High School soccer insane expectations

[Anonymous]

My daughter (9th grade) plays soccer at a FCPS. She is extremely stressed out because one of her teammates got very reprimanded via group chat by the coach because she sent a message in the group, letting the coach know that she couldn’t attend one practice because her tutor, who she meets once a week, had an emergency and had to reschedule her session during a practice. This is JV, they aren’t even any good and they already practice two hours a a day Monday through Saturday. The coach said that if you commit to playing soccer for their high school, you need to commit to attend every single practice, no excuses. If you break a leg, you’re expected to come in your cast and cheer for your team during every single practice. If you had a class scheduled or tutoring, the girls need to do everything possible not to schedule it during a practice, or they shouldn’t have to tried out to begin with. Another friend of DD who practices a winter sport outside of school, had her very last practice last week. It was her season ending practice, and they do a tournament. She would have absolutely let her team down had she not gone. She was yelled at by the coach. Another had a test make up scheduled after school and the coach was so angry at her because she should’ve scheduled that at a different time. Is this a thing in some sports? I find it ridiculous, he’s making the girls so stressed out. My daughter played a sport this past fall, and although they were expected to come to every single practice, the coaches were very clear that they were student athletes, and academics came first. So if they were overwhelmed with work, they could speak to the coach about will missing a practice. No one was yelled at for missing practice if they had to take a test make up after school.

[Anonymous]

The coach is a narcissist.
Don’t be another pawn.

[Anonymous]

Yep, that’s absurd. The coach is confused as to where he works and what he’s supposed to be doing for these girls. They’re not Olympic athletes, they’re freshman students who happen to play soccer. I’d honestly go to the principal about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep, that’s absurd. The coach is confused as to where he works and what he’s supposed to be doing for these girls. They’re not Olympic athletes, they’re freshman students who happen to play soccer. I’d honestly go to the principal about it.

Agreed. This is insane. Academics first.

[Anonymous]

I’m sure other parents are also fed up.

[Anonymous]

I'm not saying it is right -- but, yes, these are the expectations for high school soccer in our area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not saying it is right -- but, yes, these are the expectations for high school soccer in our area.

A-hole coaches? Yep. The soccer coaches are at our high school too.

[Anonymous]

it is HS soccer- it is not the Olympics (or even the caliber of travel soccer). Tell the coach to pound sand.

[Anonymous]

This is one reason being an athlete is a hook, not because they attend every practice, but they have to stand up to coaches and say, sorry, not sorry.

This is a life lesson; you will always be disappointing someone. Sometimes you have to tell your boss, sorry, not sorry I have to go to my kids school.

Yes, coaches are insane, almost every single one of them. It is very, very, very rare to find a great coach.

This is it, this is the lesson... not that you have to go to every game, not that you have to go to every practice... that you need to stand up to this behavior, bravely, intently and take the "punishment" whatever it is, because it will be stupid.

Is it stressful, yes, very. So is telling your boss sorry but i need a day off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it is HS soccer- it is not the Olympics (or even the caliber of travel soccer). Tell the coach to pound sand.

Yes, but unless this girl is the best on the team (which is doubtful), then the coach just kicks her off the squad because she is not committed. I'm not sure she wants that outcome.

[Anonymous]

Are high school sport coaches also teachers?

[Anonymous]

This is the same environment in club/travel soccer in this area as well. It’s no wonder that abuse, in many forms, is rampant in the sport/ women’s soccer league. We teach these girls it’s not OK to stick up for themselves and not to identify what they should be putting first. We teach them to question themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the same environment in club/travel soccer in this area as well. It’s no wonder that abuse, in many forms, is rampant in the sport/ women’s soccer league. We teach these girls it’s not OK to stick up for themselves and not to identify what they should be putting first. We teach them to question themselves.

This. When you read the report about abuse on womens socfer or gymnastics and Houthi k why did these strong awesome women put up with this? It’s because they were groomed by narcissistic jerks like this. My kid plays a less popular sport and her coach is lovely. My kid sometimes has to miss practices for an academic competition and she’s very understanding because she knows my kid is otherwise very committed to the team.

[Anonymous]

Youth sports are insane overall. You would think that it would be less so in JV in HS. That's not even club or varsity. And, they are still students.

My kid is 11 and swims club and his practices are 15 hours a week. I think that's excessive.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to be clear, it there actual yelling going on about this from the coach to the girls? People claim yelling for reprimanding, criticism, or correcting a lot- but it isn’t the same thing