The looks differential in a marriage

[Anonymous]

I get this occasionally from women I don't know, they cut down my wife who is three years older than me, and if we are going to be objective, has aged faster. I think it's just a combination of her being very thin (lack of natural collagen) but I get mistaken for several years younger and her several years older. Women can be mean, especially if they think there is an opening.

[Anonymous]

I was very beautiful when I was young. I was approached regularly by modeling agencies. But I was also very smart, kind, fun, and good in bed. I had a boyfriend who I was head over heels in love with. He was cute, but not objectively super handsome. The problem was that he was constantly criticizing the tiniest aspects of my appearance and treating me like I wasn’t good enough for him. He dumped me and married a woman who is quite homely, not very feminine, and who frankly most people would look at and assume that she was not straight. It was so weird. I’m not saying he had to pick me, but this seemed like a strange choice and an odd veer from the type of woman he usually dated (we were friends before dating and I knew some of his exes). Then again, he was never as into sex as a twenty something guy should have been, so maybe the “beard” theory was true in this case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I was ugly and married to a hot guy I’d probably get a little rude too. People like OP are so harsh about a woman’s attractiveness and I’m sure she knows she is constantly judged for it. I’d probably save the food parts of my personality for people who were clearly respectful to me.

Nowhere did OP mention that she was rude or disrespectful to the ugly wife. Some people can just be curious how the dynamics of a hot man and ugly woman come about without being rude to the wife. You know, like I’m still kind and respectful to people who hold differing political views even though I find their opinions on some issues really odd.

You need to stop projecting onto OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of men want to security of knowing their wife won't cheat on them from what I have seen in my friend group. These men dated a lot of women before marriage and were good looking but insecure.

Ok, maybe, but how do they stomach being intimate with someone so unattractive? There’s a ton of beautiful women around; do they not see them and wish they’d done better?

- A man

OK, if we're going to be THIS freaking shallow about how sex is solely about looks and not about love, I'll play that game with you, "A Man" PP.

You do know that the face doesn't have to matter when you're having sex--right? You've never heard the expression "You're not looking at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire in the fireplace"?

Before you come back to complain "But but but..what if she's not a stick figure/her breasts are not perfectly taut/she has a stray hair under her arm?" etc. ad nauseam: Again, do you really not get how one can have sex, yes, even great sex, with someone who is not model-perfect over every inch of their bodies? Maybe you like the feeling of those skinny bones sticking into you during sex, I guess.

Eh, people here are not just shallow, they're incredibly dim and unimaginative too.

Uh oh... this thread has touched an ugly nerve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of men want to security of knowing their wife won't cheat on them from what I have seen in my friend group. These men dated a lot of women before marriage and were good looking but insecure.

Ok, maybe, but how do they stomach being intimate with someone so unattractive? There’s a ton of beautiful women around; do they not see them and wish they’d done better?

- A man

OK, if we're going to be THIS freaking shallow about how sex is solely about looks and not about love, I'll play that game with you, "A Man" PP.

You do know that the face doesn't have to matter when you're having sex--right? You've never heard the expression "You're not looking at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire in the fireplace"?

Before you come back to complain "But but but..what if she's not a stick figure/her breasts are not perfectly taut/she has a stray hair under her arm?" etc. ad nauseam: Again, do you really not get how one can have sex, yes, even great sex, with someone who is not model-perfect over every inch of their bodies? Maybe you like the feeling of those skinny bones sticking into you during sex, I guess.

Eh, people here are not just shallow, they're incredibly dim and unimaginative too.

Uh oh... this thread has touched an ugly nerve.

Nothing ugly about calling out a man who just cannot think how someone could "stomach being intimate" with a less than (his idea of) perfect woman. He really has zero idea that people have sex with other people who don't match his concept of attractiveness, and actually might be enjoying that sex? He needs to re-read some of the posts here from men who have actual brains and souls and not just genitals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, different strokes for different folks. Do you know how many men consider Rossy De Palma stunning?

She’s hot! But I like the crosseyed big nose types because they remind me of a girl in college who was, to this day, the best sex I’ve ever had.

oral? piv? all together?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am still in awe that someone as lovely as Kim K. has chosen someone as gangly as Pete Davidson to be her man vs. all the gorgeous celebrities that she could have in a heartbeat.

lovely??? omg!!! I agree he’s ghostly but he’s probably pleasing them to the max … it wears off after some time, he’s needy and out of job right now … remember, Cindy Crawford didn’t know how to get her daughter from under his spell, he maybe like that sam lufti for britney, very weird

[Anonymous]

20+ years ago when we met I was a “number one stunner”. Twenty years, two kids, and a husband with a health crisis, which turned me into being the breadwinner…so now I look like an exhausted, stressed, overweight 44 year old woman. Which is what I am.

My DH, of course, is aging like a silver fox because he just foists everything off on me.

So there is that. If you met us today, you might certainly ask yourself what he sees in me if the only thing you value is looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I was ugly and married to a hot guy I’d probably get a little rude too. People like OP are so harsh about a woman’s attractiveness and I’m sure she knows she is constantly judged for it. I’d probably save the food parts of my personality for people who were clearly respectful to me.

Nowhere did OP mention that she was rude or disrespectful to the ugly wife. Some people can just be curious how the dynamics of a hot man and ugly woman come about without being rude to the wife. You know, like I’m still kind and respectful to people who hold differing political views even though I find their opinions on some issues really odd.

You need to stop projecting onto OP.

The very characterization of this issue--"how could a hot man be with an ugly woman???"--is rude and disrespectful, right? I personally think it's rude to call somebody else ugly. It's definitely not something yo'd say to her face or her husband's face, and there is a reason for that. I didn't actually say OP was rude to this woman but she sure is being rude here, and unless she is an excellent actress and perfectly hiding the fact that she can't understand why this woman got such a catch, she probably was a little rude to her.

And look at this thread. People think this guy married this woman to hide his sexuality or because her family has money, or that she became ugly over time. That's really mean! And this woman cannot be ignorant about the way people pass judgment about her. She must know that people talk about her behind her back, and I am sure some people express nonverbal surprise directly to her that *she* is with *him*. And I bet people have been openly disdainful about it. So yeah I'd definitely have a chip on my shoulder if I was in her shoes.

And I do just think the OP betrays a little jealousy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a male friend who is really, really attractive. His wife is really unattractive but thinks she is hot (takes lots of selfies making the pouty face, for example) she is very confident. And her personality isn’t good either: she’s quick tempered, whiny, high maintenance, frequently unkind, not that intelligent, has zero patience w their kids and isn’t a very warm or loving parent, expects her husband to do everything around the house (he does all the cooking, most of the cleaning, taking the kids to activities, etc) even though they both work full time and earn about the same amount.

Their reason for being married? My friend wanted to become a U.S. citizen so he married her for that reason. And now that they have kids he feels trapped.

This is really mean and the fact that you want to sleep with your “friend” drips through the post. How could you possibly know any of that without having an inappropriate relationship with this guy? Sorry he married her not you.

[Anonymous]

My husband is probably considered better looking than me.

He has a low sex drive
Alcoholic
Lies
Superficial
Only cares about $$$$

I could go on. I’d gladly be married to an uglier man who is a better spouse.

[Anonymous]

I once heard the expression “There is only enough room in the mirror for one.” Perhaps his ego only extends to himself and he doesn’t want to compete for “hottest in the relationship?” Then again, the person who crafted the expression was a VERY attractive and closeted gay man married to a far less attractive, but wealthy woman, so there you go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a male friend who is really, really attractive. His wife is really unattractive but thinks she is hot (takes lots of selfies making the pouty face, for example) she is very confident. And her personality isn’t good either: she’s quick tempered, whiny, high maintenance, frequently unkind, not that intelligent, has zero patience w their kids and isn’t a very warm or loving parent, expects her husband to do everything around the house (he does all the cooking, most of the cleaning, taking the kids to activities, etc) even though they both work full time and earn about the same amount.

Their reason for being married? My friend wanted to become a U.S. citizen so he married her for that reason. And now that they have kids he feels trapped.

This is really mean and the fact that you want to sleep with your “friend” drips through the post. How could you possibly know any of that without having an inappropriate relationship with this guy? Sorry he married her not you.

Maybe he’s sorry too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a male friend who is really, really attractive. His wife is really unattractive but thinks she is hot (takes lots of selfies making the pouty face, for example) she is very confident. And her personality isn’t good either: she’s quick tempered, whiny, high maintenance, frequently unkind, not that intelligent, has zero patience w their kids and isn’t a very warm or loving parent, expects her husband to do everything around the house (he does all the cooking, most of the cleaning, taking the kids to activities, etc) even though they both work full time and earn about the same amount.

Their reason for being married? My friend wanted to become a U.S. citizen so he married her for that reason. And now that they have kids he feels trapped.

This is really mean and the fact that you want to sleep with your “friend” drips through the post. How could you possibly know any of that without having an inappropriate relationship with this guy? Sorry he married her not you.

Maybe he’s sorry too.

If he seemed sorry, OP wouldn’t be stewing over it and posting on the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a male friend who is really, really attractive. His wife is really unattractive but thinks she is hot (takes lots of selfies making the pouty face, for example) she is very confident. And her personality isn’t good either: she’s quick tempered, whiny, high maintenance, frequently unkind, not that intelligent, has zero patience w their kids and isn’t a very warm or loving parent, expects her husband to do everything around the house (he does all the cooking, most of the cleaning, taking the kids to activities, etc) even though they both work full time and earn about the same amount.

Their reason for being married? My friend wanted to become a U.S. citizen so he married her for that reason. And now that they have kids he feels trapped.

This is really mean and the fact that you want to sleep with your “friend” drips through the post. How could you possibly know any of that without having an inappropriate relationship with this guy? Sorry he married her not you.

Maybe he’s sorry too.

If he seemed sorry, OP wouldn’t be stewing over it and posting on the internet.

You would be surprised. A large majority of people probably have regrets about who they married.