Marrying a nice rich guy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why “a man is not a plan” and marrying comfortable/well off are somehow mutually exclusive, or why marrying wealthy somehow means not also making money.

I would much rather my daughter have her career prospects widened and her stress level lowered by marrying a man with money than have to choose every job based on whether she can keep a roof over her head.

Money is a major factor in divorce and lower HHI corresponds to higher divorce rate. No one gives you a medal for marrying a poor partner and struggling and acting like people who marry wealthy don’t marry for love is ridiculous.

I'd rather my daughter be able to keep a roof over her head independently of a man.

She marry wealthy as well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know plenty of heterosexual nice guys who are nearing 40 who want to get married and have a family. They were working their butts off to make money in their younger years because they did not come from wealthy backgrounds.

Unfortunately, all they are getting are gold-diggers women without family values. So they are also stuck.

This is BS.

Do these men live in a bubble?

There are women where they work, women where they live. They have family, friends and acquaintances who know great women.

I guess the first red flag would be that a man chose to stay single until his 49s just because he wanted to " make money in his younger years". It tells you how important money is to him. He is just attracting female versions of himself.

The generalizations on this thread in all directions are over the top. Just saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why “a man is not a plan” and marrying comfortable/well off are somehow mutually exclusive, or why marrying wealthy somehow means not also making money.

I would much rather my daughter have her career prospects widened and her stress level lowered by marrying a man with money than have to choose every job based on whether she can keep a roof over her head.

Money is a major factor in divorce and lower HHI corresponds to higher divorce rate. No one gives you a medal for marrying a poor partner and struggling and acting like people who marry wealthy don’t marry for love is ridiculous.

Yup. Relying solely on your income is a stool with one leg (for both partners).

Divorced single mom with full custody and yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is with the repeated threads in recent months about meeting and marrying wealthy people? Do that many of the posters on this site crave wealth and use it as a yardstick for measuring dates? Do people just hope to stop working as soon as possible in their lives and live off what a spouse brings to the marriage? How transactional and mercenary. Yeah, I'm judging and I own the fact I'm judging. It just screams "I want to be 'kept.'" And no amount of excuses like "But! I only desire for our kids to want for nothing!" or "I fear being poor because I was raised poor" or other supposed "reasons" could stop this thinking from being mercenary.

It's the hypergamy crowd. Entire YouTube and TikTok channels dedicated to " leveling up". While generation of women who want to get chose and live the Instagram life

[Anonymous]

It’s not gold digging to want to marry someone who can add to the stability you can already provide for yourself. At a certain point if you want to leverage your life and keep a lot of balls in the air it takes two people. Sure I can support myself and my kid on my FT income of $220K but I could have more kids and a higher quality of life for us all if I marry someone who makes the same or more. That’s just common sense. And also, what happens if one of you gets sick or disabled? Or life happens? As PP said, relying on one income is a stool with one leg.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone here marry a very well off man they met past the age of 28 who is also a truly nice guy. Or is the hope for this pretty much over if you didn't go to school together or something?

OP - guy here. just curious what your definition of well off is in term of income/assets?

Very well off is NW over $12-15.

Np.

I don’t think there are any self made guys with 12-15m who are late 20’s/30’s and single in this area

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not gold digging to want to marry someone who can add to the stability you can already provide for yourself. At a certain point if you want to leverage your life and keep a lot of balls in the air it takes two people. Sure I can support myself and my kid on my FT income of $220K but I could have more kids and a higher quality of life for us all if I marry someone who makes the same or more. That’s just common sense. And also, what happens if one of you gets sick or disabled? Or life happens? As PP said, relying on one income is a stool with one leg.

You’re not asking for “stability”. Be honest. You’re asking for an affluent lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

This kind of post really sets women back.

For the 100th time: a man is not a plan!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not gold digging to want to marry someone who can add to the stability you can already provide for yourself. At a certain point if you want to leverage your life and keep a lot of balls in the air it takes two people. Sure I can support myself and my kid on my FT income of $220K but I could have more kids and a higher quality of life for us all if I marry someone who makes the same or more. That’s just common sense. And also, what happens if one of you gets sick or disabled? Or life happens? As PP said, relying on one income is a stool with one leg.

OP here. This is my line of thinking as well. I am not a gold digger and I earn good money on my own. I want a partner who earns more than me to increase our stability, and provide flexibility for me to be the type
of mother I’d like to be. I make no judgements about those who choose to live differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This kind of post really sets women back.

For the 100th time: a man is not a plan!!

Oh shut up.

You are setting yourself back with illogical statements like the one above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This kind of post really sets women back.

For the 100th time: a man is not a plan!!

Such plans often fail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not gold digging to want to marry someone who can add to the stability you can already provide for yourself. At a certain point if you want to leverage your life and keep a lot of balls in the air it takes two people. Sure I can support myself and my kid on my FT income of $220K but I could have more kids and a higher quality of life for us all if I marry someone who makes the same or more. That’s just common sense. And also, what happens if one of you gets sick or disabled? Or life happens? As PP said, relying on one income is a stool with one leg.

OP here. This is my line of thinking as well. I am not a gold digger and I earn good money on my own. I want a partner who earns more than me to increase our stability, and provide flexibility for me to be the type
of mother I’d like to be. I make no judgements about those who choose to live differently.

How much stability do you need? What's rich?

It looks like the kind of stability you need can be gotten from anti- anxiety meds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone here marry a very well off man they met past the age of 28 who is also a truly nice guy. Or is the hope for this pretty much over if you didn't go to school together or something?

Any truly nice guy will realize that you were actively searching for a "very well off man" or that it was a huge, huge plus for you... and will recognize that your shallow priorities and view of the world don't align with his. He's not going to want you.

Similarly shallow men will be going for the 25 year olds. So yeah, I'd say after 28, you're SOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why “a man is not a plan” and marrying comfortable/well off are somehow mutually exclusive, or why marrying wealthy somehow means not also making money.

I would much rather my daughter have her career prospects widened and her stress level lowered by marrying a man with money than have to choose every job based on whether she can keep a roof over her head.

Money is a major factor in divorce and lower HHI corresponds to higher divorce rate. No one gives you a medal for marrying a poor partner and struggling and acting like people who marry wealthy don’t marry for love is ridiculous.

I'd rather my daughter be able to keep a roof over her head independently of a man.

She marry wealthy as well

I think you misread. Of course my daughter will be able to keep a roof over her head, but I would like her to have what I do which is the freedom to choose jobs based on more than finances, which is only possibly in a household with two high earners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not gold digging to want to marry someone who can add to the stability you can already provide for yourself. At a certain point if you want to leverage your life and keep a lot of balls in the air it takes two people. Sure I can support myself and my kid on my FT income of $220K but I could have more kids and a higher quality of life for us all if I marry someone who makes the same or more. That’s just common sense. And also, what happens if one of you gets sick or disabled? Or life happens? As PP said, relying on one income is a stool with one leg.

OP here. This is my line of thinking as well. I am not a gold digger and I earn good money on my own. I want a partner who earns more than me to increase our stability, and provide flexibility for me to be the type
of mother I’d like to be. I make no judgements about those who choose to live differently.

Hi, that's the definition of a gold digger. If you make $100k, and are looking for someone similar ($65k-$135k or higher) then that's reasonable. If you're making $220k as you're pretty well established (with kids already), then yeah, you can probably find a fellow 40 something with an income of $145k-$286k or higher.

But if you're setting your income as a floor? Gold digger.