Parents of average students, calm down!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

I feel so sorry for your children. With all of those resources, you have limited their future options to avenues to getting rich.

Even if they are incredibly talented writers or passionate about art history. Sorry, that it not the ticket they bought when they got you two as parents. Seems to me (a parent with less material wealth) that you have poor values, and will not let your children explore who they are. They doors are only open to them recreating the empires that you sought.

+1 what a sad post.

DP.. what's sad is that some of you probably come from privilege and don't understand that a lot of families don't have that privilege to let their kids follow their passion without thinking about finances.

Sure, they could be a talented writer. But how are they going to pay their bills while they are trying to write a book or whatever. We don't come from money. My parents live on social security. I can't support my adult children until they hit it big, if ever.

So, yea, they need to get a job that pays enough for them to live comfortably because I can't support them forever.

Sounds like you come from a long line of poor decision makers. Maybe you should take different advice than the masses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

I have a liberal arts undergrad degree and ended up in a science field. I understand the push for STEM, but I wish people actually understood the liberal arts fields better and how we need those types of folks as well. In fact, having a liberal arts background can add and not hinder in developing critical thinking skills/creativity/thinking outside the box/questioning the status quo. I understand folks with limited means or not as a rich as you steering their kids towards practical degrees. But you have the means. You equate success with being rich and prestige. Your kids are more than just an investment. You call it being pragmatic, I just think it's sad.

So you paid for knowledge that is available for free at a public library. That's sad. It's sadder that you think you needed it.

One only needs the certificate if it is necessary to practice, like medicine or law. If it's critical thinking that's necessary then become a critical thinker and think of a different solution. You don't need a piece of paper to say you are a critical thinker.

I think folks here don't really understand the position in the post. I get it they want to continue to do what everyone else does. That's ok, but not the path that will be successful in the future. It will just be average.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

I feel so sorry for your children. With all of those resources, you have limited their future options to avenues to getting rich.

Even if they are incredibly talented writers or passionate about art history. Sorry, that it not the ticket they bought when they got you two as parents. Seems to me (a parent with less material wealth) that you have poor values, and will not let your children explore who they are. They doors are only open to them recreating the empires that you sought.

+1 what a sad post.

DP.. what's sad is that some of you probably come from privilege and don't understand that a lot of families don't have that privilege to let their kids follow their passion without thinking about finances.

Sure, they could be a talented writer. But how are they going to pay their bills while they are trying to write a book or whatever. We don't come from money. My parents live on social security. I can't support my adult children until they hit it big, if ever.

So, yea, they need to get a job that pays enough for them to live comfortably because I can't support them forever.

Sounds like you come from a long line of poor decision makers. Maybe you should take different advice than the masses?

I come from an immigrant family whose home land was ravaged by war. So, FU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

+1000

It's not "where you go, it's what you do while you are there". This applies to all aspects of life, including your jobs after college. You have the right idea---unless you have the $80K/year saved going to a good school and being debt free is very important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know what you are saying OP, but do you have a senior in HS applying to college right now? Even kids that DCUM would say are average (including my smart and hardworking senior that doesn't have any APs but has a good GPA), are stressed. Even at lower tier schools there is competition, and these kids are fighting for their spots at lower ranked schools just like other kids are fighting for spots at ivys.

To be fair, the system is really impossible, every school (even lower tiered ones) have thousands of applications for every spot and our kids (attending the same high schools as your kid) want to go to college.

I actually agree with you, OP, but telling your kid that is hard, the kids want a real college experience and its stressful to be applying to all schools right now. So please don't tell me to calm down - I want the same thing you want for your kids.

But, this part isn't true. There are thousands of schools that are suffering from a shortage of students. There is a school out there for just about every kid who wants to go to college.

Exactly!! If you have a 3.5gpa and 1200 SAT, many schools ranked above 50 are easily accessible. These schools have freshman cohorts that are smaller than 4 years ago, not by choice. Plenty of good schools to attend if you are interested in non-T50 schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

I have a liberal arts undergrad degree and ended up in a science field. I understand the push for STEM, but I wish people actually understood the liberal arts fields better and how we need those types of folks as well. In fact, having a liberal arts background can add and not hinder in developing critical thinking skills/creativity/thinking outside the box/questioning the status quo. I understand folks with limited means or not as a rich as you steering their kids towards practical degrees. But you have the means. You equate success with being rich and prestige. Your kids are more than just an investment. You call it being pragmatic, I just think it's sad.

DP.. why do you think it's only about prestige? For us, it's about reaching financial independence and a comfortable life earlier on in life. I struggled a lot in my 20s. I come from a poor background and didn't go to a great univ.

I don't want my kids to go through what I went through in my 20s. So, I want them to go to a good univ, and major in something that they can find a good job in.

But your push for this could make them miserable for the rest of their lives! Let your kids pick what they want to do, within reason. If they want to be a philosophy major, help them understand what they can do with that major for a career. help them realize that they can major in whatever, but then they need to find a path to turn it into employment that pays the bills. Many humanities/ss majors do just this each year. You just need to be open ended with the job search. The best thing you can do for them is help them exit college debt free, or as close to debt free as possible. That will get them further than any "elite" university. Much easier to get started in life at a $40K/year job if you don't have $1000/month in student loans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was an average kid and would be considered successful by most standards.

Unless you are under 35, times are really different. College admissions is so much more competitive than even 10 years ago.

Only true for the top 100 or so schools. There are plenty of schools that need students. You will see that in May a list comes out (with some decent schools) of all of the schools that still have spots open. There are colleges for your kid. You just have to be open minded.

Even schools like Towson have become somewhat competitive for average kids.

I went to a CSU school eons ago in CA. It was considered pretty easy to get in. I am hearing that this school has now become competitive because of the demand. It's crazy.

For the class enrolling in fall 2021 Towson accepted 10,213 of 11,616 who applied- 87%. This is not a knock against Towson. It is great. I think this is consistent with the mission of Towson. But, it is a stretch to say that it is competitive to get in. I think people get caught up in rumor and fear and lose track of the big picture. There are tons of great universities and there will be one your kid can get into.

Right. if you only have a 2.5 gpa and 900 SAT, then it's "competitive". And I'd argue if that is your GPA/SAT, then Towson might not be the best place for you, as you might struggle mightily academically. So CC might really be the best choice for you to get your academic foundations, then transfer to a 4 year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

I have a liberal arts undergrad degree and ended up in a science field. I understand the push for STEM, but I wish people actually understood the liberal arts fields better and how we need those types of folks as well. In fact, having a liberal arts background can add and not hinder in developing critical thinking skills/creativity/thinking outside the box/questioning the status quo. I understand folks with limited means or not as a rich as you steering their kids towards practical degrees. But you have the means. You equate success with being rich and prestige. Your kids are more than just an investment. You call it being pragmatic, I just think it's sad.

So you paid for knowledge that is available for free at a public library. That's sad. It's sadder that you think you needed it.

One only needs the certificate if it is necessary to practice, like medicine or law. If it's critical thinking that's necessary then become a critical thinker and think of a different solution. You don't need a piece of paper to say you are a critical thinker.

I think folks here don't really understand the position in the post. I get it they want to continue to do what everyone else does. That's ok, but not the path that will be successful in the future. It will just be average.

For someone blabbering about critical thinking, you are not very good at reading comprehension or making an argument. I did not say you need a liberal arts to degree to be a critical thinker but liberal arts can actually enrich someone's education/perspective. I think the issue with just focusing on STEM is that it can lead to very black/white thinking. It's why colleges still require general education classes-because they want (in theory) for graduates to be well rounded.
By the way, any subject is readily available to the masses to learn, including STEM ones so I am not sure I understand your argument about just going to the library to learn vs. getting a degree?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband was in a gang in HS, but managed to graduate through an alternative program. He joined the military, got technical training and started his college classes. It took him 10 years PT while working, but he got his degree and makes twice what I make.

Congratulations to your DH. It is wonderful to hear that he broke the cycle and came out great. And I'm happy to hear that these alternative programs are doing their jobs!

We are all very proud of him for realizing he needed to get himself out of that situation. Finding the way to finish HS and then join the military helped quite a bit, so kudos to his late teen self, right? He was an excellent college student, too - got close to perfect grades in his classes at Mason with all the annoying "I went to TJ" classmates.

This was not the path we wanted for our kids, but our current teen is struggling mightily. It could have gone a different way, but right now, I just don't see a 4 year school happening. It sucks, because there was a path to a degree that is basically gone if she has to go to community college first. I have even started stress scrolling military career paths late at night, and none of them seem to be a fit for her. It breaks my heart because I know she wants the "normal" experience, but she just can't seem to pull herself together even with the supports we have provided.

Be thankful, parents with college bound children. Even if they don't get into a T20, their life has been blessed. I know - I was one of those kids. College was just a given and school was not all that hard for me, even at my university well known for students working hard and grade deflation that was just below Ivy level. I managed to graduate with honors barely breaking a sweat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

I feel so sorry for your children. With all of those resources, you have limited their future options to avenues to getting rich.

Even if they are incredibly talented writers or passionate about art history. Sorry, that it not the ticket they bought when they got you two as parents. Seems to me (a parent with less material wealth) that you have poor values, and will not let your children explore who they are. They doors are only open to them recreating the empires that you sought.

+1 what a sad post.

+2 all that money spent for you to helicopter their major and not let them explore various options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

I feel so sorry for your children. With all of those resources, you have limited their future options to avenues to getting rich.

Even if they are incredibly talented writers or passionate about art history. Sorry, that it not the ticket they bought when they got you two as parents. Seems to me (a parent with less material wealth) that you have poor values, and will not let your children explore who they are. They doors are only open to them recreating the empires that you sought.

+1 what a sad post.

+2 all that money spent for you to helicopter their major and not let them explore various options.

-100

The only "exploring various options" you'll do as a humanities major is law school or barista.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

I feel so sorry for your children. With all of those resources, you have limited their future options to avenues to getting rich.

Even if they are incredibly talented writers or passionate about art history. Sorry, that it not the ticket they bought when they got you two as parents. Seems to me (a parent with less material wealth) that you have poor values, and will not let your children explore who they are. They doors are only open to them recreating the empires that you sought.

+1 what a sad post.

+2 all that money spent for you to helicopter their major and not let them explore various options.

-100

The only "exploring various options" you'll do as a humanities major is law school or barista.

You are such a sad sheltered little human

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

Wait you’re sneering at an arts or literature degree for being a waste of money but you spent 50k per year for multiple kids for private? And you think the 50k private gave them an extra special education that’s superior to a liberal arts degree? Talk about delusional

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband was in a gang in HS, but managed to graduate through an alternative program. He joined the military, got technical training and started his college classes. It took him 10 years PT while working, but he got his degree and makes twice what I make.

Congratulations to your DH. It is wonderful to hear that he broke the cycle and came out great. And I'm happy to hear that these alternative programs are doing their jobs!

We are all very proud of him for realizing he needed to get himself out of that situation. Finding the way to finish HS and then join the military helped quite a bit, so kudos to his late teen self, right? He was an excellent college student, too - got close to perfect grades in his classes at Mason with all the annoying "I went to TJ" classmates.

This was not the path we wanted for our kids, but our current teen is struggling mightily. It could have gone a different way, but right now, I just don't see a 4 year school happening. It sucks, because there was a path to a degree that is basically gone if she has to go to community college first. I have even started stress scrolling military career paths late at night, and none of them seem to be a fit for her. It breaks my heart because I know she wants the "normal" experience, but she just can't seem to pull herself together even with the supports we have provided.

Be thankful, parents with college bound children. Even if they don't get into a T20, their life has been blessed. I know - I was one of those kids. College was just a given and school was not all that hard for me, even at my university well known for students working hard and grade deflation that was just below Ivy level. I managed to graduate with honors barely breaking a sweat.

Have you looked at options like JROTC or Civil Air Patrol ?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

I have a liberal arts undergrad degree and ended up in a science field. I understand the push for STEM, but I wish people actually understood the liberal arts fields better and how we need those types of folks as well. In fact, having a liberal arts background can add and not hinder in developing critical thinking skills/creativity/thinking outside the box/questioning the status quo. I understand folks with limited means or not as a rich as you steering their kids towards practical degrees. But you have the means. You equate success with being rich and prestige. Your kids are more than just an investment. You call it being pragmatic, I just think it's sad.

DP.. why do you think it's only about prestige? For us, it's about reaching financial independence and a comfortable life earlier on in life. I struggled a lot in my 20s. I come from a poor background and didn't go to a great univ.

I don't want my kids to go through what I went through in my 20s. So, I want them to go to a good univ, and major in something that they can find a good job in.

But your push for this could make them miserable for the rest of their lives! Let your kids pick what they want to do, within reason. If they want to be a philosophy major, help them understand what they can do with that major for a career. help them realize that they can major in whatever, but then they need to find a path to turn it into employment that pays the bills. Many humanities/ss majors do just this each year. You just need to be open ended with the job search. The best thing you can do for them is help them exit college debt free, or as close to debt free as possible. That will get them further than any "elite" university. Much easier to get started in life at a $40K/year job if you don't have $1000/month in student loans.

I don't push my kids into specific majors, but I tell them the truth about how much it costs to live. I don't tell them, "Oh major in whatever fluff you want to because the most important thing is for you to pursue knowledge". No, that's only for the privileged, not for people who need to actually work for a living.

Agree on the debt aspect. I had zero debt. Went to a no name univ, but it was so much cheaper back then too.