Marrying a nice rich guy

[Anonymous]

I think this question is kind of weird but I’ll bite. I met DH when he was late 20s and was making less than $100k/year. He’s now late 30s and makes seven figures. If I had been looking for someone with a certain income at that age, I think I would have filtered out most of the nice guys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know plenty of heterosexual nice guys who are nearing 40 who want to get married and have a family. They were working their butts off to make money in their younger years because they did not come from wealthy backgrounds.

Unfortunately, all they are getting are gold-diggers women without family values. So they are also stuck.

Tell us what you really mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know plenty of heterosexual nice guys who are nearing 40 who want to get married and have a family. They were working their butts off to make money in their younger years because they did not come from wealthy backgrounds.

Unfortunately, all they are getting are gold-diggers women without family values. So they are also stuck.

Tell us what you really mean.

PP means these " nice " guys cannot differentiate between fwbs and women looking for something serious.

They are thinking with the brains between their legs.

Nice and dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kind of post really sets women back.

For the 100th time: a man is not a plan!!

Such plans often fail.

if you are ugly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did at around 32. Just as easy to fall in love with someone wealthy as someone poor!

This is a BS line spun by gold diggers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not gold digging to want to marry someone who can add to the stability you can already provide for yourself. At a certain point if you want to leverage your life and keep a lot of balls in the air it takes two people. Sure I can support myself and my kid on my FT income of $220K but I could have more kids and a higher quality of life for us all if I marry someone who makes the same or more. That’s just common sense. And also, what happens if one of you gets sick or disabled? Or life happens? As PP said, relying on one income is a stool with one leg.

OP here. This is my line of thinking as well. I am not a gold digger and I earn good money on my own. I want a partner who earns more than me to increase our stability, and provide flexibility for me to be the type
of mother I’d like to be. I make no judgements about those who choose to live differently.

Hi, that's the definition of a gold digger. If you make $100k, and are looking for someone similar ($65k-$135k or higher) then that's reasonable. If you're making $220k as you're pretty well established (with kids already), then yeah, you can probably find a fellow 40 something with an income of $145k-$286k or higher.

But if you're setting your income as a floor? Gold digger.

I wanted to marry someone who made/makes at least as much as I do (over $300k) and I found him, so that makes me a gold digger? We met when I was in my early thirties and he was a bit older. He's really nice 95% of the time and the other 5% of the time he's human.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This kind of post really sets women back.

For the 100th time: a man is not a plan!!

Oh shut up.

You are setting yourself back with illogical statements like the one above.

+1. I don't care what how many advances women make, there are certain industries that are easier for men to have a real career in (Big Law, tech, finance). Unless these women don't want to have any babies...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did not.

If you go for money, you will likely have to give up something else - age, looks, or personality. No free rides most the time.

Why dont women understand everything comes with a price.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know why all the shade Op. You can fall in love with anyone, but falling in love with a nice man who make a high income is so much better than falling in love with a nice poor man. Money makes everything easier.

Definitely possible to still meet a good catch at 28. They aren’t all snapped up- though the herd has thinned

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is with the repeated threads in recent months about meeting and marrying wealthy people? Do that many of the posters on this site crave wealth and use it as a yardstick for measuring dates? Do people just hope to stop working as soon as possible in their lives and live off what a spouse brings to the marriage? How transactional and mercenary. Yeah, I'm judging and I own the fact I'm judging. It just screams "I want to be 'kept.'" And no amount of excuses like "But! I only desire for our kids to want for nothing!" or "I fear being poor because I was raised poor" or other supposed "reasons" could stop this thinking from being mercenary.

The bolded is your answers.

Also, it's a sign of the times. The growing divide between the haves and the have nots are forcing people (particularly) women to be strategic in who they marry and procreate with. Wealth begets wealth.

Also, successful people in the public eye keeping telling the masses "Who you marry is the most important decision you will make".

People have taken that statement and have turned it into a religion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not gold digging to want to marry someone who can add to the stability you can already provide for yourself. At a certain point if you want to leverage your life and keep a lot of balls in the air it takes two people. Sure I can support myself and my kid on my FT income of $220K but I could have more kids and a higher quality of life for us all if I marry someone who makes the same or more. That’s just common sense. And also, what happens if one of you gets sick or disabled? Or life happens? As PP said, relying on one income is a stool with one leg.

You’re not asking for “stability”. Be honest. You’re asking for an affluent lifestyle.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is with the repeated threads in recent months about meeting and marrying wealthy people? Do that many of the posters on this site crave wealth and use it as a yardstick for measuring dates? Do people just hope to stop working as soon as possible in their lives and live off what a spouse brings to the marriage? How transactional and mercenary. Yeah, I'm judging and I own the fact I'm judging. It just screams "I want to be 'kept.'" And no amount of excuses like "But! I only desire for our kids to want for nothing!" or "I fear being poor because I was raised poor" or other supposed "reasons" could stop this thinking from being mercenary.

It’s disgusting.

Make your own gdamn $ !!

I really loathe “the man is the plan” thinking and parents that instill this type of thinking in their daughters are just gross people in 2023.

? Every SAHM with kids in school and no major caregiver responsibilities is modeling that.

How are women with “major caregiver responsibilities” NOT modeling that? Of course they are.

Taking care of family is different from having the stress of being the primary breadwinner. Of course there are responsibilities as a stay at home parent, but the bottom line is that your family will still have a home, medical care and food if you mess up. If you are the primary breadwinner and f-up all that can be gone. Stakes and responsibilities are higher if you are financial provider.

[Anonymous]

When I married my husband, I was 20 and he drove 1998 car that was filthy and smelled.

He's a hard worker and so am I.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make your own damn money.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did at around 32. Just as easy to fall in love with someone wealthy as someone poor!

This is a BS line spun by gold diggers.

What? Why do you think poor people are somehow more lovable? Are you really attracted to credit card debt or something?