Boyfriend Asked For A Break

[Anonymous]

If this new person matters so much then have a heart to heart talk with him. If you two can’t be honest or communicate then it may not be what you think it is.

[Anonymous]

Your mistake was telling him about sleeping with ANYbody before you were exclusive at all, and then coming clean about it later. It’s none of his business one way or the other! In the future, spare yourself the embarassment at all. I know its gauche to say this in 2022 but, a lady never tells!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had you agreed to be exclusive, and then you slept with your ex? Had you had a convo where he asked if you’d slept with anyone recently maybe for std reasons and you lied?

OP here. We were not exclusive when I slept with my ex. It only happened one time and I quickly realized how much I liked my boyfriend and decided to ask him to be exclusive. I have never cheated on a partner and don’t sleep around. When I asked to be exclusive, he said he had stopped talking of others by our third date. He asked if I had been with anyone ( he knew somewhat of the history with my ex) and I told him I had not. I elected not to tell him because my ex and I had planned to get married but him being unsure about kids was a dealbreaker for me. We were very much in love and my ex wanted to make it work, and I didn’t want him to think I was confused or would go back to my ex. He is not upset that I slept with my ex, but that I lied about it.

How did he find out that you lied?

[Anonymous]

Put the R into over and it's Rover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was telling him about sleeping with ANYbody before you were exclusive at all, and then coming clean about it later. It’s none of his business one way or the other! In the future, spare yourself the embarassment at all. I know its gauche to say this in 2022 but, a lady never tells!

Correct. Ask anyone married 50 years. Deception is the key!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You loved your ex and wanted to marry him and have his kids but so quickly you are devastated over this new guy? You cant build a relationship on lies and consolation prizes.

OP here. This is not even accurate. I was with my ex prior to my current boyfriend and he was unsure about wanting kids. I stayed in relationship way too long hoping that he would decide he wanted kids. He didn’t and I decided to end it. I met my boyfriend of almost a year a couple of months after breaking up with my ex. I slept with my ex once during the first month when I went back to collect my things. I realized I really liked my now boyfriend and told my ex that I had moved on and that I couldn’t be in contact with him. I told my boyfriend that night that I wanted to be exclusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had you agreed to be exclusive, and then you slept with your ex? Had you had a convo where he asked if you’d slept with anyone recently maybe for std reasons and you lied?

OP here. We were not exclusive when I slept with my ex. It only happened one time and I quickly realized how much I liked my boyfriend and decided to ask him to be exclusive. I have never cheated on a partner and don’t sleep around. When I asked to be exclusive, he said he had stopped talking of others by our third date. He asked if I had been with anyone ( he knew somewhat of the history with my ex) and I told him I had not. I elected not to tell him because my ex and I had planned to get married but him being unsure about kids was a dealbreaker for me. We were very much in love and my ex wanted to make it work, and I didn’t want him to think I was confused or would go back to my ex. He is not upset that I slept with my ex, but that I lied about it.

How did he find out that you lied?

OP here. He found my old phone when we were cleaning out my apartment and he found the texts with me and my ex telling him that sleeping with him was a mistake and that I really liked my my boyfriend and wanted to see what happened with him. He confronted me and I told him the truth. He went home and then later told me he wanted a break to think things over.

[Anonymous]

Why did you tell him? Seems like old news and nothing that needed to be shared.

[Anonymous]

Did you actually lie to him, or did you just not offer up information about who else you might have been seeing before you and your boyfriend were exclusive?

[Anonymous]

You lied. He snooped.
Call it even and you both move on.

[Anonymous]

How old are you? Don't rush into marriage. This is probably not your guy. Start dating again and don't look back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had you agreed to be exclusive, and then you slept with your ex? Had you had a convo where he asked if you’d slept with anyone recently maybe for std reasons and you lied?

OP here. We were not exclusive when I slept with my ex. It only happened one time and I quickly realized how much I liked my boyfriend and decided to ask him to be exclusive. I have never cheated on a partner and don’t sleep around. When I asked to be exclusive, he said he had stopped talking of others by our third date. He asked if I had been with anyone ( he knew somewhat of the history with my ex) and I told him I had not. I elected not to tell him because my ex and I had planned to get married but him being unsure about kids was a dealbreaker for me. We were very much in love and my ex wanted to make it work, and I didn’t want him to think I was confused or would go back to my ex. He is not upset that I slept with my ex, but that I lied about it.

How did he find out that you lied?

OP here. He found my old phone when we were cleaning out my apartment and he found the texts with me and my ex telling him that sleeping with him was a mistake and that I really liked my my boyfriend and wanted to see what happened with him. He confronted me and I told him the truth. He went home and then later told me he wanted a break to think things over.

How did he just happen to find texts from like a year ago? Either this is a troll, you're lying about how he found out for some reason, he massively massively snooped (like powered on your old phone and went through every text one by one) or he always had suspicions about your ex and went right to those messages....

[Anonymous]

Snooping like that was a pretty big violation on his part. Even if he comes around, I would seriously reconsider your relationship with a person who would violate your privacy like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had you agreed to be exclusive, and then you slept with your ex? Had you had a convo where he asked if you’d slept with anyone recently maybe for std reasons and you lied?

OP here. We were not exclusive when I slept with my ex. It only happened one time and I quickly realized how much I liked my boyfriend and decided to ask him to be exclusive. I have never cheated on a partner and don’t sleep around. When I asked to be exclusive, he said he had stopped talking of others by our third date. He asked if I had been with anyone ( he knew somewhat of the history with my ex) and I told him I had not. I elected not to tell him because my ex and I had planned to get married but him being unsure about kids was a dealbreaker for me. We were very much in love and my ex wanted to make it work, and I didn’t want him to think I was confused or would go back to my ex. He is not upset that I slept with my ex, but that I lied about it.

How did he find out that you lied?

OP here. He found my old phone when we were cleaning out my apartment and he found the texts with me and my ex telling him that sleeping with him was a mistake and that I really liked my my boyfriend and wanted to see what happened with him. He confronted me and I told him the truth. He went home and then later told me he wanted a break to think things over.

How did he just happen to find texts from like a year ago? Either this is a troll, you're lying about how he found out for some reason, he massively massively snooped (like powered on your old phone and went through every text one by one) or he always had suspicions about your ex and went right to those messages....

OP here. My old phone still works and I use it often for music so I keep it charged. He see it while moving and knows it’s not my new phone. He said he looked at the pics because the screenshot was our first pic I took with him. Then he went to the messages and noticed a thread with my ex. I never deleted it because I upgraded my phone like two months in and only keep it at my place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You buried the lead.

“My boyfriend doesn’t want to be with a cheater and a liar.”

It’s LEDE. OP buried the lede.