Boyfriend Asked For A Break

[Anonymous]

I feel like this is an excuse to pull away. He’s putting this all in your lap and that doesn’t feel fair. If you are as connected as you thought (thinking of marriage, etc.) then this won’t derail you. I would take him at his word and prepare to move on.

[Anonymous]

Your boyfriend did the right thing.

In 10 years, you would have been one of the posters lamenting about “the one that got away”. Likely looked your ex up on Facebook and met up behind his back.

The new BF has good instincts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is clearly on a rebound and decision to become exclusive was premature.

Yep. Serial monogamist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your boyfriend did the right thing.

In 10 years, you would have been one of the posters lamenting about “the one that got away”. Likely looked your ex up on Facebook and met up behind his back.

The new BF has good instincts.

Yeah. He dodged a bullet.

[Anonymous]

OP- don’t blame yourself ! You did nothing wrong really ! It’s so low life for him trying to shift the gilt for ending the relationship to you. He met someone else that’s always the answer when they snap out of nothing.
If he ever comes back my suggestion is to drop a recording device in his car and you will quickly figure it out. Don’t be silly, move on.

[Anonymous]

He sounds like a misogynist, OP. You dodged a bullet. He couldn’t cope with the idea that you had a sex life before him so he wants to control and punish you for it. He probably has a side piece he wants to explore and this is his excuse to do so. If it doesn’t work out with her, then he’ll probably be back with some song and dance of how he’ll take you back if you meet various conditions.

Move on, OP. You’re worth more than that.

[Anonymous]

OP- don’t blame yourself ! You did nothing wrong really ! It’s so low life for him trying to shift the gilt for ending the relationship to you. He met someone else that’s always the answer when they snap out of nothing.
If he ever comes back my suggestion is to drop a recording device in his car and you will quickly figure it out. Don’t be silly, move on.

Did you read the OP? You sound delusional. She lied to him. He found it and said he wanted a break. Some people value honesty and trust in a relationship. He doesn’t want to get burned by her farther down the road. He’s smart, and she is definitely not a victim in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP- don’t blame yourself ! You did nothing wrong really ! It’s so low life for him trying to shift the gilt for ending the relationship to you. He met someone else that’s always the answer when they snap out of nothing.
If he ever comes back my suggestion is to drop a recording device in his car and you will quickly figure it out. Don’t be silly, move on.

Did you read the OP? You sound delusional. She lied to him. He found it and said he wanted a break. Some people value honesty and trust in a relationship. He doesn’t want to get burned by her farther down the road. He’s smart, and she is definitely not a victim in this situation.

DP. If OP felt the need to lie about something that wasn’t wrong in the first place (since they weren’t exclusive) that suggests to me that on some level, OP knows she can’t trust this guy to react rationally and reasonably to something like that. If you’re so controlling, judgmental and retaliatory that people feel like they need to hide innocuous stuff to avoid upsetting you, then you’re the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP- don’t blame yourself ! You did nothing wrong really ! It’s so low life for him trying to shift the gilt for ending the relationship to you. He met someone else that’s always the answer when they snap out of nothing.
If he ever comes back my suggestion is to drop a recording device in his car and you will quickly figure it out. Don’t be silly, move on.

Did you read the OP? You sound delusional. She lied to him. He found it and said he wanted a break. Some people value honesty and trust in a relationship. He doesn’t want to get burned by her farther down the road. He’s smart, and she is definitely not a victim in this situation.

DP. If OP felt the need to lie about something that wasn’t wrong in the first place (since they weren’t exclusive) that suggests to me that on some level, OP knows she can’t trust this guy to react rationally and reasonably to something like that. If you’re so controlling, judgmental and retaliatory that people feel like they need to hide innocuous stuff to avoid upsetting you, then you’re the problem.

What kind of twisted logic is this?

She slept with her ex and on the very same day asked the bf to exclusive. That just screams sincere, loyal, dedicated, stable, balanced trustworthy partner. She felt the need to lie because she knows her behavior was sketchy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- don’t blame yourself ! You did nothing wrong really ! It’s so low life for him trying to shift the gilt for ending the relationship to you. He met someone else that’s always the answer when they snap out of nothing.
If he ever comes back my suggestion is to drop a recording device in his car and you will quickly figure it out. Don’t be silly, move on.

She lied to him. That is what she did wrong. He asked did you sleep with this guy and she said no. It’s something you would not understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can’t have sex with one person and next day ask another person to become exclusive.

He can’t illegally snoop into someone’s phone then use it as exhibit A to take a break.

This relationship isn’t likely to go far. How can you two trust each other?

Yes, you can. She did nothing wrong.
He is more in the wrong than she is.

Until you are exclusive, sex is none of the other person's business. I can be a week before, a month before, a year before, a day before and hours before. She realized what she wanted and made a decision. She did nothing wrong. Stop villanizing her.

Her boyfriend holding this over her head is ridiculous. This should be a permanent break up and she should not look back. Any man who asks about your sex life before an exclusive agreement is bad news. He is not the one. He is immature.

+1. Move on from this guy. He is insecure and nosy.

[Anonymous]

Don't drag this out. It is not going to work. Trust is destroyed on both sides. Don't bother with the break. Just end things now and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- don’t blame yourself ! You did nothing wrong really ! It’s so low life for him trying to shift the gilt for ending the relationship to you. He met someone else that’s always the answer when they snap out of nothing.
If he ever comes back my suggestion is to drop a recording device in his car and you will quickly figure it out. Don’t be silly, move on.

She lied to him. That is what she did wrong. He asked did you sleep with this guy and she said no. It’s something you would not understand.

Exactly! She very well could have just said "I don't think that is your business, we are not exclusive." If she thought a certain type of response to answer would make him an insecure guy, leave him! Why would she want to be with such an insecure guy?!? But now his knowledge of that impulse to deceive and play games with the truth will always be there. The stakes may be higher next time.

[Anonymous]

Oh my these posters are deranged OP. No man, no matter what stage in the relationship has the right to know what you did PRIOR to him (unless criminal). You weren't in an exclusive relationship. The issue is that you felt the need to lie because woman are conditioned that their sexual freedom isn't equal to men. You did nothing wrong! It was an omission, that's your choice. This guy intended to breach your privacy. He's an insecure douche, and owes you an apology. Give him the space to work out his stupid mental torment (give me a break). No contact. Actually, take the time to realize he's going to be a lot of work if you choose to pursue. The pp that suggested you wipe out history on all devices is a lunatic. Your life, your body, your privacy. Rules of engagement only apply to marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP- don’t blame yourself ! You did nothing wrong really ! It’s so low life for him trying to shift the gilt for ending the relationship to you. He met someone else that’s always the answer when they snap out of nothing.
If he ever comes back my suggestion is to drop a recording device in his car and you will quickly figure it out. Don’t be silly, move on.

Did you read the OP? You sound delusional. She lied to him. He found it and said he wanted a break. Some people value honesty and trust in a relationship. He doesn’t want to get burned by her farther down the road. He’s smart, and she is definitely not a victim in this situation.

DP. If OP felt the need to lie about something that wasn’t wrong in the first place (since they weren’t exclusive) that suggests to me that on some level, OP knows she can’t trust this guy to react rationally and reasonably to something like that. If you’re so controlling, judgmental and retaliatory that people feel like they need to hide innocuous stuff to avoid upsetting you, then you’re the problem.

What kind of twisted logic is this?

She slept with her ex and on the very same day asked the bf to exclusive. That just screams sincere, loyal, dedicated, stable, balanced trustworthy partner. She felt the need to lie because she knows her behavior was sketchy.

He put her in a lousy position by asking the question. They were not exclusive so if she had slept with someone, it shouldn’t have been an issue. But he asked about it because for him, it would have been an issue if she’d slept with someone else while they were not exclusive. That screams controlling.