The looks differential in a marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a large majority of men, but not all obviously, care more about a woman's appearance and sexiness to look at than anything else about her. Everything else comes second or further down. It's not uncommon at all for a guy to snag a looker and then be all baffled when she turns out to be a psycho or a bad mother or have a nasty personality, etc. They don't mind it too much if she turns out to be kind of low IQ, in fact many seem to prefer that as well.

I would prefer a merit scholar over a beauty pageant winner.

Why not both?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a large majority of men, but not all obviously, care more about a woman's appearance and sexiness to look at than anything else about her. Everything else comes second or further down. It's not uncommon at all for a guy to snag a looker and then be all baffled when she turns out to be a psycho or a bad mother or have a nasty personality, etc. They don't mind it too much if she turns out to be kind of low IQ, in fact many seem to prefer that as well.

No. Guy here. Good looks/sexiness is part of the mix, but no, no one I know cares more about that than anything else. At least not in my social circle, which is basically guys who well educated, high income, from good families, and with lots of professional and personal success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a large majority of men, but not all obviously, care more about a woman's appearance and sexiness to look at than anything else about her. Everything else comes second or further down. It's not uncommon at all for a guy to snag a looker and then be all baffled when she turns out to be a psycho or a bad mother or have a nasty personality, etc. They don't mind it too much if she turns out to be kind of low IQ, in fact many seem to prefer that as well.

No, I think a large majority of men want a women who will have regular, enthusiastic sex with them. They would trade a gorgeous woman for one that is less attractive (but not extremely unattractive) and sex positive. I don’t think most men would marry a woman that is high maintenance, argumentative, or would be a bad mother. Most educated men want someone with an average or above IQ.

Most men (and women) are not of high intelligence and education. Less than half of all adults have a bachelors degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it’s a handsome man and an unattractive woman I automatically think beard, if it’s a beautiful woman and unattractive man I automatically think Rich.

x1000000


Yup, this. Especially if the man has that big swoopy hair going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a large majority of men, but not all obviously, care more about a woman's appearance and sexiness to look at than anything else about her. Everything else comes second or further down. It's not uncommon at all for a guy to snag a looker and then be all baffled when she turns out to be a psycho or a bad mother or have a nasty personality, etc. They don't mind it too much if she turns out to be kind of low IQ, in fact many seem to prefer that as well.

I would prefer a merit scholar over a beauty pageant winner.

Ditto. Let’s face it, kids’ll be better off inheriting high IQ and maternal income AND free tutoring and home grown college consulting as well.

Another woman pretending to be a man. You are delusional. Men are driven by sex. They don't get aroused by the thought of "home grown consulting." Handsome men who marry unattractive women are 1) gay or 2) looking for financial and social opportunities. Both cheat with men or good looking women.

Then why did my ex cheat on me with an objectively uglier woman? And I'm definitely sex-positive.

Answer: people are complicated and it's not as simple as you present. Maybe you are simple I can't speak to that- but other people have layers.

You can't be serious. You need therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. I’ve been thinking about this thread because my husband is more attractive than I am, but I decided it’s impossible to make general statements because beauty is just too subjective.

Husband is objectively hot, but he’s also non-white, which causes some people to overlook him and also left him less secure about his looks. He also usually dresses poorly. At least when we’re out together, I only notice other women staring when he’s fancied up in a suit. (I hate it, it does make me insecure, so I’m glad we don’t dress up very often!)

But then also, I’m hard to categorize. I’m above average, but far from gorgeous or hot. But when I was single I always, *always* had a circle of devoted men who wanted to date me. So there must be more to attraction than purely looks? FWIW, I’m a happy person who I’ve been told has the personality of a beloved kindergarten teacher, and I thiink a lot of men find that appealing. Based on his ex-girlfriend and celebrity crushes, I’m pretty sure I’m exactly my husband’s “type” as well.

But to the extent that you CAN generalize, husband is definitely hotter. He’s also younger and makes more money. But I know I’m a 10/10 as a life partner, and some men genuinely do see intelligence and personality as the most important factor.

Are you white? A lot of POC are attracted to lighter skin and dating someone white is an upgrade. I know it's wrong but it's also real. I'm from an eastern European country and we had a major problem with poor country girls, the tall blonde ones, being trafficked in the Middle East and Asia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is it that sometimes incredibly attractive people end up with a partner that’s really unattractive? I recently met a couple where the husband is drop dead GQ gorgeous and his wife is just really homely. And she’s actually quite rude and cold to everyone as well, so how on earth does this happen for a man who looks like such a great catch?

Haha girl, are you my neighbor who keeps telling my husband he’s a catch? Stop already! You’re embarrassing yourself! Please focus on your own husband!!

[Anonymous]

I know two guys who have been open with their guy friends that they’re not into the woman they’re dating anymore, but she’s so rich… what to do they say! Jerks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a large majority of men, but not all obviously, care more about a woman's appearance and sexiness to look at than anything else about her. Everything else comes second or further down. It's not uncommon at all for a guy to snag a looker and then be all baffled when she turns out to be a psycho or a bad mother or have a nasty personality, etc. They don't mind it too much if she turns out to be kind of low IQ, in fact many seem to prefer that as well.

In the beginning and when they’re younger perhaps but not after living together.

[Anonymous]

I mean there’s a whole French phrase about this exact thing: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Je%20ne%20sais%20quoi&=true

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a large majority of men, but not all obviously, care more about a woman's appearance and sexiness to look at than anything else about her. Everything else comes second or further down. It's not uncommon at all for a guy to snag a looker and then be all baffled when she turns out to be a psycho or a bad mother or have a nasty personality, etc. They don't mind it too much if she turns out to be kind of low IQ, in fact many seem to prefer that as well.

I would prefer a merit scholar over a beauty pageant winner.

Ditto. Let’s face it, kids’ll be better off inheriting high IQ and maternal income AND free tutoring and home grown college consulting as well.

Another woman pretending to be a man. You are delusional. Men are driven by sex. They don't get aroused by the thought of "home grown consulting." Handsome men who marry unattractive women are 1) gay or 2) looking for financial and social opportunities. Both cheat with men or good looking women.

I don’t get it, what did the PP said to irk you that much … you seem to need something, vacay maybe?
Then why did my ex cheat on me with an objectively uglier woman? And I'm definitely sex-positive.

Answer: people are complicated and it's not as simple as you present. Maybe you are simple I can't speak to that- but other people have layers.

You can't be serious. You need therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a large majority of men, but not all obviously, care more about a woman's appearance and sexiness to look at than anything else about her. Everything else comes second or further down. It's not uncommon at all for a guy to snag a looker and then be all baffled when she turns out to be a psycho or a bad mother or have a nasty personality, etc. They don't mind it too much if she turns out to be kind of low IQ, in fact many seem to prefer that as well.

I would prefer a merit scholar over a beauty pageant winner.

Why not both?

I find beauty pageants sad and shallow but truly detest baby peagents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a large majority of men, but not all obviously, care more about a woman's appearance and sexiness to look at than anything else about her. Everything else comes second or further down. It's not uncommon at all for a guy to snag a looker and then be all baffled when she turns out to be a psycho or a bad mother or have a nasty personality, etc. They don't mind it too much if she turns out to be kind of low IQ, in fact many seem to prefer that as well.

In the beginning and when they’re younger perhaps but not after living together.

Attraction has a limited period of up to 4 years tops.

[Anonymous]

My husband is way better looking than me but he is socially awkward and anxious, he loves me for the excitement I bring into his life. Also he thinks I am beautiful even though objectively I am totally frumpy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a large majority of men, but not all obviously, care more about a woman's appearance and sexiness to look at than anything else about her. Everything else comes second or further down. It's not uncommon at all for a guy to snag a looker and then be all baffled when she turns out to be a psycho or a bad mother or have a nasty personality, etc. They don't mind it too much if she turns out to be kind of low IQ, in fact many seem to prefer that as well.

I would prefer a merit scholar over a beauty pageant winner.

Why not both?

I find beauty pageants sad and shallow but truly detest baby peagents.

You are being a little too literal there, don’t you think?