The looks differential in a marriage

[Anonymous]

I think we’re all accustomed to seeing couples where the woman is hotter but it’s really shocking when you encounter the opposite. I’ve been at parties where everyone is whispering about that couple all night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think we’re all accustomed to seeing couples where the woman is hotter but it’s really shocking when you encounter the opposite. I’ve been at parties where everyone is whispering about that couple all night.

It IS shocking when it’s an attractive male with a plain woman. It doesn’t happen much because those guys typically select equally good looking partners.

[Anonymous]

I’ve known a few couples like this, one that really made me confused because their dynamic wasn’t even great??? I think he was with her for her money

[Anonymous]

She's wealthy.

[Anonymous]

In my experience, men really don't want to be the breadwinner if they can get any with someone else footing bill for the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who has the best personality ever- so funny and fun and warm, people just gravitate to her and want to be around her. She is honestly pretty plain looking though, while her husband is just delicious looking, but quiet and reserved. Opposites attract!

You missed the part where the wife is rude and cold.

Of course she is rude and cold to OP. She can see the judgment all over OP's shallow face.

[Anonymous]

He's gay. I've known a couples where the really hot husband with the unattractive wife came out as gay later.

I know one couple where both were gay

[Anonymous]

The truth is that they probably regret their partner doesn't measure up, but they value the stability of their union (financially, socially, because of kids, etc) more than they do trying to find someone else - finding someone even half-decent is damned hard work!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he loves her?

Here's a brutally honest yet loving comment from one anonymous man (from https://ask.metafilter.com/212798/Im-ugly-now-what):

"My wife is ugly. She knows it and I know it, but we've never talked about it. It's that hard. Until I met her, fell in love with her, and married her, I never really understood what a burden ugliness is, especially for a woman.

I've never told her that she's beautiful, something that I just said automatically and spontaneously to so many girlfriends. In a candid sad moment once she told me that no one told her she was beautiful on our wedding day. When we watch movies and someone tells a woman how beautiful she is I cringe inside, because it is a reminder of how huge and every present this myth of beauty is. It's what every woman is told she is supposed to be pretty much from the day she's born, and my wife just isn't that. She fails it utterly, and there are just constant reminders of it.

So that's all very depressing, but I'm telling you this because I did fall in love with her and I did marry her, and we're very happy together, and we have two beautiful children (there's that word again, sorry). And in case it matters, I'm not ugly myself. I've been told that I'm attractive, and I went to a good college and have been reasonably successful in life. So I don't think she had to trade down to find someone to marry her. I didn't either, that's the thing.

I'm writing this because all these other people are responding kind of telling you not to worry about it, but I'm not sure they really understand how hard it is for a woman to be ugly, with uneven droopy eyes and uneven lips and bad skin and the rest. It's hard and I feel for you. But I also wanted to write to assure that there's still hope, and there's still love out there for you. There was and is for my wife, so I know there can be for you too."

This isn't loving to me. In fact it's kind of awful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it’s a handsome man and an unattractive woman I automatically think beard, if it’s a beautiful woman and unattractive man I automatically think Rich.

Beard??

"The boyfriend or girlfriend of a closeted homosexual, used to conceal their sexuality"

[Anonymous]

I married my husband for his good values, work ethic, kindness. Super don’t care that he’s not Brad Pitt looks-wise. We’ll all be old prunes in the end anyway.

[Anonymous]

I have a male friend who is really, really attractive. His wife is really unattractive but thinks she is hot (takes lots of selfies making the pouty face, for example) she is very confident. And her personality isn’t good either: she’s quick tempered, whiny, high maintenance, frequently unkind, not that intelligent, has zero patience w their kids and isn’t a very warm or loving parent, expects her husband to do everything around the house (he does all the cooking, most of the cleaning, taking the kids to activities, etc) even though they both work full time and earn about the same amount.

Their reason for being married? My friend wanted to become a U.S. citizen so he married her for that reason. And now that they have kids he feels trapped.

[Anonymous]

Ugly rich dudes have hot wives often

Hot blue collar men (even ones with money) have less attractive wives but they usually are in love and committed … good cooks, good mom, etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who has the best personality ever- so funny and fun and warm, people just gravitate to her and want to be around her. She is honestly pretty plain looking though, while her husband is just delicious looking, but quiet and reserved. Opposites attract!

You missed the part where the wife is rude and cold.

Of course she is rude and cold to OP. She can see the judgment all over OP's shallow face.

Now this is just silly. You have no way of knowing that OP treats the wife in a judgemental way. It’s just impossible for DCUM to accept that the wife is both ugly and rude.

[Anonymous]

DCUM would probably say that my wife is ugly. But she is fun, smart, hilarious, and great in the sack, and I love being around here all the time.