SAHMs with no retirement or college savings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s interesting to me is that a lot of SAHMs don’t seem to realize they aren’t contributing to retirement. They will often say their husband is saving in other accounts, but they don’t recognize how the benefit of a 401k is bankruptcy, tax deferred etc. They also don’t seem to understand that their husband’s 401k is only in his name. My own mother stayed home and I have power of attorney for my dad. She can’t even call up the brokerage firm to make a transaction since her name isn’t on the account. SAHms are truly screwed on the retirement front.

SAHM can contribute to IRAs and should. I stopped working 16 years ago but still have more money in my 401ks and IRAs than my husband because I contributed more in my 20s and 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you're a troll, but I'l answer why I probably won't go back to work even though I might not even be able to pay for tuition at a state school.

I have applied to many, many jobs, and I can't get any that will work with a flexible-ish schedule that would actually make a decent amount of money. I am being picky, I know, but I would like medical and maybe 60K. The only thing I can think of that would get me some marketable skills are going back to school (which would require money upfront) or doing something very low-paying in the hopes that it would eventually lead to something more. I'm not sure I'd be better off doing that than I would be focusing on saving money at home.

Right now, I like being able to do all my home tasks while the kids are at school so we can all just chill on the weekends, and I like spending after-school time with my kids since they are going to be gone so soon. At this point I'm not going to get a job that wouldn't let me do those things so they can go to a more expensive school. That is just my choice.

Also, some people don't realize just how expensive college has become. They think that the way to afford college is pretty much the same as what it was when they went, and that every single person complaining about student loans is just an idiot who went to a college that can change lives for a degree in gender studies.

Would love a job like that. Been looking since before COVID, sent out numerous resumes and never get even a first call from recruiting. That mommy gap is a curse I can’t seem to get past.

Going to an expensive private college is not worth it for 80% of people. Just attend in state college. If my parents saved 300k for me for college, I would ask them to give me 200k of that for a down payment on a first house. Forget paying 50-70k a year for college, that is BS.

Would you work a flexible(ish) schedule (35 hours/week, 3 days from home) for $40k/year with medical and free college tuition for your kids? I work for a university and we always hire recent undergrads for a research assistant position, although they rarely stay past a couple years- they use the education benefit for grad school then move on. Wondering if we should rethink our hiring strategy.

Absolutely!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s interesting to me is that a lot of SAHMs don’t seem to realize they aren’t contributing to retirement. They will often say their husband is saving in other accounts, but they don’t recognize how the benefit of a 401k is bankruptcy, tax deferred etc. They also don’t seem to understand that their husband’s 401k is only in his name. My own mother stayed home and I have power of attorney for my dad. She can’t even call up the brokerage firm to make a transaction since her name isn’t on the account. SAHms are truly screwed on the retirement front.

SAHM can contribute to IRAs and should. I stopped working 16 years ago but still have more money in my 401ks and IRAs than my husband because I contributed more in my 20s and 30s.

It’s limited to what, 7k a year? Sorry but that’s hardly going to fund retirement for most women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s interesting to me is that a lot of SAHMs don’t seem to realize they aren’t contributing to retirement. They will often say their husband is saving in other accounts, but they don’t recognize how the benefit of a 401k is bankruptcy, tax deferred etc. They also don’t seem to understand that their husband’s 401k is only in his name. My own mother stayed home and I have power of attorney for my dad. She can’t even call up the brokerage firm to make a transaction since her name isn’t on the account. SAHms are truly screwed on the retirement front.

SAHM can contribute to IRAs and should. I stopped working 16 years ago but still have more money in my 401ks and IRAs than my husband because I contributed more in my 20s and 30s.

It’s limited to what, 7k a year? Sorry but that’s hardly going to fund retirement for most women.

Also it’s only for lower income. If your husband makes a decent living you can’t even contribute to a Roth!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s interesting to me is that a lot of SAHMs don’t seem to realize they aren’t contributing to retirement. They will often say their husband is saving in other accounts, but they don’t recognize how the benefit of a 401k is bankruptcy, tax deferred etc. They also don’t seem to understand that their husband’s 401k is only in his name. My own mother stayed home and I have power of attorney for my dad. She can’t even call up the brokerage firm to make a transaction since her name isn’t on the account. SAHms are truly screwed on the retirement front.

SAHM can contribute to IRAs and should. I stopped working 16 years ago but still have more money in my 401ks and IRAs than my husband because I contributed more in my 20s and 30s.

Stop spreading lies. It’s to a Roth which is limited to a small dollar amount each year. Compared to a lot more if you’re employed with a 401k and match.

[Anonymous]

How does financial aid for college - or private school for that matter - calculate for a non-working spouse? Is the family awarded aid based on their current income or their potential income if both parents worked?

I can see pros and cons of both methods. On one hand, a family should not get more aid when one parent chooses not to work. On the other hand, a lot of women without college degrees can’t earn enough to pay for childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s interesting to me is that a lot of SAHMs don’t seem to realize they aren’t contributing to retirement. They will often say their husband is saving in other accounts, but they don’t recognize how the benefit of a 401k is bankruptcy, tax deferred etc. They also don’t seem to understand that their husband’s 401k is only in his name. My own mother stayed home and I have power of attorney for my dad. She can’t even call up the brokerage firm to make a transaction since her name isn’t on the account. SAHms are truly screwed on the retirement front.

SAHM can contribute to IRAs and should. I stopped working 16 years ago but still have more money in my 401ks and IRAs than my husband because I contributed more in my 20s and 30s.

Stop spreading lies. It’s to a Roth which is limited to a small dollar amount each year. Compared to a lot more if you’re employed with a 401k and match.

If she's telling the truth, her H is a loser with a low salary.

[Anonymous]

Haters gonna hate. I’m a SAHM of teenagers and have been for years. It works well for my family and our lifestyle.

I don’t give a flip about what strangers on the internet think I should be doing.

I have a small pension from the years that I worked, as well as a 457 plan, Vanguard IRA, and stocks. My kids each have a prepaid college tuition plan.

You do you.

[Anonymous]

Trollllllllll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd love to know of jobs which allow you to work 8/9-2/3 and only when your kids are in school. Aside from teaching or part time admin I can't think of anything.

I'd agree with you that it is selfish for someone to fritter away money all day so their kids have to take out college loans, but don't pretend there are tons of jobs with hours that align with parents who have chosen to make themselves available when their kids are out of school.

When my kids were in elementary school, I worked those part-time hours in an architecture firm. Dropped off the kids, was in the office early, left at 2pm to pick them up. As they aged into middle school I left the office at 4pm. Now they are in high school and I leave at 530pm and pick up the slack remotely after dinner.
These types of professions and positions do exist. I cost the firm less because I didn't need any benefits so it was a bit of financial bonus for them to hire someone like me back when my hours were truly part-time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd love to know of jobs which allow you to work 8/9-2/3 and only when your kids are in school. Aside from teaching or part time admin I can't think of anything.

I'd agree with you that it is selfish for someone to fritter away money all day so their kids have to take out college loans, but don't pretend there are tons of jobs with hours that align with parents who have chosen to make themselves available when their kids are out of school.

When my kids were in elementary school, I worked those part-time hours in an architecture firm. Dropped off the kids, was in the office early, left at 2pm to pick them up. As they aged into middle school I left the office at 4pm. Now they are in high school and I leave at 530pm and pick up the slack remotely after dinner.
These types of professions and positions do exist. I cost the firm less because I didn't need any benefits so it was a bit of financial bonus for them to hire someone like me back when my hours were truly part-time.

What was your position with them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd love to know of jobs which allow you to work 8/9-2/3 and only when your kids are in school. Aside from teaching or part time admin I can't think of anything.

I'd agree with you that it is selfish for someone to fritter away money all day so their kids have to take out college loans, but don't pretend there are tons of jobs with hours that align with parents who have chosen to make themselves available when their kids are out of school.

When my kids were in elementary school, I worked those part-time hours in an architecture firm. Dropped off the kids, was in the office early, left at 2pm to pick them up. As they aged into middle school I left the office at 4pm. Now they are in high school and I leave at 530pm and pick up the slack remotely after dinner.
These types of professions and positions do exist. I cost the firm less because I didn't need any benefits so it was a bit of financial bonus for them to hire someone like me back when my hours were truly part-time.

What was your position with them?

Jr. Architect, then project architect. Now at a big corporate firm and willingly started with basic title (they offered me higher but I wanted time to get comfortable with them first). My recent job change was a big lateral move as I was coming from small boutique firms.
Oh, and I spent 6 years as SAHM, and prior to that I was in an entirely different field but kept developing very small projects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd love to know of jobs which allow you to work 8/9-2/3 and only when your kids are in school. Aside from teaching or part time admin I can't think of anything.

I'd agree with you that it is selfish for someone to fritter away money all day so their kids have to take out college loans, but don't pretend there are tons of jobs with hours that align with parents who have chosen to make themselves available when their kids are out of school.

When my kids were in elementary school, I worked those part-time hours in an architecture firm. Dropped off the kids, was in the office early, left at 2pm to pick them up. As they aged into middle school I left the office at 4pm. Now they are in high school and I leave at 530pm and pick up the slack remotely after dinner.
These types of professions and positions do exist. I cost the firm less because I didn't need any benefits so it was a bit of financial bonus for them to hire someone like me back when my hours were truly part-time.

What was your position with them?

And did you work for them full time before shifting to a lighter schedule? I’m glad you’ve found this. I hope to also.

[Anonymous]

The problem here is the ludicrous cost of college.

It’s not lazy and selfish to fail to prepare for this. We shouldn’t turn an economic problem into a moral issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd love to know of jobs which allow you to work 8/9-2/3 and only when your kids are in school. Aside from teaching or part time admin I can't think of anything.

I'd agree with you that it is selfish for someone to fritter away money all day so their kids have to take out college loans, but don't pretend there are tons of jobs with hours that align with parents who have chosen to make themselves available when their kids are out of school.

When my kids were in elementary school, I worked those part-time hours in an architecture firm. Dropped off the kids, was in the office early, left at 2pm to pick them up. As they aged into middle school I left the office at 4pm. Now they are in high school and I leave at 530pm and pick up the slack remotely after dinner.
These types of professions and positions do exist. I cost the firm less because I didn't need any benefits so it was a bit of financial bonus for them to hire someone like me back when my hours were truly part-time.

What was your position with them?

Jr. Architect, then project architect. Now at a big corporate firm and willingly started with basic title (they offered me higher but I wanted time to get comfortable with them first). My recent job change was a big lateral move as I was coming from small boutique firms.
Oh, and I spent 6 years as SAHM, and prior to that I was in an entirely different field but kept developing very small projects.

It seems like most former SAHMs who got into this kind of setup had marketable skills before being a SAHM, and kept some kind of foot in the door while staying at home. I don't think it's common to get a good gig like this when you're starting from scratch. I'd love to be proven wrong though.