SIL is upset I did not punish my step daughter for being disrespectful

[Anonymous]

I'm an adult and if someone offered me less than 1/2 of the going rate for my job, I'd be suppressing a smirk and trying to get out of there fast.

As it is family I would apologise and decline providing care for their family.

[Anonymous]

Maybe just laughing once and then saying, "oh, you weren't joking?!"
I'm team daughter on this one, SIL is the adult here and should be acting like one
On the plus side, she'll never try to low-ball her again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You, your Stepdaughter, and your husband are in the wrong. Full stop. It has zero to do with standing up for herself.

There are 1001 and one ways to your rate and not be nasty.

I say this as someone who worked her way through school as a nanny and babysitting

SIL set the nasty tone by offering less than half of what the SD quoted her. How insulting and rude is that? And SIL is the grown-up!!!!

Sil offered a price. ALl SD had to do was decline, Laughing and being nasty were not required. Even if SIL was intentionally being insulting which I don't believe she was, you do as Michelle Obama tells us to go high, there's never a reason to lower yourself.

Hey! We are talking about a 17 yr old, remember? The SIL is the adult here.

[Anonymous]

So did your SIL find someone to babysit for $10?

Bwah-ha-ha!

I love your stepdaughter’s confidence! Because let’s get this clear- if it happened to a 17 year old boy he would be considered confident. A girl is considered rude. F-that!

[Anonymous]

Team stepdaughter. Your SIL was rude for offering $10, which she must have already known is a laughable rate for 4 kids.

[Anonymous]

You need to teach your daughter how to professional handle idiots

[Anonymous]

Good for your step daughter. Young girls are often taken advantage of because they are afraid to stand up for themselves. Both were rude. You step daughter could simply say no. It's good practice for future negotiations. A simple no rather thanaughing in her face should suffice. I wouldn't make her apologize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your daughter was rude, but your SIL was also rude.

+1

Your daughter should absolutely not have laughed in her face. She should have politely declined the offer. "I'm sorry aunt Sarah, that's below my going rate and I'm unable to babysit your kids that night." and if Sarah pursued with stuff about a family discount, your daughter should have said "I'm sorry aunt Sarah, I won't be able to do it. I hope you're able to find someone else." then walked away.

Your sister, on the other hand, could have politely asked if she would be willing to give a family discount, and stopped when your daughter said no.

[Anonymous]

My daughter laughed in her face and said she was not running a charity and wished her luck finding a babysitter for her cheap price. My daughter then proceeded to walk away laughing.

This is SO rude. Your SIL may not be in the right by expecting $10/hour, but your daughter could have just said "no thank you, I'm not interested" and walked away. It's never okay to laugh at someone.

[Anonymous]

Team SIL, how do you feel about the below scenario? Still feel the kid is in the wrong if gender/work are switched around a bit?

**********
My stepson mows our 1/4 acre lawn for $20/week. He charges neighbors with similar sized lawns $25-30/wk. My BIL, who lives on 1/2 acre of land, asked him to mow it for $10. He laughed and said “come on man, thats insane. Im not a charity case lawn service” and then walked away laughing…now my BIL is pissed that some kid called him out for trying to take advantage of him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope you’re trolling. Your SD was incredibly rude and step or not, I’d have let her know that. It’s fine that they had different ideas of the price and for your SD to decline the job, but laughing at your SIL was way out of line.

Is your SIL from your side of the family or your dh’s?

'Different ideas of the price?" LOL! SIL was rude, $2.50/hour per kid for FOUR kids is a complete insult and she tried to take advantage of a teenager, thinking she'd fold to keep peace in the family. Sorry, but no. She's mad because she's embarrassed, which she should be.

Totally agree, but I also remember that when I first started hiring babysitters, I was SHOCKED at how much teenagers charge. I never proposed $10/hour after someone told me their though!!
Is it possible that SIL has never hired a babysitter before?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team SIL, how do you feel about the below scenario? Still feel the kid is in the wrong if gender/work are switched around a bit?

**********
My stepson mows our 1/4 acre lawn for $20/week. He charges neighbors with similar sized lawns $25-30/wk. My BIL, who lives on 1/2 acre of land, asked him to mow it for $10. He laughed and said “come on man, thats insane. Im not a charity case lawn service” and then walked away laughing…now my BIL is pissed that some kid called him out for trying to take advantage of him.

I'm not team anyone, I think both people were rude in the original scenario and also in this one.

[Anonymous]

I think it's incredibly rude and I'd be horrified if one of my daughters used that attitude with any prospective employer, family or not. I think it shows a true lack of maturity to not be able to say that if SIL is not comfortable with the rate then she'll have to look elsewhere. The snide comment about good luck finding someone else was also unnecessary. Perhaps if SIL doesn't hire sitters much then your SD could have said "I think you'll find the going rate around here is about twice what you've suggested."

Sticking up for oneself is simply not being coerced into accepting something she's already declined. It has nothing to do with being snotty and rude. SIL was wrong to make a case out of it, but that's a separate issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter laughed in her face and said she was not running a charity and wished her luck finding a babysitter for her cheap price. My daughter then proceeded to walk away laughing.

This is SO rude. Your SIL may not be in the right by expecting $10/hour, but your daughter could have just said "no thank you, I'm not interested" and walked away. It's never okay to laugh at someone.

This. Her behavior was rude. She should apologize for just that. But not for declining the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's incredibly rude and I'd be horrified if one of my daughters used that attitude with any prospective employer, family or not. I think it shows a true lack of maturity to not be able to say that if SIL is not comfortable with the rate then she'll have to look elsewhere. The snide comment about good luck finding someone else was also unnecessary. Perhaps if SIL doesn't hire sitters much then your SD could have said "I think you'll find the going rate around here is about twice what you've suggested."

Sticking up for oneself is simply not being coerced into accepting something she's already declined. It has nothing to do with being snotty and rude. SIL was wrong to make a case out of it, but that's a separate issue.

Not the OP - but are you a boomer who thinks that everyone younger than you exists to serve whatever employer that is willing to bestow the greatest grace of a job upon them? Come on. Get over yourself.