was no real option for the coach to bench me. But even if there was, I would have done the school work first and not played. It never came to a head because I always talked to the coach ahead of time and worked it out. If it is really school work, even back then, coach would have lost if this went to principal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not saying it is right -- but, yes, these are the expectations for high school soccer in our area.

Well it shouldn't be. They are STUDENT athletes. And the student should come first.

You obviously don't have a kid doing Sports at all. The expectations/commitment is that you do both.

So next time, give some respect to kids and their families who are doing it. It is not for everyone for sure, but please don't take away a spot from someone who is whiling to give 100%.

#soccermom

My kid is on a state championship winning team and also plays at a high level in travel. Our HS team practices weekends, does tournaments, as well as other team related events. So watch your assumptions, soccer mom.

And even our coach makes allowances for school and medical related appointments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not saying it is right -- but, yes, these are the expectations for high school soccer in our area.

Well it shouldn't be. They are STUDENT athletes. And the student should come first.

As with other extracurriculars, one of the great things about participating in sports while in school is that it helps teach time management and helps develop executive functioning skills. Kids participating on teams need to know their calendars so they can schedule appointments appropriately so they don't interfere with other commitments, including their athletic commitments. There is almost always more than one slot available to schedule an appointment, be it for tutoring, medical reasons, etc. If you cannot or will not think about how your practice or game schedule factors into your other activities, then high school sports is not for you.

Almost always, no. Nice that you have a kid without needs for regular medical appointments or struggling in a subject. It's HS sports, not the NCAA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's reasonable to expect the kids to attend every practice barring illness? Sounds like the kid scheduled something during a time she knew she had practice. If she called the coach to explain a dire situation like she was failing a class and desperately needed a session before a big exam, then I think it would've gone differently. But honestly, even JV, if you are on a team, you show up. If kids felt like they could be absent every now and then it really affects the team. If your goalie just didn't show up, what would you do? If the coach designed a practice around set pieces and the goalie decided she needed to see a tutor instead, how does that work? It's disrespectful. You show up unless you are ill. She knew the schedule for the team and she chose to be on it. Yes, the kids need to work with the coaches to let them know what's going on academically and the coach should be able to support that... but I wouldn't expect the coach to continually deal with kids scheduling stuff during practice time.

NP, and totally agree with the above. Don't agree with how the coach communicated the info, however. Not okay to schedule a tutoring session during an already planned practice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not saying it is right -- but, yes, these are the expectations for high school soccer in our area.

Well it shouldn't be. They are STUDENT athletes. And the student should come first.

You obviously don't have a kid doing Sports at all. The expectations/commitment is that you do both.

So next time, give some respect to kids and their families who are doing it. It is not for everyone for sure, but please don't take away a spot from someone who is whiling to give 100%.

#soccermom

My kid is on a state championship winning team and also plays at a high level in travel. Our HS team practices weekends, does tournaments, as well as other team related events. So watch your assumptions, soccer mom.

And even our coach makes allowances for school and medical related appointments.

Volleyball mom and I don't agree with you. Agree with top mom. This is a competitive sport. Appointments should be scheduled around practice unless an emergency. Also coached myself for four years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not saying it is right -- but, yes, these are the expectations for high school soccer in our area.

Well it shouldn't be. They are STUDENT athletes. And the student should come first.

As with other extracurriculars, one of the great things about participating in sports while in school is that it helps teach time management and helps develop executive functioning skills. Kids participating on teams need to know their calendars so they can schedule appointments appropriately so they don't interfere with other commitments, including their athletic commitments. There is almost always more than one slot available to schedule an appointment, be it for tutoring, medical reasons, etc. If you cannot or will not think about how your practice or game schedule factors into your other activities, then high school sports is not for you.

Almost always, no. Nice that you have a kid without needs for regular medical appointments or struggling in a subject. It's HS sports, not the NCAA.

Then your kid should stick to rec or take the season off. High school sports aren't a good fit for kids struggling in school because it's a commitment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not saying it is right -- but, yes, these are the expectations for high school soccer in our area.

Well it shouldn't be. They are STUDENT athletes. And the student should come first.

You obviously don't have a kid doing Sports at all. The expectations/commitment is that you do both.

So next time, give some respect to kids and their families who are doing it. It is not for everyone for sure, but please don't take away a spot from someone who is whiling to give 100%.

#soccermom

#gag

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not saying it is right -- but, yes, these are the expectations for high school soccer in our area.

Well it shouldn't be. They are STUDENT athletes. And the student should come first.

You obviously don't have a kid doing Sports at all. The expectations/commitment is that you do both.

So next time, give some respect to kids and their families who are doing it. It is not for everyone for sure, but please don't take away a spot from someone who is whiling to give 100%.

#soccermom

#gag

NP. You just come across as a person with little drive, little discipline, and poor organizational skills. Of this is your mentality, and it’s shared by your kid…they won’t be moving ahead in sports or elsewhere where there is a competitive component.

[Anonymous]

A lot depends on circumstances.

Just like a class at school, being on a school team carries the commitment of showing up. The rules for what happens if and when you don’t show up are made in consultation with the athletic director, and other coaches.

Generally the rule has to be “show up for everything or else there will be consequences”. Just like Math class - you can miss if you are sick, and just like Math class you need to have a good excuse and communicate it appropriately. Yes - even if the reason is “good”, there can be consequences. The coach will take into consideration what was involved, and what was missed, and the balance of having a player miss practice or a game, and playing them? Starting them? Effect on the other players?

Obviously, if player A misses 2 practices before a game - even for a good reason - if player A has no consequences for doing so - how will players B,C and D react? What is fair to them? What lessons are being learned?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The coach is a narcissist.
Don’t be another pawn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not saying it is right -- but, yes, these are the expectations for high school soccer in our area.

Well it shouldn't be. They are STUDENT athletes. And the student should come first.

You obviously don't have a kid doing Sports at all. The expectations/commitment is that you do both.

So next time, give some respect to kids and their families who are doing it. It is not for everyone for sure, but please don't take away a spot from someone who is whiling to give 100%.

#soccermom

#gag

NP. You just come across as a person with little drive, little discipline, and poor organizational skills. Of this is your mentality, and it’s shared by your kid…they won’t be moving ahead in sports or elsewhere where there is a competitive component.

Because I am put off by the self-importance of that poster? OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot depends on circumstances.

Just like a class at school, being on a school team carries the commitment of showing up. The rules for what happens if and when you don’t show up are made in consultation with the athletic director, and other coaches.

Generally the rule has to be “show up for everything or else there will be consequences”. Just like Math class - you can miss if you are sick, and just like Math class you need to have a good excuse and communicate it appropriately. Yes - even if the reason is “good”, there can be consequences. The coach will take into consideration what was involved, and what was missed, and the balance of having a player miss practice or a game, and playing them? Starting them? Effect on the other players?

Obviously, if player A misses 2 practices before a game - even for a good reason - if player A has no consequences for doing so - how will players B,C and D react? What is fair to them? What lessons are being learned?

This exactly. OP, the tutoring session should not have been scheduled over soccer practice. Soccer practice is a team sport. It should have been scheduled for another time. Since tutor canceled, it was up to them to accommodate. Your daughter shouldn’t have told coach over group text. Coach shouldn’t have responded over group text.

Expect if you escalate, rather than take this as a life lesson, your daughter will be downgraded as a player unofficially (less playing time, maybe cut next season) and you’ll be labeled the difficult mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot depends on circumstances.

Just like a class at school, being on a school team carries the commitment of showing up. The rules for what happens if and when you don’t show up are made in consultation with the athletic director, and other coaches.

Generally the rule has to be “show up for everything or else there will be consequences”. Just like Math class - you can miss if you are sick, and just like Math class you need to have a good excuse and communicate it appropriately. Yes - even if the reason is “good”, there can be consequences. The coach will take into consideration what was involved, and what was missed, and the balance of having a player miss practice or a game, and playing them? Starting them? Effect on the other players?

Obviously, if player A misses 2 practices before a game - even for a good reason - if player A has no consequences for doing so - how will players B,C and D react? What is fair to them? What lessons are being learned?

This exactly. OP, the tutoring session should not have been scheduled over soccer practice. Soccer practice is a team sport. It should have been scheduled for another time. Since tutor canceled, it was up to them to accommodate. Your daughter shouldn’t have told coach over group text. Coach shouldn’t have responded over group text.

Expect if you escalate, rather than take this as a life lesson, your daughter will be downgraded as a player unofficially (less playing time, maybe cut next season) and you’ll be labeled the difficult mom.

This exactly. OP, the tutoring session should not have been scheduled over soccer practice. Soccer practice is a team sport. It should have been scheduled for another time. Since tutor canceled, it was up to them to accommodate. Your daughter shouldn’t have told coach over group text. Coach shouldn’t have responded over group text.

Expect if you escalate, rather than take this as a life lesson, your daughter will be downgraded as a player unofficially (less playing time, maybe cut next season) and you’ll be labeled the difficult mom.

[Anonymous]

Sorry didn't read the whole thread....

When you can't come, say you are sick*

_or_

Quit (a valid choice)

*also, not on the group text. directly. the coach didn't like it that everyone now thinks the excuse given is an acceptable excuse.

[Anonymous]

Sorry but the girl was wrong. When you join a HS team, even a freshman team, you don’t schedule tutoring during practice. Being on the team isn’t mandatory and attending all practices has always been a thing. You can miss for real sickness or a funeral but you better not have a weekly therapy session, stay after with a teacher or go to the orthodontist. Schedule those at other times. It’s not the Olympics but it’s the expectation of the team. Even in youth sports injured players went to practices and games.