DS Wants to Transfer, DH Pushing Back

[Anonymous]

I am reading and processing what everyone is saying. Thank you for all viewpoints. It is helping me think through things much more than I ever thought it would. This started out as a mostly a venting post but the feedback and suggestions are much appreciated. I will continue to read and consider anything anyone has to add.

-OP

[Anonymous]

Good luck OP!

These things are never easy. And nobody is perfect, least of all these overly critical posters!

[Anonymous]

He's not IN yet. He should apply to transfer and hold the discussion once he's in.

If DS makes decisions on reasons such as hitting the slopes, not standing up to Dad, not finding anything he likes about Atlanta ... I think this is a maturity thing. It's on DS to step-up big time and makes things happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a tough spot for you.

I think your husband is right and son needs to make more efforts to find more friends and activities at Emory to adjust there.

That said, this can effect son’s mental health and academic interest.

Tell your husband he is right but point isn’t to be right but do what’s right for the child and for father-son relationship.

I hope you guys find a suitable solution.

This! DH is right. Although Tufts is a good school, Emory is a better school and would push my child to go there as well. Although DH is correct, you don't want DS to start doing poorly in school. However one can go skiing in North Ga. Also Tufts is very pre professional as well.

[Anonymous]

DS sounds rebellious. Having dad pay full freight for school is a blessing at a top 20 school at that.

[Anonymous]

I can understand the Tufts vibe thing he might be sensing. They have a big arty community that could make the culture seem less pre-professional overall. Not that it’s the only factor one should consider, but it’s just one thing OP mentioned. She also mentioned that she knows he might not get in. It is dealing with the pressure she feels being pulled from both sides and also understanding each side to some degree.

[Anonymous]

Has he been over to Athens yet for any live music?

[Anonymous]

What is DS major. I think Tufts is only better for engineering or CS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has he been over to Athens yet for any live music?

Live music for under 21 crowd?

[Anonymous]

OMG, let your kid transfer!! I hated the college I went to the moment I arrived, and still hated it (even more) the moment I left. God, transferring saved my life!!

Let the kid make his own decisions!! Geeze. let go.

[Anonymous]

^^ Oh, and I was at an elite (called T20 on this board) college and HATED it. Left for a lower ranked college and LOVED it!!!

[Anonymous]

I would make sure DS applies for transfer whether DH agrees or not, even if it means not telling him. Meanwhile, try to enjoy Emory.

Tufts undergrad does not feel pre-prof according to my freshman there. People are really exploring all the options, even those in business, engineering, pre-med paths.

Tufts overenrolled this year so they may not accept as many transfers, this is just my guess.

The school has done a great job with COVID. It might be more restrictive than Georgia but they are still keeping up all the social and extracurricular activities.

There was a snowstorm last weekend so they were skiing and sledding on pres lawn. There have been tons of ski trips to the Loj and all over the area.

Emory is a great school, but the vibes are very different. I hope it works out for your son. I would try to really dig through your DH’s reasons not to transfer, but advocate for your son’s happiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would make sure DS applies for transfer whether DH agrees or not, even if it means not telling him. Meanwhile, try to enjoy Emory.

Tufts undergrad does not feel pre-prof according to my freshman there. People are really exploring all the options, even those in business, engineering, pre-med paths.

Tufts overenrolled this year so they may not accept as many transfers, this is just my guess.

The school has done a great job with COVID. It might be more restrictive than Georgia but they are still keeping up all the social and extracurricular activities.

There was a snowstorm last weekend so they were skiing and sledding on pres lawn. There have been tons of ski trips to the Loj and all over the area.

Emory is a great school, but the vibes are very different. I hope it works out for your son. I would try to really dig through your DH’s reasons not to transfer, but advocate for your son’s happiness.

This is bad advice, his reasoning for transferring is awful. There's no way, one could hate Atlanta while only being there 4 months. What does he hate about it? I lived there for years and still don't know all of it. What will his transfer essay even look like, I don't think it would go over that well with admissions officers. Either way the issue if his dad and the fact that he's rebelling against his dad. I'm sure DH wants son to follow in his footsteps career wise too. And frankly Emory would likely open more doors especially since he's legacy there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know why your DH pushed so hard for Emory over Tufts. They are basically equivalent schools. Now, Normal freshman adjustment is being seen through the lens of him going to his second choice school.

Are they equivalent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know why your DH pushed so hard for Emory over Tufts. They are basically equivalent schools. Now, Normal freshman adjustment is being seen through the lens of him going to his second choice school.

Are they equivalent?

I’m the PP and yes, I think for all intents and purposes. You can argue about whether one is a little better or more prestigious but at the end of the day it’s not that different. It’s not like dad went to Harvard and kid got in but wanted to go to Radford, or a financial issue which would be understandable. It sounds like dad may have been well intentioned but is trying to relive his own college days rather than focusing on what his son wanted.