Anti vax DH won't compromise principles and may quit Fed job, how should I prepare?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take out extra life insurance on him, in addition to consulting a lawyer. Maybe ask him about his plans? Has he started applying for non fed jobs already?

It's probable kids will eventually bring Covid home from school and he will be much more susceptible than if he was vaccinated.

You can’t take life insurance out on another person.

That's too bad, because his kids may need it if he dies.

Him taking out extra life insurance and short and long term disability insurance on himself would be one of my stipulations for staying. Mainly in order to protect the kids future from being absorbed by his medical bills if he is unlucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This pandemic has shattered the illusion of control for many - especially those with underlying mental health issues or, more often, insecurity. The kind of weakness that attracts to a "strong" dictator-lite figure like Trump is challenged by this sense of helplessness and the illusion of freedom being taken away.

The real solution here is to work out why a happily married GS-15 supposedly reasonably high-functioning adult is feeling the need to regain control by acting out like this. You can't be married to a toddler having tantrums - but some work to find the cause of the underlying insecurity may be worth the investment.

Agree you should massively increase his life insurance though. The standard 5x GS-15 salary policy isn't nearly enough if he "dies to prove his point" like these other anti-vaccers are doing... get an additional $2M policy on him ASAP before they start asking for vaccination status.

I can’t believe her husband is a GS freaking 15 and believes anti-vaxx conspiracy theory BS. I mean seriously, GS-15s are the top figures at federal agencies. It takes a lifetime of higher education, experience and hard work to get those jobs. Incredible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This pandemic has shattered the illusion of control for many - especially those with underlying mental health issues or, more often, insecurity. The kind of weakness that attracts to a "strong" dictator-lite figure like Trump is challenged by this sense of helplessness and the illusion of freedom being taken away.

The real solution here is to work out why a happily married GS-15 supposedly reasonably high-functioning adult is feeling the need to regain control by acting out like this. You can't be married to a toddler having tantrums - but some work to find the cause of the underlying insecurity may be worth the investment.

Agree you should massively increase his life insurance though. The standard 5x GS-15 salary policy isn't nearly enough if he "dies to prove his point" like these other anti-vaccers are doing... get an additional $2M policy on him ASAP before they start asking for vaccination status.

I can’t believe her husband is a GS freaking 15 and believes anti-vaxx conspiracy theory BS. I mean seriously, GS-15s are the top figures at federal agencies. It takes a lifetime of higher education, experience and hard work to get those jobs. Incredible.

And don’t forget he’s willing to throw it away over a conspiracy theory.

[Anonymous]

OP, all I can say is that I completely sympathize with you. I’m in the exact same boat with my DH, but he is Fed contractor who owns a fed consulting company with employees. I also told him if he gets covid I’m not taking him to the hospital. I think it is so selfish and ignorant not to get the vaccine, and especially with the fed mandate and employees who count on the company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This pandemic has shattered the illusion of control for many - especially those with underlying mental health issues or, more often, insecurity. The kind of weakness that attracts to a "strong" dictator-lite figure like Trump is challenged by this sense of helplessness and the illusion of freedom being taken away.

The real solution here is to work out why a happily married GS-15 supposedly reasonably high-functioning adult is feeling the need to regain control by acting out like this. You can't be married to a toddler having tantrums - but some work to find the cause of the underlying insecurity may be worth the investment.

Agree you should massively increase his life insurance though. The standard 5x GS-15 salary policy isn't nearly enough if he "dies to prove his point" like these other anti-vaccers are doing... get an additional $2M policy on him ASAP before they start asking for vaccination status.

I can’t believe her husband is a GS freaking 15 and believes anti-vaxx conspiracy theory BS. I mean seriously, GS-15s are the top figures at federal agencies. It takes a lifetime of higher education, experience and hard work to get those jobs. Incredible.

And don’t forget he’s willing to throw it away over a conspiracy theory.

The smartest GS-14 I know, has a PhD, and he is refusing to be vaccinated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is probably fully vaccinated beyond the covid vaccine and its his choice. If you want to divorce, go for it. You sound really difficult. Just file for divorce, agree to 50/50 custody, move out and find housing for yourself and be done with it. If you threaten divorce, be prepared to follow through. If my spouse filed, there would be no turning back.

Your spouse should file.

My spouse had to take care of everything for three months after I got sick with the second vaccine shot after he pushed me into taking it. He doesn't want to do everything again and values our marriage. If he wants a divorce, he can have one.

I’m pregnant and not yet vaccinated and I want to get it soon…what happened to you? Did it end okay? Was the first shot okay?

Pregnant PP, PLEASE do not listen to anything this poster responds about how the vaccine "made me sick" etc. Drama. Either the PP had some other condition going on or had some allergy to something in the vaccine--which is VERY rare indeed.

Please instead read the story in today's Post about this couple who both died of Covid. The wife gave birth to her fifth child and died of Covid three weeks later, leaving behind all those children with no parents. The wife was a nurse yet didn't get vaccinated because she, sadly, seemed leery of the vaccine due to myths about the vaccine and pregnancy. Please read this story.

Yes, it's scary. It should be.

If you cannot open the link, just Google the name Davy Macias.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2021/09/13/davy-daniel-macias-covid-19/

"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take out extra life insurance on him, in addition to consulting a lawyer. Maybe ask him about his plans? Has he started applying for non fed jobs already?

It's probable kids will eventually bring Covid home from school and he will be much more susceptible than if he was vaccinated.

You can’t take life insurance out on another person.

That's too bad, because his kids may need it if he dies.

Him taking out extra life insurance and short and long term disability insurance on himself would be one of my stipulations for staying. Mainly in order to protect the kids future from being absorbed by his medical bills if he is unlucky.

Looking at CDC stats, a 50 year old GS-15 has a chance of dying from it, if infected, of around 4 in a thousand (.004). Probably less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is probably fully vaccinated beyond the covid vaccine and its his choice. If you want to divorce, go for it. You sound really difficult. Just file for divorce, agree to 50/50 custody, move out and find housing for yourself and be done with it. If you threaten divorce, be prepared to follow through. If my spouse filed, there would be no turning back.

Your spouse should file.

My spouse had to take care of everything for three months after I got sick with the second vaccine shot after he pushed me into taking it. He doesn't want to do everything again and values our marriage. If he wants a divorce, he can have one.

I’m pregnant and not yet vaccinated and I want to get it soon…what happened to you? Did it end okay? Was the first shot okay?

Pregnant PP, PLEASE do not listen to anything this poster responds about how the vaccine "made me sick" etc. Drama. Either the PP had some other condition going on or had some allergy to something in the vaccine--which is VERY rare indeed.

Please instead read the story in today's Post about this couple who both died of Covid. The wife gave birth to her fifth child and died of Covid three weeks later, leaving behind all those children with no parents. The wife was a nurse yet didn't get vaccinated because she, sadly, seemed leery of the vaccine due to myths about the vaccine and pregnancy. Please read this story.

Yes, it's scary. It should be.

If you cannot open the link, just Google the name Davy Macias.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2021/09/13/davy-daniel-macias-covid-19/

"

No one is saying don't take it but be prepared for side effects, especially if you are on other medications/health issues. OP should have done it before she got pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is probably fully vaccinated beyond the covid vaccine and its his choice. If you want to divorce, go for it. You sound really difficult. Just file for divorce, agree to 50/50 custody, move out and find housing for yourself and be done with it. If you threaten divorce, be prepared to follow through. If my spouse filed, there would be no turning back.

Your spouse should file.

My spouse had to take care of everything for three months after I got sick with the second vaccine shot after he pushed me into taking it. He doesn't want to do everything again and values our marriage. If he wants a divorce, he can have one.

I’m pregnant and not yet vaccinated and I want to get it soon…what happened to you? Did it end okay? Was the first shot okay?

Pregnant PP, PLEASE do not listen to anything this poster responds about how the vaccine "made me sick" etc. Drama. Either the PP had some other condition going on or had some allergy to something in the vaccine--which is VERY rare indeed.

Please instead read the story in today's Post about this couple who both died of Covid. The wife gave birth to her fifth child and died of Covid three weeks later, leaving behind all those children with no parents. The wife was a nurse yet didn't get vaccinated because she, sadly, seemed leery of the vaccine due to myths about the vaccine and pregnancy. Please read this story.

Yes, it's scary. It should be.

If you cannot open the link, just Google the name Davy Macias.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2021/09/13/davy-daniel-macias-covid-19/

"

No one is saying don't take it but be prepared for side effects, especially if you are on other medications/health issues. OP should have done it before she got pregnant.

Off topic, but how are you scared of the vaccine but not scared of catching COVID at an indoor water park?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take out extra life insurance on him, in addition to consulting a lawyer. Maybe ask him about his plans? Has he started applying for non fed jobs already?

It's probable kids will eventually bring Covid home from school and he will be much more susceptible than if he was vaccinated.

You can’t take life insurance out on another person.

That's too bad, because his kids may need it if he dies.

Him taking out extra life insurance and short and long term disability insurance on himself would be one of my stipulations for staying. Mainly in order to protect the kids future from being absorbed by his medical bills if he is unlucky.

Looking at CDC stats, a 50 year old GS-15 has a chance of dying from it, if infected, of around 4 in a thousand (.004). Probably less.

But speaking as fed HR he has almost 100% chance of being fired if he won’t get shot. Yes it at take a while and yes all feds have until 11/22 to comply. But administration is serious about this and now a condition of employment. In my agency someone higher than 15 is refusing. Would t be suprised if we started at top with firings

[Anonymous]

Talk to a lawyer. If you are already contemplating divorce you may want to file now before he impoverishes himself by quitting his job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk to a lawyer. If you are already contemplating divorce you may want to file now before he impoverishes himself by quitting his job.

I agree with talking to a lawyer, but in general judges aren’t very sympathetic to spouses who refuse to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This pandemic has shattered the illusion of control for many - especially those with underlying mental health issues or, more often, insecurity. The kind of weakness that attracts to a "strong" dictator-lite figure like Trump is challenged by this sense of helplessness and the illusion of freedom being taken away.

The real solution here is to work out why a happily married GS-15 supposedly reasonably high-functioning adult is feeling the need to regain control by acting out like this. You can't be married to a toddler having tantrums - but some work to find the cause of the underlying insecurity may be worth the investment.

Agree you should massively increase his life insurance though. The standard 5x GS-15 salary policy isn't nearly enough if he "dies to prove his point" like these other anti-vaccers are doing... get an additional $2M policy on him ASAP before they start asking for vaccination status.

I can’t believe her husband is a GS freaking 15 and believes anti-vaxx conspiracy theory BS. I mean seriously, GS-15s are the top figures at federal agencies. It takes a lifetime of higher education, experience and hard work to get those jobs. Incredible.

I know an SES like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This feels like a troll post. But, I'll say that it's up to a man to put aside his ego and do what he needs to do to take care of his family. Running from the vaccine out of a sense of pride and at the expense of one's family is selfish, immature, and unmanly.

I am in the same boat as OP and this is what kills me. I am so sad that his pride is more important to him than us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take out extra life insurance on him, in addition to consulting a lawyer. Maybe ask him about his plans? Has he started applying for non fed jobs already?

It's probable kids will eventually bring Covid home from school and he will be much more susceptible than if he was vaccinated.

You can’t take life insurance out on another person.

That's too bad, because his kids may need it if he dies.

Him taking out extra life insurance and short and long term disability insurance on himself would be one of my stipulations for staying. Mainly in order to protect the kids future from being absorbed by his medical bills if he is unlucky.

They will get his social security, retirement, etc. OP wants to divorce, so get divorced areaway. This has nothing to do with covid.