High School soccer insane expectations

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's reasonable to expect the kids to attend every practice barring illness? Sounds like the kid scheduled something during a time she knew she had practice. If she called the coach to explain a dire situation like she was failing a class and desperately needed a session before a big exam, then I think it would've gone differently. But honestly, even JV, if you are on a team, you show up. If kids felt like they could be absent every now and then it really affects the team. If your goalie just didn't show up, what would you do? If the coach designed a practice around set pieces and the goalie decided she needed to see a tutor instead, how does that work? It's disrespectful. You show up unless you are ill. She knew the schedule for the team and she chose to be on it. Yes, the kids need to work with the coaches to let them know what's going on academically and the coach should be able to support that... but I wouldn't expect the coach to continually deal with kids scheduling stuff during practice time.

Agree.
My kid plays other HS sports, but that is the expectation. There were some kids that were injured the entire season, but still showed up to every single practice and game to cheer on their team mates.

The tutor rescheduling should have been done at a different time.

Playing for a club sport outside of school and time conflicts with HS team? Then don't try out for the HS team. Leave the spot for someone who can fully commit.

The coach shouldn't have yelled at these players. He should have just cut them from the team.

[Anonymous]

This coach is wrong and you should let the principal and athletic director know. This kind of pressure is why kids kill themselves.

[Anonymous]

Our son was benched from games for having to miss due to an out of state funeral for a grandparent and also a choir performance which counted as a grade for his choir class. We would have understood not starting the next game, but were not happy about being completely benched for the entire game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter (9th grade) plays soccer at a FCPS. She is extremely stressed out because one of her teammates got very reprimanded via group chat by the coach because she sent a message in the group, letting the coach know that she couldn’t attend one practice because her tutor, who she meets once a week, had an emergency and had to reschedule her session during a practice. This is JV, they aren’t even any good and they already practice two hours a a day Monday through Saturday. The coach said that if you commit to playing soccer for their high school, you need to commit to attend every single practice, no excuses. If you break a leg, you’re expected to come in your cast and cheer for your team during every single practice. If you had a class scheduled or tutoring, the girls need to do everything possible not to schedule it during a practice, or they shouldn’t have to tried out to begin with. Another friend of DD who practices a winter sport outside of school, had her very last practice last week. It was her season ending practice, and they do a tournament. She would have absolutely let her team down had she not gone. She was yelled at by the coach. Another had a test make up scheduled after school and the coach was so angry at her because she should’ve scheduled that at a different time. Is this a thing in some sports? I find it ridiculous, he’s making the girls so stressed out. My daughter played a sport this past fall, and although they were expected to come to every single practice, the coaches were very clear that they were student athletes, and academics came first. So if they were overwhelmed with work, they could speak to the coach about will missing a practice. No one was yelled at for missing practice if they had to take a test make up after school.

Maybe a little over the top but you cite three examples of players putting something else before practice, so I'd say the coach has a point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter (9th grade) plays soccer at a FCPS. She is extremely stressed out because one of her teammates got very reprimanded via group chat by the coach because she sent a message in the group, letting the coach know that she couldn’t attend one practice because her tutor, who she meets once a week, had an emergency and had to reschedule her session during a practice. This is JV, they aren’t even any good and they already practice two hours a a day Monday through Saturday. The coach said that if you commit to playing soccer for their high school, you need to commit to attend every single practice, no excuses. If you break a leg, you’re expected to come in your cast and cheer for your team during every single practice. If you had a class scheduled or tutoring, the girls need to do everything possible not to schedule it during a practice, or they shouldn’t have to tried out to begin with. Another friend of DD who practices a winter sport outside of school, had her very last practice last week. It was her season ending practice, and they do a tournament. She would have absolutely let her team down had she not gone. She was yelled at by the coach. Another had a test make up scheduled after school and the coach was so angry at her because she should’ve scheduled that at a different time. Is this a thing in some sports? I find it ridiculous, he’s making the girls so stressed out. My daughter played a sport this past fall, and although they were expected to come to every single practice, the coaches were very clear that they were student athletes, and academics came first. So if they were overwhelmed with work, they could speak to the coach about will missing a practice. No one was yelled at for missing practice if they had to take a test make up after school.

Maybe a little over the top but you cite three examples of players putting something else before practice, so I'd say the coach has a point.

If it's a player regularly skipping practice, yes. But if it's once or twice? My kids both played HS sports and club/travel sports and missing a practice every once in a while was not a huge deal. Stuff happens -- illness, injury (and yes, you can go cheer on your team after the acute phase and perhaps do some type of conditioning), family travel, doctor's appointments, scholastic reasons.

If the coach has an issue (and I believe this issue is blown out of proportion by the coach) he/she can meet with the student in person, and not blast it through a group chat.

I also think six days a week is excessive. These kids need to rest their bodies and that 6th day is too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter (9th grade) plays soccer at a FCPS. She is extremely stressed out because one of her teammates got very reprimanded via group chat by the coach because she sent a message in the group, letting the coach know that she couldn’t attend one practice because her tutor, who she meets once a week, had an emergency and had to reschedule her session during a practice. This is JV, they aren’t even any good and they already practice two hours a a day Monday through Saturday. The coach said that if you commit to playing soccer for their high school, you need to commit to attend every single practice, no excuses. If you break a leg, you’re expected to come in your cast and cheer for your team during every single practice. If you had a class scheduled or tutoring, the girls need to do everything possible not to schedule it during a practice, or they shouldn’t have to tried out to begin with. Another friend of DD who practices a winter sport outside of school, had her very last practice last week. It was her season ending practice, and they do a tournament. She would have absolutely let her team down had she not gone. She was yelled at by the coach. Another had a test make up scheduled after school and the coach was so angry at her because she should’ve scheduled that at a different time. Is this a thing in some sports? I find it ridiculous, he’s making the girls so stressed out. My daughter played a sport this past fall, and although they were expected to come to every single practice, the coaches were very clear that they were student athletes, and academics came first. So if they were overwhelmed with work, they could speak to the coach about will missing a practice. No one was yelled at for missing practice if they had to take a test make up after school.

Maybe a little over the top but you cite three examples of players putting something else before practice, so I'd say the coach has a point.

If it's a player regularly skipping practice, yes. But if it's once or twice? My kids both played HS sports and club/travel sports and missing a practice every once in a while was not a huge deal. Stuff happens -- illness, injury (and yes, you can go cheer on your team after the acute phase and perhaps do some type of conditioning), family travel, doctor's appointments, scholastic reasons.

If the coach has an issue (and I believe this issue is blown out of proportion by the coach) he/she can meet with the student in person, and not blast it through a group chat.

I also think six days a week is excessive. These kids need to rest their bodies and that 6th day is too much.

Just read whole thread. This is best take. That is way too much practice. More than ECNL. Second -- a once and a while skip is ok. When you commit to a team in HS you do not leave the rest of your life to the side. This does not sound like a private because you could not get away with this. We are at a private and also play club soccer ------ club soccer comes first --- no exceptions -- that is where the college recruiting will be done not HS. HS is second. We started the year by saying this to HS coach. He has the option not to pick DC. That was not likely because DC is quite good but coach had the option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our son was benched from games for having to miss due to an out of state funeral for a grandparent and also a choir performance which counted as a grade for his choir class. We would have understood not starting the next game, but were not happy about being completely benched for the entire game.

was the coach skeptical of the excuse of just a no exceptions policy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter (9th grade) plays soccer at a FCPS. She is extremely stressed out because one of her teammates got very reprimanded via group chat by the coach because she sent a message in the group, letting the coach know that she couldn’t attend one practice because her tutor, who she meets once a week, had an emergency and had to reschedule her session during a practice. This is JV, they aren’t even any good and they already practice two hours a a day Monday through Saturday. The coach said that if you commit to playing soccer for their high school, you need to commit to attend every single practice, no excuses. If you break a leg, you’re expected to come in your cast and cheer for your team during every single practice. If you had a class scheduled or tutoring, the girls need to do everything possible not to schedule it during a practice, or they shouldn’t have to tried out to begin with. Another friend of DD who practices a winter sport outside of school, had her very last practice last week. It was her season ending practice, and they do a tournament. She would have absolutely let her team down had she not gone. She was yelled at by the coach. Another had a test make up scheduled after school and the coach was so angry at her because she should’ve scheduled that at a different time. Is this a thing in some sports? I find it ridiculous, he’s making the girls so stressed out. My daughter played a sport this past fall, and although they were expected to come to every single practice, the coaches were very clear that they were student athletes, and academics came first. So if they were overwhelmed with work, they could speak to the coach about will missing a practice. No one was yelled at for missing practice if they had to take a test make up after school.

Maybe a little over the top but you cite three examples of players putting something else before practice, so I'd say the coach has a point.

If it's a player regularly skipping practice, yes. But if it's once or twice? My kids both played HS sports and club/travel sports and missing a practice every once in a while was not a huge deal. Stuff happens -- illness, injury (and yes, you can go cheer on your team after the acute phase and perhaps do some type of conditioning), family travel, doctor's appointments, scholastic reasons.

If the coach has an issue (and I believe this issue is blown out of proportion by the coach) he/she can meet with the student in person, and not blast it through a group chat.

I also think six days a week is excessive. These kids need to rest their bodies and that 6th day is too much.

Just read whole thread. This is best take. That is way too much practice. More than ECNL. Second -- a once and a while skip is ok. When you commit to a team in HS you do not leave the rest of your life to the side. This does not sound like a private because you could not get away with this. We are at a private and also play club soccer ------ club soccer comes first --- no exceptions -- that is where the college recruiting will be done not HS. HS is second. We started the year by saying this to HS coach. He has the option not to pick DC. That was not likely because DC is quite good but coach had the option.

No, it's not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son was benched from games for having to miss due to an out of state funeral for a grandparent and also a choir performance which counted as a grade for his choir class. We would have understood not starting the next game, but were not happy about being completely benched for the entire game.

was the coach skeptical of the excuse of just a no exceptions policy?

It was a no exceptions policy - coach was a teacher at the same school and was absolutely aware of the choir performances (son was not the only player performing). Parents did not interact with the coach as players were directed to handle issues themselves (which we were absolutely fine with, club was the same way) - so I can't say whether the funeral was believed or not. This was a kid that never missed practices and would stay after to help pick up/put away equipment.

Broke his hand junior year right before tryouts for HS and had to have surgery - emailed all the coaches to let them know. Ended up just playing club that season instead (club played all year even in high school ages) once he was cleared. But drove himself to all club practices about an hour away after his surgery so he could see what they were working on in practice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son was benched from games for having to miss due to an out of state funeral for a grandparent and also a choir performance which counted as a grade for his choir class. We would have understood not starting the next game, but were not happy about being completely benched for the entire game.

was the coach skeptical of the excuse of just a no exceptions policy?

It was a no exceptions policy - coach was a teacher at the same school and was absolutely aware of the choir performances (son was not the only player performing). Parents did not interact with the coach as players were directed to handle issues themselves (which we were absolutely fine with, club was the same way) - so I can't say whether the funeral was believed or not. This was a kid that never missed practices and would stay after to help pick up/put away equipment.

Broke his hand junior year right before tryouts for HS and had to have surgery - emailed all the coaches to let them know. Ended up just playing club that season instead (club played all year even in high school ages) once he was cleared. But drove himself to all club practices about an hour away after his surgery so he could see what they were working on in practice.

If the coach is benching a kid for going to a graded assignment, I'd complain to the principal and regional superintendent, that would do nothing. If the coach says anything at all to the kid, I'd file a retaliation claim and hope that gets them fired

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's reasonable to expect the kids to attend every practice barring illness? Sounds like the kid scheduled something during a time she knew she had practice. If she called the coach to explain a dire situation like she was failing a class and desperately needed a session before a big exam, then I think it would've gone differently. But honestly, even JV, if you are on a team, you show up. If kids felt like they could be absent every now and then it really affects the team. If your goalie just didn't show up, what would you do? If the coach designed a practice around set pieces and the goalie decided she needed to see a tutor instead, how does that work? It's disrespectful. You show up unless you are ill. She knew the schedule for the team and she chose to be on it. Yes, the kids need to work with the coaches to let them know what's going on academically and the coach should be able to support that... but I wouldn't expect the coach to continually deal with kids scheduling stuff during practice time.

Yep, DP and I 100 percent agree with this.

I think there are two questions: 1) are the expectations insane? No, not in my opinion given the level of competitiveness around here for team sports. Players should be at every practice. My DD's JV coach said they show up even if injured. 2) Should the communications have been handled differently? Yes, on both sides. There's no need for the coach to be an ass, but also, the players should approach the coach separately and talk to him NOT in a group chat. They are playing for their high school, it's not rec -- it's highly competitive (doesn't matter if the team is bad) and there are presumably many kids who would want a spot that didn't get one.

+1 I’ll add that while I agree the coach handled this poorly, OP’s child’s teammate may have gotten a different reaction had she spoken to the coach directly ahead of time about the conflict. He may have felt he didn’t want a precedent where players think it’s fine to announce to the group chat that they plan to skip practice for whatever reason. This is a good lesson for all the kids on the team to learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not saying it is right -- but, yes, these are the expectations for high school soccer in our area.

Well it shouldn't be. They are STUDENT athletes. And the student should come first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not saying it is right -- but, yes, these are the expectations for high school soccer in our area.

Well it shouldn't be. They are STUDENT athletes. And the student should come first.

You obviously don't have a kid doing Sports at all. The expectations/commitment is that you do both.

So next time, give some respect to kids and their families who are doing it. It is not for everyone for sure, but please don't take away a spot from someone who is whiling to give 100%.

#soccermom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not saying it is right -- but, yes, these are the expectations for high school soccer in our area.

Well it shouldn't be. They are STUDENT athletes. And the student should come first.

As with other extracurriculars, one of the great things about participating in sports while in school is that it helps teach time management and helps develop executive functioning skills. Kids participating on teams need to know their calendars so they can schedule appointments appropriately so they don't interfere with other commitments, including their athletic commitments. There is almost always more than one slot available to schedule an appointment, be it for tutoring, medical reasons, etc. If you cannot or will not think about how your practice or game schedule factors into your other activities, then high school sports is not for you.

[Anonymous]

OP is hyperbolizing to say her kids is "extremely stressed" that a teammate was reprimanded for her lack of commitment. OP has just probably never been on a team and can't understand its value.