Parents of average students, calm down!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about those of us worried if our child is going to graduate hs?

So frustrating to watch her chance at college just slipping away

HS is important, but college is not necessarily the right path for every child, especially ones that are not quite as good at "book learning". For some people, hands on training is better for them than academic learning. There are plenty of jobs where you can get non-college training to get very good careers that will be much more advantageous than college.

Personally I think that over the last few decades that we've done a number of young adults a disservice. We have spent so much time focusing on college being the pathway to careers and better lives that we've stopped paying attention to what is best for the individual. Instead, we've graduated multiple classes of college educated graduates who have degrees in fields that are now oversubscribed with graduates and there aren't enough jobs in the given industry for all of them. So, what you have is the better students, the ones who do better with book learning, are getting the jobs and students that are mediocre have college degrees and college debt and they can't get a job in their field. And they end up going into alternative careers where they aren't using their college degree, but they are saddled with years and years worth of student loan payments.

And the flip side is that we now have a shortage of qualified vocationally trained employees. There used to be a balance and that young adults who were not as good at book learning went into careers like plumbing, electrical, carpentry, medical technicians, cooking/chef, auto mechanic, general contracting, house building, locksmithing, and so on. Now, many of the individuals who would have gone into those careers have been pushed to go to college. Some of them go to college and drop out part-way through and have college debt to repay. Some of them actually graduate and can't get a job in their field and end up with college debt. Many of these individuals would have been better of going into training, apprenticeship, or vocational education to learn trades without accumulating student loan debt.

So, back to you, PP. While I understand the desire for your children to go to college (I want mine to go, too), but stop and try to understand your child and see if there might be a better path for her that does not involve college. She might have interests or skills that would be better suited to something else that might involve a different type of training and she might get a great career out of an alternative to college.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:As almost all studies have shown, it is not the school that made the kid successful..it is THE KID...my son is 4.7 W 1520 SAT..and though we can afford any school, it is very difficult to justify paying $83K when 28K to the instate flagship that has a multitude of major options, and very "smart kids"...oh..it would be unpopular with the private HS crowd whose parents parted with 100K to 500K to educate their kid when 92% of the USA pays zero..

I only come to this site for laughs..parents whom are treating where the kids goes to undergraduate school is the most monumental decision of anyone's existence, when in reality is not even in the top ten most important decision that a person will make in their lifetime

They can create and follow a traditional path. It will make them better problem solvers and they will stand out. Just "creating" in a way thay isn't valued by society monetarily is a complete waste of money, time, and talent.

As a parent who paid 100-500k (actually more because I have several kids at a 50k school from 3yrs to 12th grade) for private education, I can tell you that you missed the boat. I didn't send my kids there to get into a college. I send them there to get an education. I agree that it's the kid that makes a success not the school. Very little that is learned in school beyond 7th grade is applicable to what they will be doing to sustain their livelihoods. I gave them a broad range of activities and experiences, let them learn how to learn, and the rest is up to them.... college or not.

Most of the really successful folks in this world don't have degrees or a piece of paper that tells them what they can do. They learn what they need along the way. Oprah, Gates, Zuckerberg, Dick Cheney, Steve Jobs, Charles Dickens, countless actors, comedians, and sports stars, the list goes on and on. If they shoot for mediocrity then yes they need the paper - doctor, dentist, scientist.

No way in heck I'm paying for an arts, literature, or philosophy degree.. if they want to do that they can start publishing immediately to get credibility. And BTW we have fully funded 529s and a HHI of 800k. Folks just need to be pragmatic about the world we live in. It's all about return on investment. My kids learned this lesson young, like 5 years old.

I feel so sorry for your children. With all of those resources, you have limited their future options to avenues to getting rich.

Even if they are incredibly talented writers or passionate about art history. Sorry, that it not the ticket they bought when they got you two as parents. Seems to me (a parent with less material wealth) that you have poor values, and will not let your children explore who they are. They doors are only open to them recreating the empires that you sought.

+1 what a sad post.

DP.. what's sad is that some of you probably come from privilege and don't understand that a lot of families don't have that privilege to let their kids follow their passion without thinking about finances.

Sure, they could be a talented writer. But how are they going to pay their bills while they are trying to write a book or whatever. We don't come from money. My parents live on social security. I can't support my adult children until they hit it big, if ever.

So, yea, they need to get a job that pays enough for them to live comfortably because I can't support them forever.

There have been and will thankfully continue to be lots of people who support themselves while also embarking on creative and nontraditional pursuits. You don't need to squash your kids dreams to prepare them for the real world. There can be balance in parenting. I feel bad for creative and talented kids who have parents who just aren't and don't support them(emotionally) in their need to create.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see so many average students doing well that i just want stressed helicopter parents to calm down and go easy on their average but hard working students. Just this weekend, i met three young people, one attending D.O. school, one working at IBM and one working at Microsoft. All three were C+ to B- students in high school, didn't get into top schools or even state flagships. One attended regional campus of state school, two went to community college and later transferred to state schools. Just support your kids and give them time to grow. Every person's ability and path is different.

Are they white?

Jesus H. Christ.