Parents of average students, calm down!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

I feel so sorry for your children. With all of those resources, you have limited their future options to avenues to getting rich.

Even if they are incredibly talented writers or passionate about art history. Sorry, that it not the ticket they bought when they got you two as parents. Seems to me (a parent with less material wealth) that you have poor values, and will not let your children explore who they are. They doors are only open to them recreating the empires that you sought.

+1 what a sad post.

DP.. what's sad is that some of you probably come from privilege and don't understand that a lot of families don't have that privilege to let their kids follow their passion without thinking about finances.

Sure, they could be a talented writer. But how are they going to pay their bills while they are trying to write a book or whatever. We don't come from money. My parents live on social security. I can't support my adult children until they hit it big, if ever.

So, yea, they need to get a job that pays enough for them to live comfortably because I can't support them forever.

Sounds like you come from a long line of poor decision makers. Maybe you should take different advice than the masses?

I come from an immigrant family whose home land was ravaged by war. So, FU.

No FU homeboy

? I hope your kid gets a better education than you did.

BTW, I'm a female, "homeboy". So stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

I feel so sorry for your children. With all of those resources, you have limited their future options to avenues to getting rich.

Even if they are incredibly talented writers or passionate about art history. Sorry, that it not the ticket they bought when they got you two as parents. Seems to me (a parent with less material wealth) that you have poor values, and will not let your children explore who they are. They doors are only open to them recreating the empires that you sought.

+1 what a sad post.

DP.. what's sad is that some of you probably come from privilege and don't understand that a lot of families don't have that privilege to let their kids follow their passion without thinking about finances.

Sure, they could be a talented writer. But how are they going to pay their bills while they are trying to write a book or whatever. We don't come from money. My parents live on social security. I can't support my adult children until they hit it big, if ever.

So, yea, they need to get a job that pays enough for them to live comfortably because I can't support them forever.

Sounds like you come from a long line of poor decision makers. Maybe you should take different advice than the masses?

I come from an immigrant family whose home land was ravaged by war. So, FU.

This is me caring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

I feel so sorry for your children. With all of those resources, you have limited their future options to avenues to getting rich.

Even if they are incredibly talented writers or passionate about art history. Sorry, that it not the ticket they bought when they got you two as parents. Seems to me (a parent with less material wealth) that you have poor values, and will not let your children explore who they are. They doors are only open to them recreating the empires that you sought.

+1 what a sad post.

DP.. what's sad is that some of you probably come from privilege and don't understand that a lot of families don't have that privilege to let their kids follow their passion without thinking about finances.

Sure, they could be a talented writer. But how are they going to pay their bills while they are trying to write a book or whatever. We don't come from money. My parents live on social security. I can't support my adult children until they hit it big, if ever.

So, yea, they need to get a job that pays enough for them to live comfortably because I can't support them forever.

Sounds like you come from a long line of poor decision makers. Maybe you should take different advice than the masses?

I come from an immigrant family whose home land was ravaged by war. So, FU.

If your grandparents were on social security as you say, then my comment stands. You've been here 3 generations (at least), many immigrants do exceedingly well in that time. Your family did not. Perhaps it's due to poor executive functioning, i.e., telling an anonymous person "FU" gives away more than you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband was in a gang in HS, but managed to graduate through an alternative program. He joined the military, got technical training and started his college classes. It took him 10 years PT while working, but he got his degree and makes twice what I make.

Congratulations to your DH. It is wonderful to hear that he broke the cycle and came out great. And I'm happy to hear that these alternative programs are doing their jobs!

We are all very proud of him for realizing he needed to get himself out of that situation. Finding the way to finish HS and then join the military helped quite a bit, so kudos to his late teen self, right? He was an excellent college student, too - got close to perfect grades in his classes at Mason with all the annoying "I went to TJ" classmates.

This was not the path we wanted for our kids, but our current teen is struggling mightily. It could have gone a different way, but right now, I just don't see a 4 year school happening. It sucks, because there was a path to a degree that is basically gone if she has to go to community college first. I have even started stress scrolling military career paths late at night, and none of them seem to be a fit for her. It breaks my heart because I know she wants the "normal" experience, but she just can't seem to pull herself together even with the supports we have provided.

Be thankful, parents with college bound children. Even if they don't get into a T20, their life has been blessed. I know - I was one of those kids. College was just a given and school was not all that hard for me, even at my university well known for students working hard and grade deflation that was just below Ivy level. I managed to graduate with honors barely breaking a sweat.

Have you looked at options like JROTC or Civil Air Patrol ?

Not yet. I still had hope that she could go to a 4 year up until less than a week ago. Now, we have 2-ish months for her to get her act together or that option is just gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

I feel so sorry for your children. With all of those resources, you have limited their future options to avenues to getting rich.

Even if they are incredibly talented writers or passionate about art history. Sorry, that it not the ticket they bought when they got you two as parents. Seems to me (a parent with less material wealth) that you have poor values, and will not let your children explore who they are. They doors are only open to them recreating the empires that you sought.

+1 what a sad post.

+2 all that money spent for you to helicopter their major and not let them explore various options.

-100

The only "exploring various options" you'll do as a humanities major is law school or barista.

So true!!

B.A. ristsa
Or
B.A. render

That's what a humanities degree will do, plus a lot of debt if you're poor to start with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

Wait you’re sneering at an arts or literature degree for being a waste of money but you spent 50k per year for multiple kids for private? And you think the 50k private gave them an extra special education that’s superior to a liberal arts degree? Talk about delusional

It taught them how to think outside the box. Older child is a degreeless Entrepreneur, who probably makes more than you. The 2 middle ones chose a traditional path (medicine and law), younger one is in middle school. I'm encouraging her to start her business now, so maybe you'll read about her in the paper the way you did with my older one. Seriously, they don't NEED degrees, that's delusional mediocrity talking...

But you do you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

Wait you’re sneering at an arts or literature degree for being a waste of money but you spent 50k per year for multiple kids for private? And you think the 50k private gave them an extra special education that’s superior to a liberal arts degree? Talk about delusional

It taught them how to think outside the box. Older child is a degreeless Entrepreneur, who probably makes more than you. The 2 middle ones chose a traditional path (medicine and law), younger one is in middle school. I'm encouraging her to start her business now, so maybe you'll read about her in the paper the way you did with my older one. Seriously, they don't NEED degrees, that's delusional mediocrity talking...

But you do you!

You’re going to have to give us names or we can safely assume you’re posting from your mom’s basement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

Wait you’re sneering at an arts or literature degree for being a waste of money but you spent 50k per year for multiple kids for private? And you think the 50k private gave them an extra special education that’s superior to a liberal arts degree? Talk about delusional

It taught them how to think outside the box. Older child is a degreeless Entrepreneur, who probably makes more than you. The 2 middle ones chose a traditional path (medicine and law), younger one is in middle school. I'm encouraging her to start her business now, so maybe you'll read about her in the paper the way you did with my older one. Seriously, they don't NEED degrees, that's delusional mediocrity talking...

But you do you!

You’re going to have to give us names or we can safely assume you’re posting from your mom’s basement.

Right....

Here let me let you publicly insult my family. We are the Trumps.

[Anonymous]

Thank you, OP.

Just a week ago, a status-obsessed parent told me that a student attending U of Toledo had better be prepared to live in Ohio because that is the only place they’d find a job. 😂🤣😂🤣

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

I’d probably love knowing you in real life. I feel the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

I have a liberal arts undergrad degree and ended up in a science field. I understand the push for STEM, but I wish people actually understood the liberal arts fields better and how we need those types of folks as well. In fact, having a liberal arts background can add and not hinder in developing critical thinking skills/creativity/thinking outside the box/questioning the status quo. I understand folks with limited means or not as a rich as you steering their kids towards practical degrees. But you have the means. You equate success with being rich and prestige. Your kids are more than just an investment. You call it being pragmatic, I just think it's sad.

DP.. why do you think it's only about prestige? For us, it's about reaching financial independence and a comfortable life earlier on in life. I struggled a lot in my 20s. I come from a poor background and didn't go to a great univ.

I don't want my kids to go through what I went through in my 20s. So, I want them to go to a good univ, and major in something that they can find a good job in.

But your push for this could make them miserable for the rest of their lives! Let your kids pick what they want to do, within reason. If they want to be a philosophy major, help them understand what they can do with that major for a career. help them realize that they can major in whatever, but then they need to find a path to turn it into employment that pays the bills. Many humanities/ss majors do just this each year. You just need to be open ended with the job search. The best thing you can do for them is help them exit college debt free, or as close to debt free as possible. That will get them further than any "elite" university. Much easier to get started in life at a $40K/year job if you don't have $1000/month in student loans.

I don't push my kids into specific majors, but I tell them the truth about how much it costs to live. I don't tell them, "Oh major in whatever fluff you want to because the most important thing is for you to pursue knowledge". No, that's only for the privileged, not for people who need to actually work for a living.

Agree on the debt aspect. I had zero debt. Went to a no name univ, but it was so much cheaper back then too.

Debt free is so important. Nobody should be taking more debt than 1x what their starting salary is likely to be. So if you are not a STEM major, your starting salary might only be $35-40K, so to survive on that you need to not have debt. Also need to know realistically what you might make at 0 and 5 and 10 years after graduation, so you can make sure you live a lifestyle that can be accommodated by your career path. Do what makes you happy, but if driving luxury cars, taking multiple fancy vacations and living in a big house are part of your plan, then you need to pick a career/major that can possibly support that.

There are plenty of jobs for non-stem majors. My own kid is at a company where 30-50% of the new hires are humanities/social science majors. Company puts you thru a rigorous testing before the first real interview and only 15-20% make that cut. Then there are several types of their jobs that only require you have a BA/BS and the desire to learn and critical thinking skills (some are STEM specific and do require a specific degree/background, but most simply require a college degree). Then they train you for the specific jobs. Proof that what they are looking for is smart, motivated, college grads with critical thinking skills who can adapt as needed. College is not job training, it's about developing the ability to think and problem solve and teamwork to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about those of us worried if our child is going to graduate hs?

So frustrating to watch her chance at college just slipping away

Keep supporting in calm and logical manner, more than likely he'll graduate on time. In worst case scenario of failing, he can take summer school and make up for missing credits and join community college after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I am specifically worried about A students who can't stand out because of the test-optional and grade-inflation climate.

They'll be okay at whichever school they'll get into because they are smart and hard working. They'll get into better grad/professional school because those are more academic oriented admissions. It may take them a bit longer but they aren't going to be failures. Not if you kept supporting and encouraging them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

I have a liberal arts undergrad degree and ended up in a science field. I understand the push for STEM, but I wish people actually understood the liberal arts fields better and how we need those types of folks as well. In fact, having a liberal arts background can add and not hinder in developing critical thinking skills/creativity/thinking outside the box/questioning the status quo. I understand folks with limited means or not as a rich as you steering their kids towards practical degrees. But you have the means. You equate success with being rich and prestige. Your kids are more than just an investment. You call it being pragmatic, I just think it's sad.

DP.. why do you think it's only about prestige? For us, it's about reaching financial independence and a comfortable life earlier on in life. I struggled a lot in my 20s. I come from a poor background and didn't go to a great univ.

I don't want my kids to go through what I went through in my 20s. So, I want them to go to a good univ, and major in something that they can find a good job in.

But your push for this could make them miserable for the rest of their lives! Let your kids pick what they want to do, within reason. If they want to be a philosophy major, help them understand what they can do with that major for a career. help them realize that they can major in whatever, but then they need to find a path to turn it into employment that pays the bills. Many humanities/ss majors do just this each year. You just need to be open ended with the job search. The best thing you can do for them is help them exit college debt free, or as close to debt free as possible. That will get them further than any "elite" university. Much easier to get started in life at a $40K/year job if you don't have $1000/month in student loans.

I don't push my kids into specific majors, but I tell them the truth about how much it costs to live. I don't tell them, "Oh major in whatever fluff you want to because the most important thing is for you to pursue knowledge". No, that's only for the privileged, not for people who need to actually work for a living.

Agree on the debt aspect. I had zero debt. Went to a no name univ, but it was so much cheaper back then too.

But what is the truth you tell them about how much it costs to live? Like, how much to live in a wealthy suburb of a big city in a single family house? Or a more average cost of living? I ask because I have lived among different circles of people and the wealthy were absolutely most obsessed with making sure their kids made “enough.” As if adulthood required private schools and country clubs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know what you are saying OP, but do you have a senior in HS applying to college right now? Even kids that DCUM would say are average (including my smart and hardworking senior that doesn't have any APs but has a good GPA), are stressed. Even at lower tier schools there is competition, and these kids are fighting for their spots at lower ranked schools just like other kids are fighting for spots at ivys.

To be fair, the system is really impossible, every school (even lower tiered ones) have thousands of applications for every spot and our kids (attending the same high schools as your kid) want to go to college.

I actually agree with you, OP, but telling your kid that is hard, the kids want a real college experience and its stressful to be applying to all schools right now. So please don't tell me to calm down - I want the same thing you want for your kids.

Not saying its easy but your anxiety would only make their anxiety worse. If they know you are calm and wouldn't compare them to others or think of them as failures then they'll be less anxious and more focused.