Are men happier than women in marriage at midlife?

[Anonymous]

I think this is common. Men tend to have lower standards. Just watch the news to see how many men resort to violence.

My own DH seems perfectly content. Whereas I can’t stand the monotony of marriage life and the lack of sex. From conversations I’ve had, other men are similar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Early 40s DW. I’m pretty over being married to my spouse. Nothing wrong with DH or our marriage, I just don’t feel a spark. A number of my female friends say they feel the Same. Yet, the men I know of the same age seem blissfully happy, including my DH.

What gives? Any DH out there want to shed light? DWs is it a perimenopause midlife crisis?

How do you know they are blissfully happy?

I doubt he is. Men can tell when their wife is no longer interested. They might just suffer in silence, but they can tell

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Early 40s DW. I’m pretty over being married to my spouse. Nothing wrong with DH or our marriage, I just don’t feel a spark. A number of my female friends say they feel the Same. Yet, the men I know of the same age seem blissfully happy, including my DH.

What gives? Any DH out there want to shed light? DWs is it a perimenopause midlife crisis?

Men are not blissfully happy. I bet your husband is as unhappy(or much more unhappy vs your level)as you are. Many men are extremely lonely and isolated in their marriages. Men are told no one cares how you feel so suck it up and continue on.

[Anonymous]

We hit a rough spot at age 42...then the pandemic hit and we got to spend much more time together and that helped significantly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Early 40s DW. I’m pretty over being married to my spouse. Nothing wrong with DH or our marriage, I just don’t feel a spark. A number of my female friends say they feel the Same. Yet, the men I know of the same age seem blissfully happy, including my DH.

What gives? Any DH out there want to shed light? DWs is it a perimenopause midlife crisis?

Men are not blissfully happy. I bet your husband is as unhappy(or much more unhappy vs your level)as you are. Many men are extremely lonely and isolated in their marriages. Men are told no one cares how you feel so suck it up and continue on.

If OP leaves she'll get Yasss Queeened for leaving the bastard and going off to Eat, Pray, Love.

If OP's husband does he will always be the as$hole who ruined their kids' lives.

[Anonymous]

Is he getting sex?

y) probably happy
n) miserable

[Anonymous]

Men don't expect to be happy, and certainly don't think that's the purpose of being married.

But in truth, marriage should be explicitly presented to men as being "only valid until she decides she's no longer haaaaaappy and then she will take the kids and half your money" and see how many are still willing to sign up for that.

[Anonymous]

Men are simple creatures who are at their happiest when things are calm, and stable.

Women are complex creatures who are at their unhappiest when things are calm, and stable.

A tale as old as time.

[Anonymous]

Bahahaha! Good one OP.

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Early 40s DW. I’m pretty over being married to my spouse. Nothing wrong with DH or our marriage, I just don’t feel a spark. A number of my female friends say they feel the Same. Yet, the men I know of the same age seem blissfully happy, including my DH.

What gives? Any DH out there want to shed light? DWs is it a perimenopause midlife crisis?

Men are not blissfully happy. I bet your husband is as unhappy(or much more unhappy vs your level)as you are. Many men are extremely lonely and isolated in their marriages. Men are told no one cares how you feel so suck it up and continue on.

Who is saying this? Can they please stop?
I would like to know what’s up with my husband. I mean, his insistence that he’s fine and has no problems makes me feel gaslighted. I know what I see. Im not crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Early 40s DW. I’m pretty over being married to my spouse. Nothing wrong with DH or our marriage, I just don’t feel a spark. A number of my female friends say they feel the Same. Yet, the men I know of the same age seem blissfully happy, including my DH.

What gives? Any DH out there want to shed light? DWs is it a perimenopause midlife crisis?

Men are not blissfully happy. I bet your husband is as unhappy(or much more unhappy vs your level)as you are. Many men are extremely lonely and isolated in their marriages. Men are told no one cares how you feel so suck it up and continue on.

Who is saying this? Can they please stop?
I would like to know what’s up with my husband. I mean, his insistence that he’s fine and has no problems makes me feel gaslighted. I know what I see. Im not crazy.

He doesn’t like being married to the kind of person who would say gaslighted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look up happiness U-curve. It’s not your marriage. It’s a normal part of life that general unhappiness sets in. It will lift eventually.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/12/the-real-roots-of-midlife-crisis/382235/

[Anonymous]

There is actual research on this - marriage is generally very beneficial for men and not for women. In most marriages the woman is handling so much of what makes a life enjoyable - men benefit from that and women resent the imbalance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Early 40s DW. I’m pretty over being married to my spouse. Nothing wrong with DH or our marriage, I just don’t feel a spark. A number of my female friends say they feel the Same. Yet, the men I know of the same age seem blissfully happy, including my DH.

What gives? Any DH out there want to shed light? DWs is it a perimenopause midlife crisis?

We are not "happier" than DWs per se but I do believe there are more miserable DWs than DHs. DCUM is a good example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Early 40s DW. I’m pretty over being married to my spouse. Nothing wrong with DH or our marriage, I just don’t feel a spark. A number of my female friends say they feel the Same. Yet, the men I know of the same age seem blissfully happy, including my DH.

What gives? Any DH out there want to shed light? DWs is it a perimenopause midlife crisis?

We are not "happier" than DWs per se but I do believe there are more miserable DWs than DHs. DCUM is a good example.

Unhappy men aren’t in here whining like so many unhappy women are. When men do come here and whine, they get the scornful “it’s your fault anyway, do better” treatment.