Parents of average students, calm down!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about those of us worried if our child is going to graduate hs?

So frustrating to watch her chance at college just slipping away

Hugs! I was there with one of my kids. Got them therapy to deal with the ADD and self-sabotage. They turned around their grades but weren’t accepted at any reaches or even matches. They attended an out-of-state flagship that is well-respected but not a hard admissions. (think Univ of Iowa, Univ of Indiana, etc.), graduated with a liberal arts degree and, within five years, are earning six figures.

It can turn out fine.

That s great. We’ve reached junior year and tried therapy and meds. If she doesn’t turn around her grades by January, we’re at the point of no return and community college is her only option. The pandemic came at absolutely the wrong time for her. HS has been a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

I was an average kid and would be considered successful by most standards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know what you are saying OP, but do you have a senior in HS applying to college right now? Even kids that DCUM would say are average (including my smart and hardworking senior that doesn't have any APs but has a good GPA), are stressed. Even at lower tier schools there is competition, and these kids are fighting for their spots at lower ranked schools just like other kids are fighting for spots at ivys.

To be fair, the system is really impossible, every school (even lower tiered ones) have thousands of applications for every spot and our kids (attending the same high schools as your kid) want to go to college.

I actually agree with you, OP, but telling your kid that is hard, the kids want a real college experience and its stressful to be applying to all schools right now. So please don't tell me to calm down - I want the same thing you want for your kids.

But, this part isn't true. There are thousands of schools that are suffering from a shortage of students. There is a school out there for just about every kid who wants to go to college.

[Anonymous]

My husband was in a gang in HS, but managed to graduate through an alternative program. He joined the military, got technical training and started his college classes. It took him 10 years PT while working, but he got his degree and makes twice what I make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was an average kid and would be considered successful by most standards.

Unless you are under 35, times are really different. College admissions is so much more competitive than even 10 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was an average kid and would be considered successful by most standards.

Unless you are under 35, times are really different. College admissions is so much more competitive than even 10 years ago.

Not every successful person takes the traditional 4 year college route

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know what you are saying OP, but do you have a senior in HS applying to college right now? Even kids that DCUM would say are average (including my smart and hardworking senior that doesn't have any APs but has a good GPA), are stressed. Even at lower tier schools there is competition, and these kids are fighting for their spots at lower ranked schools just like other kids are fighting for spots at ivys.

To be fair, the system is really impossible, every school (even lower tiered ones) have thousands of applications for every spot and our kids (attending the same high schools as your kid) want to go to college.

I actually agree with you, OP, but telling your kid that is hard, the kids want a real college experience and its stressful to be applying to all schools right now. So please don't tell me to calm down - I want the same thing you want for your kids.

Wow, OP was coming from a place of wisdom and kindness, and you literally told her to stop trying to reassure you.

Okay, stay in a swamp of stress, thinking the situation is "impossible."

I am sure that will help your child get through this challenging process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

I feel so sorry for your children. With all of those resources, you have limited their future options to avenues to getting rich.

Even if they are incredibly talented writers or passionate about art history. Sorry, that it not the ticket they bought when they got you two as parents. Seems to me (a parent with less material wealth) that you have poor values, and will not let your children explore who they are. They doors are only open to them recreating the empires that you sought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know what you are saying OP, but do you have a senior in HS applying to college right now? Even kids that DCUM would say are average (including my smart and hardworking senior that doesn't have any APs but has a good GPA), are stressed. Even at lower tier schools there is competition, and these kids are fighting for their spots at lower ranked schools just like other kids are fighting for spots at ivys.

To be fair, the system is really impossible, every school (even lower tiered ones) have thousands of applications for every spot and our kids (attending the same high schools as your kid) want to go to college.

I actually agree with you, OP, but telling your kid that is hard, the kids want a real college experience and its stressful to be applying to all schools right now. So please don't tell me to calm down - I want the same thing you want for your kids.

But, this part isn't true. There are thousands of schools that are suffering from a shortage of students. There is a school out there for just about every kid who wants to go to college. [/quote

Exactly, PP would rather feed on the "Sky is Falling Chicken Little" energy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I am specifically worried about A students who can't stand out because of the test-optional and grade-inflation climate.

I'd be more worried about A students who actually haven't had to work very hard, and A students who don't know that it is OK to get a B, and A students who expect that they are the very best of the best based on grades. Those kids can really get hit hard in college and you should watch out for signs of depression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband was in a gang in HS, but managed to graduate through an alternative program. He joined the military, got technical training and started his college classes. It took him 10 years PT while working, but he got his degree and makes twice what I make.

Congratulations to your DH. It is wonderful to hear that he broke the cycle and came out great. And I'm happy to hear that these alternative programs are doing their jobs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

I feel so sorry for your children. With all of those resources, you have limited their future options to avenues to getting rich.

Even if they are incredibly talented writers or passionate about art history. Sorry, that it not the ticket they bought when they got you two as parents. Seems to me (a parent with less material wealth) that you have poor values, and will not let your children explore who they are. They doors are only open to them recreating the empires that you sought.

+1 what a sad post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was an average kid and would be considered successful by most standards.

Unless you are under 35, times are really different. College admissions is so much more competitive than even 10 years ago.

Not every successful person takes the traditional 4 year college route

sure. Community college is fine. My sibling went that route, too. But, most kids don't want to go that route if they don't have to. My sibling did so because of financial reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was an average kid and would be considered successful by most standards.

Unless you are under 35, times are really different. College admissions is so much more competitive than even 10 years ago.

Not every successful person takes the traditional 4 year college route

True, but the odds are better coming out of a state flagship than coming out of a community college like OP suggests