SIL is upset I did not punish my step daughter for being disrespectful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t engage further. It was rude of her to suggest that price.

There are many people working much harder for less than $10 per hour. While your daughter is not obligated to accept that wage, she is also not entitled to be rude. It was not "rude" of your SIL to offer $10 per hour. Teenagers are pretty pampered and the wages have been driven up because parents buy everything for kids, so they don't feel the need to work.

In this area, that would be illegal as of July:

https://does.dc.gov/release/dc-minimum-wage-increase-1520-july-1-2021%C2%A0

So, yes, it is absolutely rude to offer someone a wage that would be not only below market rate, but also illegal, to offer a stranger. And not even *close* to the legal minimum— 33% below.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t engage further. It was rude of her to suggest that price.

There are many people working much harder for less than $10 per hour. While your daughter is not obligated to accept that wage, she is also not entitled to be rude. It was not "rude" of your SIL to offer $10 per hour. Teenagers are pretty pampered and the wages have been driven up because parents buy everything for kids, so they don't feel the need to work.

In this area, that would be illegal as of July:

https://does.dc.gov/release/dc-minimum-wage-increase-1520-july-1-2021%C2%A0

So, yes, it is absolutely rude to offer someone a wage that would be not only below market rate, but also illegal, to offer a stranger. And not even *close* to the legal minimum— 33% below.

You're really a moron if you think people paying a teen to wash their car, watch their cat, or babysit for a couple of hours are going to worry about minimum wage laws. As if the kids are reporting the wages in taxes? JFC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t engage further. It was rude of her to suggest that price.

There are many people working much harder for less than $10 per hour. While your daughter is not obligated to accept that wage, she is also not entitled to be rude. It was not "rude" of your SIL to offer $10 per hour. Teenagers are pretty pampered and the wages have been driven up because parents buy everything for kids, so they don't feel the need to work.

In this area, that would be illegal as of July:

https://does.dc.gov/release/dc-minimum-wage-increase-1520-july-1-2021%C2%A0

So, yes, it is absolutely rude to offer someone a wage that would be not only below market rate, but also illegal, to offer a stranger. And not even *close* to the legal minimum— 33% below.

You're really a moron if you think people paying a teen to wash their car, watch their cat, or babysit for a couple of hours are going to worry about minimum wage laws. As if the kids are reporting the wages in taxes? JFC.

DP. Her age has nothing to do with the value of the service she provides. She clearly has experience babysitting and this is her job. Also, she quoted the SIL a very reasonable market rate for her services and it was the SIL who countered with a 60% below market rate. If I am currently paid 100k and apply for a job that usually pays 100k and they counter with 40k I would not be very polite. She does not owe politeness to someone who tried to take advantage of her. Stop teaching this to girls, stop teaching this to teens.

The SIL should have asked OP what she pays her daughter and what she usually charges. And when she got quoted $25 she should have said that’s a bit higher than I was thinking, let me think it over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t engage further. It was rude of her to suggest that price.

There are many people working much harder for less than $10 per hour. While your daughter is not obligated to accept that wage, she is also not entitled to be rude. It was not "rude" of your SIL to offer $10 per hour. Teenagers are pretty pampered and the wages have been driven up because parents buy everything for kids, so they don't feel the need to work.

In this area, that would be illegal as of July:

https://does.dc.gov/release/dc-minimum-wage-increase-1520-july-1-2021%C2%A0

So, yes, it is absolutely rude to offer someone a wage that would be not only below market rate, but also illegal, to offer a stranger. And not even *close* to the legal minimum— 33% below.

You're really a moron if you think people paying a teen to wash their car, watch their cat, or babysit for a couple of hours are going to worry about minimum wage laws. As if the kids are reporting the wages in taxes? JFC.

The kid who shovels my sidewalk when it snows isn’t reporting his income either, and he gets $20 for less than an hour of work, which is much easier than watching four kids. Offering him $10 would also be rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t engage further. It was rude of her to suggest that price.

There are many people working much harder for less than $10 per hour. While your daughter is not obligated to accept that wage, she is also not entitled to be rude. It was not "rude" of your SIL to offer $10 per hour. Teenagers are pretty pampered and the wages have been driven up because parents buy everything for kids, so they don't feel the need to work.

In this area, that would be illegal as of July:

https://does.dc.gov/release/dc-minimum-wage-increase-1520-july-1-2021%C2%A0

So, yes, it is absolutely rude to offer someone a wage that would be not only below market rate, but also illegal, to offer a stranger. And not even *close* to the legal minimum— 33% below.

You're really a moron if you think people paying a teen to wash their car, watch their cat, or babysit for a couple of hours are going to worry about minimum wage laws. As if the kids are reporting the wages in taxes? JFC.

DP. Her age has nothing to do with the value of the service she provides. She clearly has experience babysitting and this is her job. Also, she quoted the SIL a very reasonable market rate for her services and it was the SIL who countered with a 60% below market rate. If I am currently paid 100k and apply for a job that usually pays 100k and they counter with 40k I would not be very polite. She does not owe politeness to someone who tried to take advantage of her. Stop teaching this to girls, stop teaching this to teens.

The SIL should have asked OP what she pays her daughter and what she usually charges. And when she got quoted $25 she should have said that’s a bit higher than I was thinking, let me think it over.

Yes, her age absolutely influences the value of the services that provides. There is no teenager who has the skills and experience to actually be worth $25 an hour. But because this is an affluent area, where teenagers have little need to work, parents have bid up the rates in order to lure teenagers into working. We can guarantee that low income teens are babysitting for way less than $25/hr in their neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should be proud of your step daughter. There are instances where you try to decline more gracefully and other instances where you call people out. People like your SIL are used to low balling because they rarely get called out.

You have ZERO evidence as to why SIL offered $10/hour. None. Nada. Zilch. And yet, you persist. People like you amaze me. Where do you manufacture your outrage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 16 year old daughter who babysits to earn extra spending money. I have 2 kids ages 5&7 and I give her first choice if she wants to babysit or not before I ask anyone else when I need after school care. I pay her $17/hour and she watches them anywhere from 2-15 hours a week. She sometimes does other babysitting jobs on the weekends and her weekend rates start at $20+/hour. This is the average rate for our area.

The issue started when SIL wanted a date night on a Friday night. They have FOUR kids ages 3,5,8 &10. My daughter said she would charge $25/hour with a 4 hour minimum. My SIL was shocked and said she was thinking more along the $10 hour range. My daughter laughed in her face and said she was not running a charity and wished her luck finding a babysitter for her cheap price. My daughter then proceeded to walk away laughing.

My SIL was furious and asked me how I could just stand there and let her be so disrespectful. I told her that my daughter viewed $10 an hour as an insult and she was trying to take advantage of her. I'm not going to punish her for standing up for herself. She then complained to my husband and he blew her off and told her to get over it and he did not care. She then goes crying to my brother. He said at minimum my daughter should apologize. I told him I don't think so.

This has caused a huge family drama with them. Am I in the wrong? Is my daughter in the wrong? If anyone should apologize it should be SIL for trying to take advantage of my daughter.

So...your SIL said something that could have been construed as shock/disbelief that she was so out of touch and you and your step daughter decided that being rude was the answer? MMMkay.

[Anonymous]

Your kid was very rude. Period.

If your sister wanted to pay adult rate then she would probably ask an adult. Your sister is still a kid. She could decline politely.

One day that girl is going to laugh in YOUR face and walk away. Just remember that you taught her it was okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid was very rude. Period.

If your sister wanted to pay adult rate then she would probably ask an adult. Your sister is still a kid. She could decline politely.

One day that girl is going to laugh in YOUR face and walk away. Just remember that you taught her it was okay.

Sorry I meant step daughter is still a kid.

[Anonymous]

OP isn't paying $25 an hour and the real issue is stepdaughter is babysitter to OP and she doesn't want to take care of her kids so she doesn't want to encourage SD to babysit for anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t engage further. It was rude of her to suggest that price.

There are many people working much harder for less than $10 per hour. While your daughter is not obligated to accept that wage, she is also not entitled to be rude. It was not "rude" of your SIL to offer $10 per hour. Teenagers are pretty pampered and the wages have been driven up because parents buy everything for kids, so they don't feel the need to work.

In this area, that would be illegal as of July:

https://does.dc.gov/release/dc-minimum-wage-increase-1520-july-1-2021%C2%A0

So, yes, it is absolutely rude to offer someone a wage that would be not only below market rate, but also illegal, to offer a stranger. And not even *close* to the legal minimum— 33% below.

You're really a moron if you think people paying a teen to wash their car, watch their cat, or babysit for a couple of hours are going to worry about minimum wage laws. As if the kids are reporting the wages in taxes? JFC.

DP. Her age has nothing to do with the value of the service she provides. She clearly has experience babysitting and this is her job. Also, she quoted the SIL a very reasonable market rate for her services and it was the SIL who countered with a 60% below market rate. If I am currently paid 100k and apply for a job that usually pays 100k and they counter with 40k I would not be very polite. She does not owe politeness to someone who tried to take advantage of her. Stop teaching this to girls, stop teaching this to teens.

The SIL should have asked OP what she pays her daughter and what she usually charges. And when she got quoted $25 she should have said that’s a bit higher than I was thinking, let me think it over.

Oh please. You can absolutely stand up for yourself without being rude. Being a jerk about it doesn’t teach the other party that they were wrong. It doesn’t get you what you want. And it doesn’t make you look good.

[Anonymous]

Your SD was very rude to laugh and very self entitled to expect adult wages when she doesn't bring adult experience or decision making skills to the table. Your SIL was out of touch with how much teens are currently making (but spoiler alert it's far closer to $10 than $25!!)

Teach your SD manners.

[Anonymous]

What does a 16 year old presumably living with parents and who has no bills need to make that much money for? I don't feel someone who is am actual adult living on their own with bills should be making the same babysitting as a 16 year old. Sorry not sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your SD was very rude to laugh and very self entitled to expect adult wages when she doesn't bring adult experience or decision making skills to the table. Your SIL was out of touch with how much teens are currently making (but spoiler alert it's far closer to $10 than $25!!)

Teach your SD manners.

In DC the pay would be $18-$20 for a teen and 4 kids.

Ignore the flyover country trolls.

[Anonymous]

Your SD was very rude.