High School soccer insane expectations

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's reasonable to expect the kids to attend every practice barring illness? Sounds like the kid scheduled something during a time she knew she had practice. If she called the coach to explain a dire situation like she was failing a class and desperately needed a session before a big exam, then I think it would've gone differently. But honestly, even JV, if you are on a team, you show up. If kids felt like they could be absent every now and then it really affects the team. If your goalie just didn't show up, what would you do? If the coach designed a practice around set pieces and the goalie decided she needed to see a tutor instead, how does that work? It's disrespectful. You show up unless you are ill. She knew the schedule for the team and she chose to be on it. Yes, the kids need to work with the coaches to let them know what's going on academically and the coach should be able to support that... but I wouldn't expect the coach to continually deal with kids scheduling stuff during practice time.

Agree.
My kid plays other HS sports, but that is the expectation. There were some kids that were injured the entire season, but still showed up to every single practice and game to cheer on their team mates.

The tutor rescheduling should have been done at a different time.

Playing for a club sport outside of school and time conflicts with HS team? Then don't try out for the HS team. Leave the spot for someone who can fully commit.

The coach shouldn't have yelled at these players. He should have just cut them from the team.

Do you know how hard it is to find a good tutor? Ours has a waiting list, and if she has an emergency and changes the meeting time, which has happened maybe twice in 3 years, we bend to her schedule. She meets once a week with my kids, and HS practice is every single day, Saturdays included. HS sports can bend so my children can do well in school, their #1 priority. They are not out there socializing and missing practice for trivia reasons, they are in academic tutoring. Playing a winter sports will overlap with a spring sport for a week or two. Coaches know this. It should be ok for kids to manage both commitments by offering each equal time for that one or two weeks of overlap. You are teaching you kids to finish a commitment and to manage difficult situations why communicating with their coaches about their schedule. Now, if you are doing a travel sport at the same time as a HS sport, that won't work, unless the practices/game times are completely different.

Why do your kids need a tutor? Why can't they just take a class that is in line with their actual ability?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it is HS soccer- it is not the Olympics (or even the caliber of travel soccer). Tell the coach to pound sand.

Yes, but unless this girl is the best on the team (which is doubtful), then the coach just kicks her off the squad because she is not committed. I'm not sure she wants that outcome.

If the coach thinks he can kick off a 9th grade JV soccer player because she was making up a test or doing a single rescheduled-by-necessity academic tutoring session, his boss, the principal, can set him straight about that.

If a student is doing so poorly in a class that regular tutoring is a "necessity" something is VERY wrong. Either her teacher is horrible, or she is in a class that is far beyond her capabilities. The last thing this student needs is to be on a sports team.

Many kids can’t learn from lecture but most teachers cant accommodate every learning style. Great athletes are usually tactile learners. I applaud the mom for getting tutoring instead of expecting the teacher to be able to teach to every kids style.

Studies show teacher teach in the style they learn. If they learn by reading they assign a ton of reading. Not great for a dyslexic kid, doesn’t mean they don’t have the capacity to learn the material.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's reasonable to expect the kids to attend every practice barring illness? Sounds like the kid scheduled something during a time she knew she had practice. If she called the coach to explain a dire situation like she was failing a class and desperately needed a session before a big exam, then I think it would've gone differently. But honestly, even JV, if you are on a team, you show up. If kids felt like they could be absent every now and then it really affects the team. If your goalie just didn't show up, what would you do? If the coach designed a practice around set pieces and the goalie decided she needed to see a tutor instead, how does that work? It's disrespectful. You show up unless you are ill. She knew the schedule for the team and she chose to be on it. Yes, the kids need to work with the coaches to let them know what's going on academically and the coach should be able to support that... but I wouldn't expect the coach to continually deal with kids scheduling stuff during practice time.

Agree.
My kid plays other HS sports, but that is the expectation. There were some kids that were injured the entire season, but still showed up to every single practice and game to cheer on their team mates.

The tutor rescheduling should have been done at a different time.

Playing for a club sport outside of school and time conflicts with HS team? Then don't try out for the HS team. Leave the spot for someone who can fully commit.

The coach shouldn't have yelled at these players. He should have just cut them from the team.

Do you know how hard it is to find a good tutor? Ours has a waiting list, and if she has an emergency and changes the meeting time, which has happened maybe twice in 3 years, we bend to her schedule. She meets once a week with my kids, and HS practice is every single day, Saturdays included. HS sports can bend so my children can do well in school, their #1 priority. They are not out there socializing and missing practice for trivia reasons, they are in academic tutoring. Playing a winter sports will overlap with a spring sport for a week or two. Coaches know this. It should be ok for kids to manage both commitments by offering each equal time for that one or two weeks of overlap. You are teaching you kids to finish a commitment and to manage difficult situations why communicating with their coaches about their schedule. Now, if you are doing a travel sport at the same time as a HS sport, that won't work, unless the practices/game times are completely different.

Why do your kids need a tutor? Why can't they just take a class that is in line with their actual ability?

A tutor fills the missing gaps. This particular tutor is a math teacher. Both my kids have always done very well in math, but they want to get A’s and a tutor absolutely marks the difference between a B+ in an honors class and an A. Especially for busy kids that practice competitive sports, play an instrument, and have to volunteer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it is HS soccer- it is not the Olympics (or even the caliber of travel soccer). Tell the coach to pound sand.

Yes, but unless this girl is the best on the team (which is doubtful), then the coach just kicks her off the squad because she is not committed. I'm not sure she wants that outcome.

If the coach thinks he can kick off a 9th grade JV soccer player because she was making up a test or doing a single rescheduled-by-necessity academic tutoring session, his boss, the principal, can set him straight about that.

If a student is doing so poorly in a class that regular tutoring is a "necessity" something is VERY wrong. Either her teacher is horrible, or she is in a class that is far beyond her capabilities. The last thing this student needs is to be on a sports team.

Who says a kid needs to do bad to have a tutor? None of my kids have ever gotten anything less than a B+, they have always been excellent students. But as soon as they went into high school, I hired a tutor. Most of the time they honestly don’t need her, but the extra one-on-one review makes it very easy for them to earn As in tougher classes like honors calculus and AP math classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes
Sports is the very last place in public school where students are actually expected to adhere to decent values like honoring your commitments to something other than your own self.
You admit practice is only 2 hours out of the day. So the test and tutors couldn't be scheduled for any of the other 22 hours?
My kids have played intense sports and managed to do makeup tests before school, during lunch or free periods and doctors appointments etc during other hours.
I was thrilled to have them get a real life understanding of the commitments and sacrifices that are needed to excel in other areas of life.
Keep your meddling, snowflake coddling Karen hands off sports culture. The meddling has ruined every other aspect of public school.
Please and thanks.

Your child sounds like a lemming.

Sport is a great place to actually learn life lessons and one lesson is that you have to have priorities and that sometimes people will think they are the priority when they are not.

My son also is an athlete, D1, all American, T30 school, T10 sports rank.

Guess what, the sport is still not always #1.

You're teaching your kid to lack values and to allow a coach to dictate his values. Your kid is probably too scared to stand up to a coach, then too scared to stand up to a boss in the future.

Do better.

Please and thanks.

Exactly. And I’ll add that they dynamic is even worse when you are telling your daughter to never question the male coach who demands that he be her first priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes
Sports is the very last place in public school where students are actually expected to adhere to decent values like honoring your commitments to something other than your own self.
You admit practice is only 2 hours out of the day. So the test and tutors couldn't be scheduled for any of the other 22 hours?
My kids have played intense sports and managed to do makeup tests before school, during lunch or free periods and doctors appointments etc during other hours.
I was thrilled to have them get a real life understanding of the commitments and sacrifices that are needed to excel in other areas of life.
Keep your meddling, snowflake coddling Karen hands off sports culture. The meddling has ruined every other aspect of public school.
Please and thanks.

Your child sounds like a lemming.

Sport is a great place to actually learn life lessons and one lesson is that you have to have priorities and that sometimes people will think they are the priority when they are not.

My son also is an athlete, D1, all American, T30 school, T10 sports rank.

Guess what, the sport is still not always #1.

You're teaching your kid to lack values and to allow a coach to dictate his values. Your kid is probably too scared to stand up to a coach, then too scared to stand up to a boss in the future.

Do better.

Please and thanks.

Exactly. And I’ll add that they dynamic is even worse when you are telling your daughter to never question the male coach who demands that he be her first priority.

Thank you for adding that. My H worked in child abuse and children raised to never question authority are often a target. Women (and men) are often victims of abuse and learning at an early age to stand up for yourself is an important part of development.

Will they do it perfectly as a teen, no, but they need to grow and learn this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it is HS soccer- it is not the Olympics (or even the caliber of travel soccer). Tell the coach to pound sand.

Yes, but unless this girl is the best on the team (which is doubtful), then the coach just kicks her off the squad because she is not committed. I'm not sure she wants that outcome.

If the coach thinks he can kick off a 9th grade JV soccer player because she was making up a test or doing a single rescheduled-by-necessity academic tutoring session, his boss, the principal, can set him straight about that.

Absolutely. How has a screen shot of that text thread not been sent to the Principal already? Academics comes first. Period.

[Anonymous]

You can opt out. That's what we did. My kids redirected themselves to more sane places, spaces and pursuits. By continuing to fight for spots on those teams and adhere to that horrible, fear-driven culture you are supporting it.

[Anonymous]

Phew, OP, I just read through this whole thread. The vast responses agree that academics come before sports: test retakes, occasional tutoring sessions (no regular overlap with practices), and meeting with teachers after school to go over material that the child didn't understand in class. Doctor/dentist/therapist/orthodontics are fine sporadically (if they can't be scheduled at a different time, which a lot can't) because physical and mental health also come before sports. Overlapping sports for a week or two should be allowed if the child can give 50/50 to each sport during that transitional period, the parent should speak with the coach ahead of this. We are talking about a missed practice here and there during a season, this is not out of the ordinary. As adults, most of us (unfortunately not all) are provided with personal/sick days/flexibility to deal with life issues. This is just basic humanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's reasonable to expect the kids to attend every practice barring illness? Sounds like the kid scheduled something during a time she knew she had practice. If she called the coach to explain a dire situation like she was failing a class and desperately needed a session before a big exam, then I think it would've gone differently. But honestly, even JV, if you are on a team, you show up. If kids felt like they could be absent every now and then it really affects the team. If your goalie just didn't show up, what would you do? If the coach designed a practice around set pieces and the goalie decided she needed to see a tutor instead, how does that work? It's disrespectful. You show up unless you are ill. She knew the schedule for the team and she chose to be on it. Yes, the kids need to work with the coaches to let them know what's going on academically and the coach should be able to support that... but I wouldn't expect the coach to continually deal with kids scheduling stuff during practice time.

Agree.
My kid plays other HS sports, but that is the expectation. There were some kids that were injured the entire season, but still showed up to every single practice and game to cheer on their team mates.

The tutor rescheduling should have been done at a different time.

Playing for a club sport outside of school and time conflicts with HS team? Then don't try out for the HS team. Leave the spot for someone who can fully commit.

The coach shouldn't have yelled at these players. He should have just cut them from the team.

Do you know how hard it is to find a good tutor? Ours has a waiting list, and if she has an emergency and changes the meeting time, which has happened maybe twice in 3 years, we bend to her schedule. She meets once a week with my kids, and HS practice is every single day, Saturdays included. HS sports can bend so my children can do well in school, their #1 priority. They are not out there socializing and missing practice for trivia reasons, they are in academic tutoring. Playing a winter sports will overlap with a spring sport for a week or two. Coaches know this. It should be ok for kids to manage both commitments by offering each equal time for that one or two weeks of overlap. You are teaching you kids to finish a commitment and to manage difficult situations why communicating with their coaches about their schedule. Now, if you are doing a travel sport at the same time as a HS sport, that won't work, unless the practices/game times are completely different.

I do know how hard it is to find a good tutor which is why we pay ours for our time slot even if we can't attend. Like when there is a sports event. We understand and agreed to the commitment to the team.
-dp

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes
Sports is the very last place in public school where students are actually expected to adhere to decent values like honoring your commitments to something other than your own self.
You admit practice is only 2 hours out of the day. So the test and tutors couldn't be scheduled for any of the other 22 hours?
My kids have played intense sports and managed to do makeup tests before school, during lunch or free periods and doctors appointments etc during other hours.
I was thrilled to have them get a real life understanding of the commitments and sacrifices that are needed to excel in other areas of life.
Keep your meddling, snowflake coddling Karen hands off sports culture. The meddling has ruined every other aspect of public school.
Please and thanks.

Your child sounds like a lemming.

Sport is a great place to actually learn life lessons and one lesson is that you have to have priorities and that sometimes people will think they are the priority when they are not.

My son also is an athlete, D1, all American, T30 school, T10 sports rank.

Guess what, the sport is still not always #1.

You're teaching your kid to lack values and to allow a coach to dictate his values. Your kid is probably too scared to stand up to a coach, then too scared to stand up to a boss in the future.

Do better.

Please and thanks.

Exactly. And I’ll add that they dynamic is even worse when you are telling your daughter to never question the male coach who demands that he be her first priority.

Thank you for adding that. My H worked in child abuse and children raised to never question authority are often a target. Women (and men) are often victims of abuse and learning at an early age to stand up for yourself is an important part of development.

Will they do it perfectly as a teen, no, but they need to grow and learn this.

This is why people think moms are hysterical.

Step one: shirk a known commitment
?????????
Final: The coach is a predator!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's reasonable to expect the kids to attend every practice barring illness? Sounds like the kid scheduled something during a time she knew she had practice. If she called the coach to explain a dire situation like she was failing a class and desperately needed a session before a big exam, then I think it would've gone differently. But honestly, even JV, if you are on a team, you show up. If kids felt like they could be absent every now and then it really affects the team. If your goalie just didn't show up, what would you do? If the coach designed a practice around set pieces and the goalie decided she needed to see a tutor instead, how does that work? It's disrespectful. You show up unless you are ill. She knew the schedule for the team and she chose to be on it. Yes, the kids need to work with the coaches to let them know what's going on academically and the coach should be able to support that... but I wouldn't expect the coach to continually deal with kids scheduling stuff during practice time.

Agree.
My kid plays other HS sports, but that is the expectation. There were some kids that were injured the entire season, but still showed up to every single practice and game to cheer on their team mates.

The tutor rescheduling should have been done at a different time.

Playing for a club sport outside of school and time conflicts with HS team? Then don't try out for the HS team. Leave the spot for someone who can fully commit.

The coach shouldn't have yelled at these players. He should have just cut them from the team.

Do you know how hard it is to find a good tutor? Ours has a waiting list, and if she has an emergency and changes the meeting time, which has happened maybe twice in 3 years, we bend to her schedule. She meets once a week with my kids, and HS practice is every single day, Saturdays included. HS sports can bend so my children can do well in school, their #1 priority. They are not out there socializing and missing practice for trivia reasons, they are in academic tutoring. Playing a winter sports will overlap with a spring sport for a week or two. Coaches know this. It should be ok for kids to manage both commitments by offering each equal time for that one or two weeks of overlap. You are teaching you kids to finish a commitment and to manage difficult situations why communicating with their coaches about their schedule. Now, if you are doing a travel sport at the same time as a HS sport, that won't work, unless the practices/game times are completely different.

I do know how hard it is to find a good tutor which is why we pay ours for our time slot even if we can't attend. Like when there is a sports event. We understand and agreed to the commitment to the team.
-dp

It is just a HS team and it is just 1 practice. Academics do come first and it doesn't sound like this is a habit, but an unforseen situation. The student in question should have contacted the coach directly, not on the team chat, copying their parent b/c of safesport. I promise the coach wouldn't have responded that way if another adult was on the chat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it is HS soccer- it is not the Olympics (or even the caliber of travel soccer). Tell the coach to pound sand.

Yes, but unless this girl is the best on the team (which is doubtful), then the coach just kicks her off the squad because she is not committed. I'm not sure she wants that outcome.

If the coach thinks he can kick off a 9th grade JV soccer player because she was making up a test or doing a single rescheduled-by-necessity academic tutoring session, his boss, the principal, can set him straight about that.

If a student is doing so poorly in a class that regular tutoring is a "necessity" something is VERY wrong. Either her teacher is horrible, or she is in a class that is far beyond her capabilities. The last thing this student needs is to be on a sports team.

Who says a kid needs to do bad to have a tutor? None of my kids have ever gotten anything less than a B+, they have always been excellent students. But as soon as they went into high school, I hired a tutor. Most of the time they honestly don’t need her, but the extra one-on-one review makes it very easy for them to earn As in tougher classes like honors calculus and AP math classes.

This is why grades are meaningless.

Kids are better off getting a B by their own merits, than a B+ that their mommy bought for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes
Sports is the very last place in public school where students are actually expected to adhere to decent values like honoring your commitments to something other than your own self.
You admit practice is only 2 hours out of the day. So the test and tutors couldn't be scheduled for any of the other 22 hours?
My kids have played intense sports and managed to do makeup tests before school, during lunch or free periods and doctors appointments etc during other hours.
I was thrilled to have them get a real life understanding of the commitments and sacrifices that are needed to excel in other areas of life.
Keep your meddling, snowflake coddling Karen hands off sports culture. The meddling has ruined every other aspect of public school.
Please and thanks.

Your child sounds like a lemming.

Sport is a great place to actually learn life lessons and one lesson is that you have to have priorities and that sometimes people will think they are the priority when they are not.

My son also is an athlete, D1, all American, T30 school, T10 sports rank.

Guess what, the sport is still not always #1.

You're teaching your kid to lack values and to allow a coach to dictate his values. Your kid is probably too scared to stand up to a coach, then too scared to stand up to a boss in the future.

Do better.

Please and thanks.

Exactly. And I’ll add that they dynamic is even worse when you are telling your daughter to never question the male coach who demands that he be her first priority.

Thank you for adding that. My H worked in child abuse and children raised to never question authority are often a target. Women (and men) are often victims of abuse and learning at an early age to stand up for yourself is an important part of development.

Will they do it perfectly as a teen, no, but they need to grow and learn this.

This is why people think moms are hysterical.

Step one: shirk a known commitment
?????????
Final: The coach is a predator!!!!!!

The PP said none of those things. So who is hysterical now? And lay off the punctuation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:17:52 again. I’m a parent but also a high school teacher. Students do not miss practice to take a test after school at your school. Ever. They come to Mascot Period. Which school is this that regularly has kids missing practice to make up tests?

FTFY, teacher.