High School soccer insane expectations

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's reasonable to expect the kids to attend every practice barring illness? Sounds like the kid scheduled something during a time she knew she had practice. If she called the coach to explain a dire situation like she was failing a class and desperately needed a session before a big exam, then I think it would've gone differently. But honestly, even JV, if you are on a team, you show up. If kids felt like they could be absent every now and then it really affects the team. If your goalie just didn't show up, what would you do? If the coach designed a practice around set pieces and the goalie decided she needed to see a tutor instead, how does that work? It's disrespectful. You show up unless you are ill. She knew the schedule for the team and she chose to be on it. Yes, the kids need to work with the coaches to let them know what's going on academically and the coach should be able to support that... but I wouldn't expect the coach to continually deal with kids scheduling stuff during practice time.

NP, and totally agree with the above. Don't agree with how the coach communicated the info, however. Not okay to schedule a tutoring session during an already planned practice.

I don't agree. The girl that needed to attend the last practice of her previous commitment? Sports coincide for a week or two. If a kid can do two sports, it should be encouraged, it helps with muscle development and prevents injuries (from repetitive movements). My daughter does two sports, and her winter practices run into HS soccer practices for a week. She always misses two days of practice to finish one commitment, especially since the tournaments are that last week. I see a benefit to teaching them to keep their commitments and to find ways to manage both, not to bend to the tantrums of a HS coach. The child that had a test retake. That should always be a priority. In my daughter's HS the teachers often schedule retakes after school, specially the ones that are open-ended because kids often need more than an hour to complete those. Not every teacher likes to come before school, and the teacher should not be the one bending over to accommodate a HS sport, it should be the other way around. High SCHOOL sports, emphasis on SCHOOL. The soccer, volleyball, track teams are not going to get them into colleges (unless super stars), but their grades are. How about medical appointments? Our pediatrician, for example, only takes Saturday appointments for emergencies. DD has monthly med checks, which I schedule after school, so she does not miss classes. The priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it is HS soccer- it is not the Olympics (or even the caliber of travel soccer). Tell the coach to pound sand.

Yes, but unless this girl is the best on the team (which is doubtful), then the coach just kicks her off the squad because she is not committed. I'm not sure she wants that outcome.

If the coach thinks he can kick off a 9th grade JV soccer player because she was making up a test or doing a single rescheduled-by-necessity academic tutoring session, his boss, the principal, can set him straight about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:17:52 again. I’m a parent but also a high school teacher. Students do not miss practice to take a test after school. Ever. They come to Mascot Period. Which school is this that regularly has kids missing practice to make up tests?

No way you are an honors or an AP teacher. My son's history tests take the whole period (2-3 open-ended essays) and they are welcome to stay after school if they didn't have time to finish. Retakes for that class are ALWAYS after school because the tests are so long. He has missed practice twice because of test retakes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it is HS soccer- it is not the Olympics (or even the caliber of travel soccer). Tell the coach to pound sand.

Yes, but unless this girl is the best on the team (which is doubtful), then the coach just kicks her off the squad because she is not committed. I'm not sure she wants that outcome.

If the coach thinks he can kick off a 9th grade JV soccer player because she was making up a test or doing a single rescheduled-by-necessity academic tutoring session, his boss, the principal, can set him straight about that.

I was thinking the same thing. Imagine the coach justifying kicking a girl off the team because her teacher scheduled a retake during practice or because the child had a doctor's appointment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son was benched from games for having to miss due to an out of state funeral for a grandparent and also a choir performance which counted as a grade for his choir class. We would have understood not starting the next game, but were not happy about being completely benched for the entire game.

was the coach skeptical of the excuse of just a no exceptions policy?

It was a no exceptions policy - coach was a teacher at the same school and was absolutely aware of the choir performances (son was not the only player performing). Parents did not interact with the coach as players were directed to handle issues themselves (which we were absolutely fine with, club was the same way) - so I can't say whether the funeral was believed or not. This was a kid that never missed practices and would stay after to help pick up/put away equipment.

Broke his hand junior year right before tryouts for HS and had to have surgery - emailed all the coaches to let them know. Ended up just playing club that season instead (club played all year even in high school ages) once he was cleared. But drove himself to all club practices about an hour away after his surgery so he could see what they were working on in practice.

If the coach is benching a kid for going to a graded assignment, I'd complain to the principal and regional superintendent, that would do nothing. If the coach says anything at all to the kid, I'd file a retaliation claim and hope that gets them fired

Yeah, the expectation that a kid take a zero on a performance that’s usually weighted at least as much as a test so they don’t miss a single sports PRACTICE is asinine. Coach has an overinflated ego and needs to be taken down a peg by the people who sign his paychecks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not saying it is right -- but, yes, these are the expectations for high school soccer in our area.

Well it shouldn't be. They are STUDENT athletes. And the student should come first.

You obviously don't have a kid doing Sports at all. The expectations/commitment is that you do both.

So next time, give some respect to kids and their families who are doing it. It is not for everyone for sure, but please don't take away a spot from someone who is whiling to give 100%.

#soccermom

Oh my God. You did not actually just type “#soccermom.”

I’m so embarrassed for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not saying it is right -- but, yes, these are the expectations for high school soccer in our area.

Well it shouldn't be. They are STUDENT athletes. And the student should come first.

You obviously don't have a kid doing Sports at all. The expectations/commitment is that you do both.

So next time, give some respect to kids and their families who are doing it. It is not for everyone for sure, but please don't take away a spot from someone who is whiling to give 100%.

#soccermom

#gag

NP. You just come across as a person with little drive, little discipline, and poor organizational skills. Of this is your mentality, and it’s shared by your kid…they won’t be moving ahead in sports or elsewhere where there is a competitive component.

Please, I beg of you, get so very much over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes
Sports is the very last place in public school where students are actually expected to adhere to decent values like honoring your commitments to something other than your own self.
You admit practice is only 2 hours out of the day. So the test and tutors couldn't be scheduled for any of the other 22 hours?
My kids have played intense sports and managed to do makeup tests before school, during lunch or free periods and doctors appointments etc during other hours.
I was thrilled to have them get a real life understanding of the commitments and sacrifices that are needed to excel in other areas of life.
Keep your meddling, snowflake coddling Karen hands off sports culture. The meddling has ruined every other aspect of public school.
Please and thanks.

Are you always so absurdly melodramatic, or only on DCUM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's reasonable to expect the kids to attend every practice barring illness? Sounds like the kid scheduled something during a time she knew she had practice. If she called the coach to explain a dire situation like she was failing a class and desperately needed a session before a big exam, then I think it would've gone differently. But honestly, even JV, if you are on a team, you show up. If kids felt like they could be absent every now and then it really affects the team. If your goalie just didn't show up, what would you do? If the coach designed a practice around set pieces and the goalie decided she needed to see a tutor instead, how does that work? It's disrespectful. You show up unless you are ill. She knew the schedule for the team and she chose to be on it. Yes, the kids need to work with the coaches to let them know what's going on academically and the coach should be able to support that... but I wouldn't expect the coach to continually deal with kids scheduling stuff during practice time.

Agree.
My kid plays other HS sports, but that is the expectation. There were some kids that were injured the entire season, but still showed up to every single practice and game to cheer on their team mates.

The tutor rescheduling should have been done at a different time.

Playing for a club sport outside of school and time conflicts with HS team? Then don't try out for the HS team. Leave the spot for someone who can fully commit.

The coach shouldn't have yelled at these players. He should have just cut them from the team.

Do you know how hard it is to find a good tutor? Ours has a waiting list, and if she has an emergency and changes the meeting time, which has happened maybe twice in 3 years, we bend to her schedule. She meets once a week with my kids, and HS practice is every single day, Saturdays included. HS sports can bend so my children can do well in school, their #1 priority. They are not out there socializing and missing practice for trivia reasons, they are in academic tutoring. Playing a winter sports will overlap with a spring sport for a week or two. Coaches know this. It should be ok for kids to manage both commitments by offering each equal time for that one or two weeks of overlap. You are teaching you kids to finish a commitment and to manage difficult situations why communicating with their coaches about their schedule. Now, if you are doing a travel sport at the same time as a HS sport, that won't work, unless the practices/game times are completely different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes
Sports is the very last place in public school where students are actually expected to adhere to decent values like honoring your commitments to something other than your own self.
You admit practice is only 2 hours out of the day. So the test and tutors couldn't be scheduled for any of the other 22 hours?
My kids have played intense sports and managed to do makeup tests before school, during lunch or free periods and doctors appointments etc during other hours.
I was thrilled to have them get a real life understanding of the commitments and sacrifices that are needed to excel in other areas of life.
Keep your meddling, snowflake coddling Karen hands off sports culture. The meddling has ruined every other aspect of public school.
Please and thanks.

Nope, my son is not getting a scholarship for soccer, although he is a solid player and a starter on his HS team. His goal in life is not coaching soccer, so prioritizing soccer over school or health makes no sense. His tutor doesn't work on weekends, she tutors after school. She has him scheduled for 6pm sessions so he doesn't miss practice, but if she were to have something change, and DS needs to do an earlier session, he would go to tutoring. He is honoring his #1 commitment: to do well in school to get into a good university. Orthodontics appointments are the same. My son sees the orthodontist once a month and the appointments are always after school, so he misses practice. His school is out at 2:45pm and practices are 3-5pm. So no, he will not miss school for an appointment, he will miss the extracurricular, which is sports.

[Anonymous]

Whew. Thankful for the voices of reason showing up in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes
Sports is the very last place in public school where students are actually expected to adhere to decent values like honoring your commitments to something other than your own self.
You admit practice is only 2 hours out of the day. So the test and tutors couldn't be scheduled for any of the other 22 hours?
My kids have played intense sports and managed to do makeup tests before school, during lunch or free periods and doctors appointments etc during other hours.
I was thrilled to have them get a real life understanding of the commitments and sacrifices that are needed to excel in other areas of life.
Keep your meddling, snowflake coddling Karen hands off sports culture. The meddling has ruined every other aspect of public school.
Please and thanks.

Nope, my son is not getting a scholarship for soccer, although he is a solid player and a starter on his HS team. His goal in life is not coaching soccer, so prioritizing soccer over school or health makes no sense. His tutor doesn't work on weekends, she tutors after school. She has him scheduled for 6pm sessions so he doesn't miss practice, but if she were to have something change, and DS needs to do an earlier session, he would go to tutoring. He is honoring his #1 commitment: to do well in school to get into a good university. Orthodontics appointments are the same. My son sees the orthodontist once a month and the appointments are always after school, so he misses practice. His school is out at 2:45pm and practices are 3-5pm. So no, he will not miss school for an appointment, he will miss the extracurricular, which is sports.

Right, the priority should be:
1) health (I have no compunction about having doctor's visits during school, unless this would involve the kids missing some big test or whatnot- they're not easy to schedule, I have to schedule them around my work as well etc)
2) school
3) extracurriculars
Again, with the exception of kids who are exceptional athletes, aspiring musicians etc. It's hard enough to fit time for family and friends (which I would sometimes put above extracurriculars, though sometimes you see your friends there as well)

And yes, to answer the PP that most kids will neither become professional athletes, nor professional actors, physicists etc. That is true. But school is a requirement for everyone. You can argue what level of physics should be taught in HS or how much HW AP Physics should give or whatever, but I think that's a separate issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes
Sports is the very last place in public school where students are actually expected to adhere to decent values like honoring your commitments to something other than your own self.
You admit practice is only 2 hours out of the day. So the test and tutors couldn't be scheduled for any of the other 22 hours?
My kids have played intense sports and managed to do makeup tests before school, during lunch or free periods and doctors appointments etc during other hours.
I was thrilled to have them get a real life understanding of the commitments and sacrifices that are needed to excel in other areas of life.
Keep your meddling, snowflake coddling Karen hands off sports culture. The meddling has ruined every other aspect of public school.
Please and thanks.

Your child sounds like a lemming.

Sport is a great place to actually learn life lessons and one lesson is that you have to have priorities and that sometimes people will think they are the priority when they are not.

My son also is an athlete, D1, all American, T30 school, T10 sports rank.

Guess what, the sport is still not always #1.

You're teaching your kid to lack values and to allow a coach to dictate his values. Your kid is probably too scared to stand up to a coach, then too scared to stand up to a boss in the future.

Do better.

Please and thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's reasonable to expect the kids to attend every practice barring illness? Sounds like the kid scheduled something during a time she knew she had practice. If she called the coach to explain a dire situation like she was failing a class and desperately needed a session before a big exam, then I think it would've gone differently. But honestly, even JV, if you are on a team, you show up. If kids felt like they could be absent every now and then it really affects the team. If your goalie just didn't show up, what would you do? If the coach designed a practice around set pieces and the goalie decided she needed to see a tutor instead, how does that work? It's disrespectful. You show up unless you are ill. She knew the schedule for the team and she chose to be on it. Yes, the kids need to work with the coaches to let them know what's going on academically and the coach should be able to support that... but I wouldn't expect the coach to continually deal with kids scheduling stuff during practice time.

NP, and totally agree with the above. Don't agree with how the coach communicated the info, however. Not okay to schedule a tutoring session during an already planned practice.

I don't agree. The girl that needed to attend the last practice of her previous commitment? Sports coincide for a week or two. If a kid can do two sports, it should be encouraged, it helps with muscle development and prevents injuries (from repetitive movements). My daughter does two sports, and her winter practices run into HS soccer practices for a week. She always misses two days of practice to finish one commitment, especially since the tournaments are that last week. I see a benefit to teaching them to keep their commitments and to find ways to manage both, not to bend to the tantrums of a HS coach. The child that had a test retake. That should always be a priority. In my daughter's HS the teachers often schedule retakes after school, specially the ones that are open-ended because kids often need more than an hour to complete those. Not every teacher likes to come before school, and the teacher should not be the one bending over to accommodate a HS sport, it should be the other way around. High SCHOOL sports, emphasis on SCHOOL. The soccer, volleyball, track teams are not going to get them into colleges (unless super stars), but their grades are. How about medical appointments? Our pediatrician, for example, only takes Saturday appointments for emergencies. DD has monthly med checks, which I schedule after school, so she does not miss classes. The priority.

By NOT keeping her commitment? What you are teaching her is that it's ok to "commit" to something when you already had something else planned first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it is HS soccer- it is not the Olympics (or even the caliber of travel soccer). Tell the coach to pound sand.

Yes, but unless this girl is the best on the team (which is doubtful), then the coach just kicks her off the squad because she is not committed. I'm not sure she wants that outcome.

If the coach thinks he can kick off a 9th grade JV soccer player because she was making up a test or doing a single rescheduled-by-necessity academic tutoring session, his boss, the principal, can set him straight about that.

If a student is doing so poorly in a class that regular tutoring is a "necessity" something is VERY wrong. Either her teacher is horrible, or she is in a class that is far beyond her capabilities. The last thing this student needs is to be on a sports team.