Friend asked to join book club - how to politely say no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol at the idea of having an exclusive book club.

Right? The same people with the same opinions all the time. What a boring book club.

You are free to start your own. Are you being tied down?

Of course not and I'd do a fade on this "friend" too because she doesn't sound like much of one. Especially if she gave a dick response like yours.

You would need to do a immature “fade.” I would cut you off easily for your judgy, closed-minded stupidness.

Bullet dodged.

Yeah, go find some other victim you want to try to manipulate and abuse.

[Anonymous]

That is rude to ask someone to show up to a club uninvited. No, talk with the group first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, OP, how did you respond. Can’t leave that txt unanswered for too long…

I told her I'd check in with the group.

Wonderful, rejected by a dozen people instead of one.

You're being too sensitive. Some groups have long-held dynamics, as other posters have explained.

+1

[Anonymous]

Remember: When you are someone's friend, you mustn't have other friends. If you DO have other friends, it must remain a secret.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all the people saying OP is a "terrible friend" and a snob trying to look intellectual and exclusive -- do you have any friends or friend groups that actually matter to you? That you have picked because you click? Or do you just operate under an open-door policy, that anyone who crosses paths with you can be your friend? That's just weird.

This is my take. I am the person who is like the friend. People hang out with me and have fun but, don't invite me to the "extra" events and then they tell me they socialize together without me! So, I am a little sensitive. I just don't know why the book club and op cold be kind and invite her.

If you don't care for this friend do what the pp says. the world is so unfriendly. Would it kill anyone to be kind?

The book club is not a charity organization. No offense, but that's not why they let new members in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all the people saying OP is a "terrible friend" and a snob trying to look intellectual and exclusive -- do you have any friends or friend groups that actually matter to you? That you have picked because you click? Or do you just operate under an open-door policy, that anyone who crosses paths with you can be your friend? That's just weird.

This is my take. I am the person who is like the friend. People hang out with me and have fun but, don't invite me to the "extra" events and then they tell me they socialize together without me! So, I am a little sensitive. I just don't know why the book club and op cold be kind and invite her.

If you don't care for this friend do what the pp says. the world is so unfriendly. Would it kill anyone to be kind?

The book club is not a charity organization. No offense, but that's not why they let new members in.

Of course, but could it kill you to be kind once in a while?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you ever talk to your friend about the book club? My guess is you wanted to boast or show how intellectual you are or how many friends you have. I guess you can say that the group has a standing agreement not to invite new members because if everyone did, the size would grow untenable. How about you ask her to launch a new book club which you will also participate in? You can read two books a month, right?

This. If you didn't want her to join your "highly exclusive" club, you shouldn't have mentioned it. You don't sound like much of a friend.

Pretty soon her friend should know what type of a friend the OP is to her. I find this to be very sad.

This is probably why some of you don't have friends. START SLOW. OP said her book club was made up of members who had known each other for years. Her new friend is a neighbor. It takes time to become actual friends.

Calm down. Give your relationships some time. You'll slowly grow some friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all the people saying OP is a "terrible friend" and a snob trying to look intellectual and exclusive -- do you have any friends or friend groups that actually matter to you? That you have picked because you click? Or do you just operate under an open-door policy, that anyone who crosses paths with you can be your friend? That's just weird.

This is my take. I am the person who is like the friend. People hang out with me and have fun but, don't invite me to the "extra" events and then they tell me they socialize together without me! So, I am a little sensitive. I just don't know why the book club and op cold be kind and invite her.

If you don't care for this friend do what the pp says. the world is so unfriendly. Would it kill anyone to be kind?

The book club is not a charity organization. No offense, but that's not why they let new members in.

Possibly the single most snobbish quote ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all the people saying OP is a "terrible friend" and a snob trying to look intellectual and exclusive -- do you have any friends or friend groups that actually matter to you? That you have picked because you click? Or do you just operate under an open-door policy, that anyone who crosses paths with you can be your friend? That's just weird.

This is my take. I am the person who is like the friend. People hang out with me and have fun but, don't invite me to the "extra" events and then they tell me they socialize together without me! So, I am a little sensitive. I just don't know why the book club and op cold be kind and invite her.

If you don't care for this friend do what the pp says. the world is so unfriendly. Would it kill anyone to be kind?

The book club is not a charity organization. No offense, but that's not why they let new members in.

Of course, but could it kill you to be kind once in a while?

Apparently, the only way to be king is to invite someone to a book club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all the people saying OP is a "terrible friend" and a snob trying to look intellectual and exclusive -- do you have any friends or friend groups that actually matter to you? That you have picked because you click? Or do you just operate under an open-door policy, that anyone who crosses paths with you can be your friend? That's just weird.

This is my take. I am the person who is like the friend. People hang out with me and have fun but, don't invite me to the "extra" events and then they tell me they socialize together without me! So, I am a little sensitive. I just don't know why the book club and op cold be kind and invite her.

If you don't care for this friend do what the pp says. the world is so unfriendly. Would it kill anyone to be kind?

The book club is not a charity organization. No offense, but that's not why they let new members in.

Possibly the single most snobbish quote ever.

Ironically, your quote is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all the people saying OP is a "terrible friend" and a snob trying to look intellectual and exclusive -- do you have any friends or friend groups that actually matter to you? That you have picked because you click? Or do you just operate under an open-door policy, that anyone who crosses paths with you can be your friend? That's just weird.

This is my take. I am the person who is like the friend. People hang out with me and have fun but, don't invite me to the "extra" events and then they tell me they socialize together without me! So, I am a little sensitive. I just don't know why the book club and op cold be kind and invite her.

If you don't care for this friend do what the pp says. the world is so unfriendly. Would it kill anyone to be kind?

The book club is not a charity organization. No offense, but that's not why they let new members in.

Okay. So why do they let new members in ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol at the idea of having an exclusive book club.

Right? The same people with the same opinions all the time. What a boring book club.

You are free to start your own. Are you being tied down?

Of course not and I'd do a fade on this "friend" too because she doesn't sound like much of one. Especially if she gave a dick response like yours.

Why the quotes? They are friends at the level they are at. Why do so many posters demand total devotion from a new friend, or they don't deserve the title "friend"? They're NEW friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all the people saying OP is a "terrible friend" and a snob trying to look intellectual and exclusive -- do you have any friends or friend groups that actually matter to you? That you have picked because you click? Or do you just operate under an open-door policy, that anyone who crosses paths with you can be your friend? That's just weird.

This is my take. I am the person who is like the friend. People hang out with me and have fun but, don't invite me to the "extra" events and then they tell me they socialize together without me! So, I am a little sensitive. I just don't know why the book club and op cold be kind and invite her.

If you don't care for this friend do what the pp says. the world is so unfriendly. Would it kill anyone to be kind?

The book club is not a charity organization. No offense, but that's not why they let new members in.

Okay. So why do they let new members in ?

They don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all the people saying OP is a "terrible friend" and a snob trying to look intellectual and exclusive -- do you have any friends or friend groups that actually matter to you? That you have picked because you click? Or do you just operate under an open-door policy, that anyone who crosses paths with you can be your friend? That's just weird.

This is my take. I am the person who is like the friend. People hang out with me and have fun but, don't invite me to the "extra" events and then they tell me they socialize together without me! So, I am a little sensitive. I just don't know why the book club and op cold be kind and invite her.

If you don't care for this friend do what the pp says. the world is so unfriendly. Would it kill anyone to be kind?

The book club is not a charity organization. No offense, but that's not why they let new members in.

Of course, but could it kill you to be kind once in a while?

Apparently, the only way to be king is to invite someone to a book club.

Where did I say the only way. But it is one way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you ever talk to your friend about the book club? My guess is you wanted to boast or show how intellectual you are or how many friends you have. I guess you can say that the group has a standing agreement not to invite new members because if everyone did, the size would grow untenable. How about you ask her to launch a new book club which you will also participate in? You can read two books a month, right?

This. If you didn't want her to join your "highly exclusive" club, you shouldn't have mentioned it. You don't sound like much of a friend.

Pretty soon her friend should know what type of a friend the OP is to her. I find this to be very sad.

This is probably why some of you don't have friends. START SLOW. OP said her book club was made up of members who had known each other for years. Her new friend is a neighbor. It takes time to become actual friends.

Calm down. Give your relationships some time. You'll slowly grow some friends.

I have friends but, how do you take it to the next level? If you never ask the answer will always be no.