High School soccer insane expectations

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it is HS soccer- it is not the Olympics (or even the caliber of travel soccer). Tell the coach to pound sand.

Exactly. Stop promoting the insanity. This nonsense is why the world is laughing at us, especially Beijing.

[Anonymous]

My friend's daughter is top athlete who's daughter is nationally ranked. The amount of BS her daughter has needed to address with coaches in insane. They can be crazy controlling and it's not OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to be clear, it there actual yelling going on about this from the coach to the girls? People claim yelling for reprimanding, criticism, or correcting a lot- but it isn’t the same thing

+1. Maybe he did actually yell. But one of my DD's says we "yelled" at her if we simply correct her or remind her in an annoyed tone that she forget her chores or something. She considers that "yelling" at her.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's reasonable to expect the kids to attend every practice barring illness? Sounds like the kid scheduled something during a time she knew she had practice. If she called the coach to explain a dire situation like she was failing a class and desperately needed a session before a big exam, then I think it would've gone differently. But honestly, even JV, if you are on a team, you show up. If kids felt like they could be absent every now and then it really affects the team. If your goalie just didn't show up, what would you do? If the coach designed a practice around set pieces and the goalie decided she needed to see a tutor instead, how does that work? It's disrespectful. You show up unless you are ill. She knew the schedule for the team and she chose to be on it. Yes, the kids need to work with the coaches to let them know what's going on academically and the coach should be able to support that... but I wouldn't expect the coach to continually deal with kids scheduling stuff during practice time.

I agree with this. OP’s examples of a kid playing a winter sport with schedule conflicts and another’s private tutor session being rescheduled seem like those are avoidable, or in the case of the winter sports, known beforehand and should have been cleared.

Coaches should absolutely have a blanket policy you need to attend every practice. Sure things may come up with kids but what conflict is avoidable and unavoidable is open to interpretation.

[Anonymous]

Completely over the top. For all we know that was the only time the tutor had available. The coach could be annoyed, sure, but that is not the way to address it with the student or the team.

My boys actually quit their high school team sports because it was not worth it to them due to the toxicity and all consuming nature (cultish) atmosphere needed to be a high achiever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At our high school, kids are permitted to miss practices and matches under the following circumstances: 1) an academic event (so like presenting at a math night would be ok, studying for a test would not be an excuse; making up a test if that were the only time the teacher were available would be fine); 2) a mandatory band or orchestra event; 3) a family emergency; and 4) illness.
That seems fairly reasonable to me.

+1. Our JV soccer coach told the kids they are students first, athletes (and everything else) second. They were expected to attend every practice but to talk with the coach directly about homework/schoolwork issues. The coach also teaches at the HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter (9th grade) plays soccer at a FCPS. She is extremely stressed out because one of her teammates got very reprimanded via group chat by the coach because she sent a message in the group, letting the coach know that she couldn’t attend one practice because her tutor, who she meets once a week, had an emergency and had to reschedule her session during a practice. This is JV, they aren’t even any good and they already practice two hours a a day Monday through Saturday. The coach said that if you commit to playing soccer for their high school, you need to commit to attend every single practice, no excuses. If you break a leg, you’re expected to come in your cast and cheer for your team during every single practice. If you had a class scheduled or tutoring, the girls need to do everything possible not to schedule it during a practice, or they shouldn’t have to tried out to begin with. Another friend of DD who practices a winter sport outside of school, had her very last practice last week. It was her season ending practice, and they do a tournament. She would have absolutely let her team down had she not gone. She was yelled at by the coach. Another had a test make up scheduled after school and the coach was so angry at her because she should’ve scheduled that at a different time. Is this a thing in some sports? I find it ridiculous, he’s making the girls so stressed out. My daughter played a sport this past fall, and although they were expected to come to every single practice, the coaches were very clear that they were student athletes, and academics came first. So if they were overwhelmed with work, they could speak to the coach about will missing a practice. No one was yelled at for missing practice if they had to take a test make up after school.

I don't think the expectation to attend every single practice (no excuses) is irrational. That's the norm.

Maybe his tone/approach is a bit harsh. Sounds like my son's Freshman Football coach.

My oldest in Varsity Soccer learned in JV a few years ago, No excuses, mean no excuses.

[Anonymous]

Some of the coaches think they’re god. Stick to your guns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter (9th grade) plays soccer at a FCPS. She is extremely stressed out because one of her teammates got very reprimanded via group chat by the coach because she sent a message in the group, letting the coach know that she couldn’t attend one practice because her tutor, who she meets once a week, had an emergency and had to reschedule her session during a practice. This is JV, they aren’t even any good and they already practice two hours a a day Monday through Saturday. The coach said that if you commit to playing soccer for their high school, you need to commit to attend every single practice, no excuses. If you break a leg, you’re expected to come in your cast and cheer for your team during every single practice. If you had a class scheduled or tutoring, the girls need to do everything possible not to schedule it during a practice, or they shouldn’t have to tried out to begin with. Another friend of DD who practices a winter sport outside of school, had her very last practice last week. It was her season ending practice, and they do a tournament. She would have absolutely let her team down had she not gone. She was yelled at by the coach. Another had a test make up scheduled after school and the coach was so angry at her because she should’ve scheduled that at a different time. Is this a thing in some sports? I find it ridiculous, he’s making the girls so stressed out. My daughter played a sport this past fall, and although they were expected to come to every single practice, the coaches were very clear that they were student athletes, and academics came first. So if they were overwhelmed with work, they could speak to the coach about will missing a practice. No one was yelled at for missing practice if they had to take a test make up after school.

I don't think the expectation to attend every single practice (no excuses) is irrational. That's the norm.

Maybe his tone/approach is a bit harsh. Sounds like my son's Freshman Football coach.

My oldest in Varsity Soccer learned in JV a few years ago, No excuses, mean no excuses.

Why should coaches demand so much of athletes that they can’t attend to their studies (seeing a tutor), or health (making doctor appointments) or participate in other activities? It’s not sustainable and makes for an unhappy team.

[Anonymous]

I’m all for teaching kids the value of commitment to the group and responsibility and all that. But in my adult life that includes work and significant civic involvement, there is no group I’m a part of it doesn’t understand that sometimes conflicts come up. I hate the inflexibility of high school sports and I don’t even have superstar athletes, just kids who like to play. I can’t even imagine the pressure on the real high performers. I will also say that my kid who was more involved in debate, theater, and MUN as her activities found FAR more flexibility among those coaches and directors than my sports kid, and those were also activities that were being done at a fairly competitive level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter (9th grade) plays soccer at a FCPS. She is extremely stressed out because one of her teammates got very reprimanded via group chat by the coach because she sent a message in the group, letting the coach know that she couldn’t attend one practice because her tutor, who she meets once a week, had an emergency and had to reschedule her session during a practice. This is JV, they aren’t even any good and they already practice two hours a a day Monday through Saturday. The coach said that if you commit to playing soccer for their high school, you need to commit to attend every single practice, no excuses. If you break a leg, you’re expected to come in your cast and cheer for your team during every single practice. If you had a class scheduled or tutoring, the girls need to do everything possible not to schedule it during a practice, or they shouldn’t have to tried out to begin with. Another friend of DD who practices a winter sport outside of school, had her very last practice last week. It was her season ending practice, and they do a tournament. She would have absolutely let her team down had she not gone. She was yelled at by the coach. Another had a test make up scheduled after school and the coach was so angry at her because she should’ve scheduled that at a different time. Is this a thing in some sports? I find it ridiculous, he’s making the girls so stressed out. My daughter played a sport this past fall, and although they were expected to come to every single practice, the coaches were very clear that they were student athletes, and academics came first. So if they were overwhelmed with work, they could speak to the coach about will missing a practice. No one was yelled at for missing practice if they had to take a test make up after school.

I don't think the expectation to attend every single practice (no excuses) is irrational. That's the norm.

Maybe his tone/approach is a bit harsh. Sounds like my son's Freshman Football coach.

My oldest in Varsity Soccer learned in JV a few years ago, No excuses, mean no excuses.

Why should coaches demand so much of athletes that they can’t attend to their studies (seeing a tutor), or health (making doctor appointments) or participate in other activities? It’s not sustainable and makes for an unhappy team.

If the kids cannot fully commit they should leave the spot for another kid who is willing to fully commit 2/3 months of the year. Tutors can be arranged after 6pm. Doctors appointment can be done early in the morning, etc. Believe me as a parent, I've done it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend's daughter is top athlete who's daughter is nationally ranked. The amount of BS her daughter has needed to address with coaches in insane. They can be crazy controlling and it's not OK.

Once you get good enough you can tell coaches to f$&k off. My kid plays basketball and it’s been liberating realizing how much better it is playing for a coach where there is mutual respect not just red faced screaming

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not saying it is right -- but, yes, these are the expectations for high school soccer in our area.

A-hole coaches? Yep. The soccer coaches are at our high school too.

Same for our MCPS school. My kid decided not to even try out. Plays soccer outside of school instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter (9th grade) plays soccer at a FCPS. She is extremely stressed out because one of her teammates got very reprimanded via group chat by the coach because she sent a message in the group, letting the coach know that she couldn’t attend one practice because her tutor, who she meets once a week, had an emergency and had to reschedule her session during a practice. This is JV, they aren’t even any good and they already practice two hours a a day Monday through Saturday. The coach said that if you commit to playing soccer for their high school, you need to commit to attend every single practice, no excuses. If you break a leg, you’re expected to come in your cast and cheer for your team during every single practice. If you had a class scheduled or tutoring, the girls need to do everything possible not to schedule it during a practice, or they shouldn’t have to tried out to begin with. Another friend of DD who practices a winter sport outside of school, had her very last practice last week. It was her season ending practice, and they do a tournament. She would have absolutely let her team down had she not gone. She was yelled at by the coach. Another had a test make up scheduled after school and the coach was so angry at her because she should’ve scheduled that at a different time. Is this a thing in some sports? I find it ridiculous, he’s making the girls so stressed out. My daughter played a sport this past fall, and although they were expected to come to every single practice, the coaches were very clear that they were student athletes, and academics came first. So if they were overwhelmed with work, they could speak to the coach about will missing a practice. No one was yelled at for missing practice if they had to take a test make up after school.

I don't think the expectation to attend every single practice (no excuses) is irrational. That's the norm.

Maybe his tone/approach is a bit harsh. Sounds like my son's Freshman Football coach.

My oldest in Varsity Soccer learned in JV a few years ago, No excuses, mean no excuses.

Why should coaches demand so much of athletes that they can’t attend to their studies (seeing a tutor), or health (making doctor appointments) or participate in other activities? It’s not sustainable and makes for an unhappy team.

If the kids cannot fully commit they should leave the spot for another kid who is willing to fully commit 2/3 months of the year. Tutors can be arranged after 6pm. Doctors appointment can be done early in the morning, etc. Believe me as a parent, I've done it.

Exactly this. Because it’s soccer, which is SUPER competitive in this area, so there’s always someone willing to adhere to the strict rules to play. They’re plenty of kids that don’t make the team! They’d gladly take your kids place.
I don’t agree with it, but this is how it is here. That’s why my kids changed sports.

[Anonymous]

Academics come first. Worshipping at the altar of youth sports is ridiculous and gives these children an inflated sense of self importance (the coaches even more so).

Commitment yes, don't slack off and just miss a practice because you aren't feeling it. But tutoring session once? absolutely