DS Wants to Transfer, DH Pushing Back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know why your DH pushed so hard for Emory over Tufts. They are basically equivalent schools. Now, Normal freshman adjustment is being seen through the lens of him going to his second choice school.

Exactly. It sounds like the husband wanted this poor kid to "follow in his footsteps," how self-centered!

seriously, he sounds like a narcissist

+1 Seems to be all about your husband here who, I’m sorry to say, sounds like a jerk.

+2

+3.

[Anonymous]

It’s a tough spot for you.

I think your husband is right and son needs to make more efforts to find more friends and activities at Emory to adjust there.

That said, this can effect son’s mental health and academic interest.

Tell your husband he is right but point isn’t to be right but do what’s right for the child and for father-son relationship.

I hope you guys find a suitable solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your son is being a spoiled brat and you're enabling this.
He should apply to Tufts for post grad. and get on with what he has to do now.

And change his room mate.

Wow, glad you weren't helping me make my decisions growing up.

The decision was made long ago to accept and attend Emroy. This isn't about making decisions it's about being a snowflake.

The decision was made less than a year ago under what sounds like intense pressure from an overbearing parent. Calling someone a spoiled brat or a snowflake when the decision was never fully theirs in the first place is unfair.

No it's not unfair, it's just practical. Kid has gone to a terrific college and is whining about his room mate and the "atmosphere". He's been there how long?

He's been there 4-5 months. You've never decided after 4-5 DAYS that you're never going back to a 5-star restaurant or hotel?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your son is being a spoiled brat and you're enabling this.
He should apply to Tufts for post grad. and get on with what he has to do now.

And change his room mate.

Wow, glad you weren't helping me make my decisions growing up.

The decision was made long ago to accept and attend Emroy. This isn't about making decisions it's about being a snowflake.

The decision was made less than a year ago under what sounds like intense pressure from an overbearing parent. Calling someone a spoiled brat or a snowflake when the decision was never fully theirs in the first place is unfair.

No it's not unfair, it's just practical. Kid has gone to a terrific college and is whining about his room mate and the "atmosphere". He's been there how long?

He's been there 4-5 months. You've never decided after 4-5 DAYS that you're never going back to a 5-star restaurant or hotel?

That's a weird analogy. I don't think I've ever committed to spend 4 years at any hotel or restaurant. And I don't think a college is purely a service provider. It's an institution which has invested in its students and where the students have committed to work hard and contribute.

Maybe come back when you've got a new idea, one that actually works?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your son is being a spoiled brat and you're enabling this.
He should apply to Tufts for post grad. and get on with what he has to do now.

And change his room mate.

Wow, glad you weren't helping me make my decisions growing up.

The decision was made long ago to accept and attend Emroy. This isn't about making decisions it's about being a snowflake.

The decision was made less than a year ago under what sounds like intense pressure from an overbearing parent. Calling someone a spoiled brat or a snowflake when the decision was never fully theirs in the first place is unfair.

No it's not unfair, it's just practical. Kid has gone to a terrific college and is whining about his room mate and the "atmosphere". He's been there how long?

He's been there 4-5 months. You've never decided after 4-5 DAYS that you're never going back to a 5-star restaurant or hotel?

That's a weird analogy. I don't think I've ever committed to spend 4 years at any hotel or restaurant. And I don't think a college is purely a service provider. It's an institution which has invested in its students and where the students have committed to work hard and contribute.

Maybe come back when you've got a new idea, one that actually works?

I did say DAYS, and meant to add HOURS for the restaurant. But no, if you don't get the analogy, I don't think there's any point in coming back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your son is being a spoiled brat and you're enabling this.
He should apply to Tufts for post grad. and get on with what he has to do now.

And change his room mate.

Wow, glad you weren't helping me make my decisions growing up.

The decision was made long ago to accept and attend Emroy. This isn't about making decisions it's about being a snowflake.

The decision was made less than a year ago under what sounds like intense pressure from an overbearing parent. Calling someone a spoiled brat or a snowflake when the decision was never fully theirs in the first place is unfair.

No it's not unfair, it's just practical. Kid has gone to a terrific college and is whining about his room mate and the "atmosphere". He's been there how long?

He's been there 4-5 months. You've never decided after 4-5 DAYS that you're never going back to a 5-star restaurant or hotel?

If cuisine or food taste isn’t suited to my palate and tastebuds, I don’t see a point in keep eating there again & again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The dad should let his kid live his own life.

+1. This is the son's college experience, not the dad's, version 2.0.

[Anonymous]

How much money have you wasted on Tufts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your son is being a spoiled brat and you're enabling this.
He should apply to Tufts for post grad. and get on with what he has to do now.

And change his room mate.

Wow, glad you weren't helping me make my decisions growing up.

The decision was made long ago to accept and attend Emroy. This isn't about making decisions it's about being a snowflake.

The decision was made less than a year ago under what sounds like intense pressure from an overbearing parent. Calling someone a spoiled brat or a snowflake when the decision was never fully theirs in the first place is unfair.

No it's not unfair, it's just practical. Kid has gone to a terrific college and is whining about his room mate and the "atmosphere". He's been there how long?

He's been there 4-5 months. You've never decided after 4-5 DAYS that you're never going back to a 5-star restaurant or hotel?

That's a weird analogy. I don't think I've ever committed to spend 4 years at any hotel or restaurant. And I don't think a college is purely a service provider. It's an institution which has invested in its students and where the students have committed to work hard and contribute.

Maybe come back when you've got a new idea, one that actually works?

I did say DAYS, and meant to add HOURS for the restaurant. But no, if you don't get the analogy, I don't think there's any point in coming back.

and yet, here you are...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The dad should let his kid live his own life.

+1

Dad is overly attached to Emory and having his kid be a legacy there. Really weird dynamic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know why your DH pushed so hard for Emory over Tufts. They are basically equivalent schools. Now, Normal freshman adjustment is being seen through the lens of him going to his second choice school.

Exactly. It sounds like the husband wanted this poor kid to "follow in his footsteps," how self-centered!

seriously, he sounds like a narcissist

+1 Seems to be all about your husband here who, I’m sorry to say, sounds like a jerk.

+2

+3.

+4, "you're not presenting a united front" really hammered it home

[Anonymous]

OP, ask your husband to consider this: the longer DS waits to transfer, the more difficult it will be to make new friends, complete all his major's requirements in 4 years, get to know professors who can recommend him for internships/jobs, etc. The decision whether to transfer should be made as soon as possible. Waiting another year to see how it goes is not a good option.

[Anonymous]

What’s the point of trying to raise a mature self sufficient kid if you’re just going to squash his hopes? And FWIW my brother transferred from Emory to Syracuse (two decade ago) and it was the best decision of his life. He met his wife and made life long friends and he’s a successful well-adjusted family man.

[Anonymous]

This was a very hard year to be a first year at college, my daughter was very unhappy for most of 1st semester - hating her school, very upset and dramatic - once we stopped trying to point out all of the good things she should give a chance and said ok fine let's start figuring out where you want to file transfer applications, she stopped fighting the school so hard. I'm not sure now that she is even going to apply to transfer but having support for that outlet somehow let her relax and be more open to getting over loneliness and hard parts of going away. It is very different for kids today than it was for me as a college kid in the late '80s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s the point of trying to raise a mature self sufficient kid if you’re just going to squash his hopes? And FWIW my brother transferred from Emory to Syracuse (two decade ago) and it was the best decision of his life. He met his wife and made life long friends and he’s a successful well-adjusted family man.

Jesus Christ. Why?