Boyfriend Asked For A Break

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of almost a year told me he needed a break after he found out I lied about sleeping with my ex earlier in our relationship. He says finding out that I lied to him has made him question things, and he needs time alone to process it. I admit lying to him was stupid, but we were new, and I was afraid he wouldn’t want to be with me if I told him I slept with my ex. I love him and plan on marrying him. This has been very hard and I don’t know what to do or say to him back. I’m devastated at the thought of losing him. I feel like my whole life and future is being blown up for one past transgression. I don’t know if and how I can fix it.

[Anonymous]

You can’t fix it. It is what is.

[Anonymous]

Had you agreed to be exclusive, and then you slept with your ex? Had you had a convo where he asked if you’d slept with anyone recently maybe for std reasons and you lied?

[Anonymous]

Yeah. There’s no way to fix this. Give him space and see what happens. Don’t sleep with anyone else unless he ends it!

[Anonymous]

You can't fix it. Give him the space he needs.

[Anonymous]

You buried the lead.

“My boyfriend doesn’t want to be with a cheater and a liar.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had you agreed to be exclusive, and then you slept with your ex? Had you had a convo where he asked if you’d slept with anyone recently maybe for std reasons and you lied?

OP here. We were not exclusive when I slept with my ex. It only happened one time and I quickly realized how much I liked my boyfriend and decided to ask him to be exclusive. I have never cheated on a partner and don’t sleep around. When I asked to be exclusive, he said he had stopped talking of others by our third date. He asked if I had been with anyone ( he knew somewhat of the history with my ex) and I told him I had not. I elected not to tell him because my ex and I had planned to get married but him being unsure about kids was a dealbreaker for me. We were very much in love and my ex wanted to make it work, and I didn’t want him to think I was confused or would go back to my ex. He is not upset that I slept with my ex, but that I lied about it.

[Anonymous]

Honesty is always the best policy. It amazes me that people struggle with this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had you agreed to be exclusive, and then you slept with your ex? Had you had a convo where he asked if you’d slept with anyone recently maybe for std reasons and you lied?

OP here. We were not exclusive when I slept with my ex. It only happened one time and I quickly realized how much I liked my boyfriend and decided to ask him to be exclusive. I have never cheated on a partner and don’t sleep around. When I asked to be exclusive, he said he had stopped talking of others by our third date. He asked if I had been with anyone ( he knew somewhat of the history with my ex) and I told him I had not. I elected not to tell him because my ex and I had planned to get married but him being unsure about kids was a dealbreaker for me. We were very much in love and my ex wanted to make it work, and I didn’t want him to think I was confused or would go back to my ex. He is not upset that I slept with my ex, but that I lied about it.

He probably thinks you settled for him because your ex wouldn’t give you kids. Do you still love your ex and talk to him?

[Anonymous]

You cheated on him. Only he knows if he can get over it.

[Anonymous]

He will get past it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had you agreed to be exclusive, and then you slept with your ex? Had you had a convo where he asked if you’d slept with anyone recently maybe for std reasons and you lied?

That doesn't matter anymore. It may have been a good argument at the time, but now, the issue is that she lied about it, even if reasonable people would think she didn't have to.

[Anonymous]

He's not asking for a break. He's leaving, but wants to keep you on the hoom in case the new thing doesn't work out. Probably sees it as fair play given the circumstances. Anyway, ditch the plan to marry him and move on to the next one.

[Anonymous]

You sound immature OP. It’s over.

[Anonymous]

You loved your ex and wanted to marry him and have his kids but so quickly you are devastated over this new guy? You cant build a relationship on lies and consolation prizes.