Are men happier than women in marriage at midlife?

[Anonymous]

*piece

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: like giving kids hot dogs every time it's their turn to make dinner.

This is not really apropos of the conversation, but one time when the kids were little, I made them hot dogs and strawberries. They were absolutely scarfing down the strawberries and I found myself saying, "no more strawberries until you eat your hot dog." And then I thought to myself, "holy shit, did I really just cut them off from fruit until they eat this processed meat product?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:*piece

Yup. Piercing costs extra.

[Anonymous]

There are many many terrible wives.

Men just don't say anything about it and stay married. That's why men die earlier. Stress of being married to a terrible wive for decades.

It's a lot cheaper to stay married to a terrible wife than a divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men start becoming unhappy once the first baby is born
I’d say most on line virtually cheat

My ex definitely fell off the cliff of happiness once the second was born. I learned later his dad did when the third was born. Why is this? Expectations went down for both of them. My theory is that they feel they are replaced.

Because multiple children = financial ruination, no sleep, and a sexless life for decades after they're born.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is actual research on this - marriage is generally very beneficial for men and not for women. In most marriages the woman is handling so much of what makes a life enjoyable - men benefit from that and women resent the imbalance.

It’s this. Women are over it because they feel like their DH is another child to care for and clean up after. Men are happy because they’ve successfully replaced their mother. They might be unhappy with the amount of sex, but also might recognize that being single at their age doesn’t guarantee much more sex than a reasonable healthy marriage, plus that sex would come with the burden of having to actually put effort into attracting a woman. You think these guys are prepared to romance a woman who doesn’t do all their laundry and make sure their kids have summer childcare and plan their vacations and remember their mom’s birthday and put up with even their shittiest friends? They are not prepared. They know the score and most of these guys are significantly better off staying married, even when it comes to sex.

Meanwhile, women fantasize about joint custody agreements that would force their DHs to actually do childcare, plus living in a home that is not shared with a grown adult who never cleans the bathroom or changes the sheets. There are tons of downsides to divorce but the upsides really target the pressure points for women— too little help with kids and the house, no alone time or true free time.

Men fantasize about dying earlier to get out of the jail known as marriage. Many are able to live that dream.

Marriage overwhelmingly benefits women. Women make less money than men. So many women have low paying, low quality jobs or don't work at all and rely entirely on their husbands for their financial survival. If there's a divorce, they still come out ahead by taking half. Marriage is a terrible proposal for men they leads to financial ruin. No wonder men want to put a lot less effort into it when it is a raw deal to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are many many terrible wives.

Men just don't say anything about it and stay married. That's why men die earlier. Stress of being married to a terrible wive for decades.

It's a lot cheaper to stay married to a terrible wife than a divorce.

So they just die earlier instead?

Lol, brilliant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are many many terrible wives.

Men just don't say anything about it and stay married. That's why men die earlier. Stress of being married to a terrible wive for decades.

It's a lot cheaper to stay married to a terrible wife than a divorce.

You are a terrible husband. I can tell because people who value marriage don't talk like this. Even those married to horrible people. They still value the system. This is just a projection of your own inability to appreciate marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is actual research on this - marriage is generally very beneficial for men and not for women. In most marriages the woman is handling so much of what makes a life enjoyable - men benefit from that and women resent the imbalance.

It’s this. Women are over it because they feel like their DH is another child to care for and clean up after. Men are happy because they’ve successfully replaced their mother. They might be unhappy with the amount of sex, but also might recognize that being single at their age doesn’t guarantee much more sex than a reasonable healthy marriage, plus that sex would come with the burden of having to actually put effort into attracting a woman. You think these guys are prepared to romance a woman who doesn’t do all their laundry and make sure their kids have summer childcare and plan their vacations and remember their mom’s birthday and put up with even their shittiest friends? They are not prepared. They know the score and most of these guys are significantly better off staying married, even when it comes to sex.

Meanwhile, women fantasize about joint custody agreements that would force their DHs to actually do childcare, plus living in a home that is not shared with a grown adult who never cleans the bathroom or changes the sheets. There are tons of downsides to divorce but the upsides really target the pressure points for women— too little help with kids and the house, no alone time or true free time.

Men fantasize about dying earlier to get out of the jail known as marriage. Many are able to live that dream.

Marriage overwhelmingly benefits women. Women make less money than men. So many women have low paying, low quality jobs or don't work at all and rely entirely on their husbands for their financial survival. If there's a divorce, they still come out ahead by taking half. Marriage is a terrible proposal for men they leads to financial ruin. No wonder men want to put a lot less effort into it when it is a raw deal to begin with.

Not one sentence this is accurate, except for the part about women having lower-paying jobs. There is a reason for that: gender discrimination, both because of employer bias and the fact that women are usually the ones expected to make career sacrifices so they can better care for their children.

But I see that you are really enjoying your victim mentality here, so I understand it if you want to disregard facts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are many many terrible wives.

Men just don't say anything about it and stay married. That's why men die earlier. Stress of being married to a terrible wive for decades.

It's a lot cheaper to stay married to a terrible wife than a divorce.

So they just die earlier instead?

Lol, brilliant.

LOL. Married men are healthier than single or divorced men.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/marriage-and-mens-health

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are many many terrible wives.

Men just don't say anything about it and stay married. That's why men die earlier. Stress of being married to a terrible wive for decades.

It's a lot cheaper to stay married to a terrible wife than a divorce.

So they just die earlier instead?

Lol, brilliant.

LOL. Married men are healthier than single or divorced men.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/marriage-and-mens-health

I know, I was just getting a kick out of PP's comment.

[Anonymous]

How many articles do you need to see that marriage does not kill a man?

https://sciencenorway.no/demography-social-relations-society/dramatic-increase-in-mortality-among-the-unmarried/1653180

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are many many terrible wives.

Men just don't say anything about it and stay married. That's why men die earlier. Stress of being married to a terrible wive for decades.

It's a lot cheaper to stay married to a terrible wife than a divorce.

So they just die earlier instead?

Lol, brilliant.

It is..

Who wants to stay in a culturally imposed jail for longer than is necessary?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are many many terrible wives.

Men just don't say anything about it and stay married. That's why men die earlier. Stress of being married to a terrible wive for decades.

It's a lot cheaper to stay married to a terrible wife than a divorce.

You are a terrible husband. I can tell because people who value marriage don't talk like this. Even those married to horrible people. They still value the system. This is just a projection of your own inability to appreciate marriage.

You're just a shill for crappy institutions and traditions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many articles do you need to see that marriage does not kill a man?

https://sciencenorway.no/demography-social-relations-society/dramatic-increase-in-mortality-among-the-unmarried/1653180

Personally I want to see lots, but that commenter is too enamored with his opinions to change his mind.