Anti vax DH won't compromise principles and may quit Fed job, how should I prepare?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is probably fully vaccinated beyond the covid vaccine and its his choice. If you want to divorce, go for it. You sound really difficult. Just file for divorce, agree to 50/50 custody, move out and find housing for yourself and be done with it. If you threaten divorce, be prepared to follow through. If my spouse filed, there would be no turning back.

Your spouse should file.

My spouse had to take care of everything for three months after I got sick with the second vaccine shot after he pushed me into taking it. He doesn't want to do everything again and values our marriage. If he wants a divorce, he can have one.

\LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE\

[Anonymous]

OP - apologies if I missed it. Are your middle schoolers vaccinated or has your husband refused to let them be vaccinated? Because that would be grounds for divorce and for sole custody, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - apologies if I missed it. Are your middle schoolers vaccinated or has your husband refused to let them be vaccinated? Because that would be grounds for divorce and for sole custody, IMO.

This is OP -- that's right, husband has refused to allow them to be vaccinated. Do you really think this would be sufficient grounds for sole custody?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op your husband sounds like mine. I can only tell you my house has been a tense one, over this plus other issues that lately revolve around politics and vastly different views. It's frickin miserable. That said, I personally decided that I can't divorce over this or any of our other disagreements, at least not now. I have decided to stand down. The data on kids is somewhat reassuring and I believe they will most likely be ok without vaccines. The fed mandate will take at least a little time to implement and I'm sure will have lawsuits and such. My dh may fall unde a dod loophole because they seem to be treated differently. I'll wait and see what he decides to do and try to let him make the decision. In the meantime I'm seeking out a new therapist and working on the things I can control. If he did decide to quit with no other options, I think we would move to a lower col area and I would continue working remotely or possibly seek out a new job. Honestly that doesn't sound like a bad option to me either. I'm sure others here would call me crazy for trying to be accommodating but this is what I'm trying. My kids are younger so I might feel different if they were older. But in the meantime my priority is to keep my kids close and to try to be a supportive, understanding and forgiving spouse. God help us all.

NP. I don’t think you’re crazy at all for being accommodating with little kids. Thankfully my husband and I are on the same page on this stuff, but when he was drinking heavily there was no way I’d leave him and I worked hard to keep him from leaving because I wanted to keep my little kids close to me and not have to leave them alone with him. You do what you have to do to keep your kids safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is probably fully vaccinated beyond the covid vaccine and its his choice. If you want to divorce, go for it. You sound really difficult. Just file for divorce, agree to 50/50 custody, move out and find housing for yourself and be done with it. If you threaten divorce, be prepared to follow through. If my spouse filed, there would be no turning back.

Yeah, no. Throwing one’s entire career in the toilet is not “his choice” when he has a family to support. A family he CHOSE to have. And a separation from an unemployed and potentially unemployable plague rat is not the punishment you think it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take out extra life insurance on him, in addition to consulting a lawyer. Maybe ask him about his plans? Has he started applying for non fed jobs already?

It's probable kids will eventually bring Covid home from school and he will be much more susceptible than if he was vaccinated.

You can’t take life insurance out on another person.

Um… yes you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take out extra life insurance on him, in addition to consulting a lawyer. Maybe ask him about his plans? Has he started applying for non fed jobs already?

It's probable kids will eventually bring Covid home from school and he will be much more susceptible than if he was vaccinated.

I'm not a Fed, but I am a contractor. We will also be required to be vaccinated.

I would start preparing to leave now OP. Consult a lawyer, figure out what housing you can afford, and start making plans. If this is a hill he is going to die on, he will be unemployed soon. He will also contract Covid soon.

I wonder if it would be eye opening for him to do some family/financial planning with him about the cost of quitting - what benefits will you/he lose - health insurance, disability, sick leave, pension and contribution, vacation days, etc. How much will it cost to pay for these when he quits? What would the impact be if he gets sick - like what is the best health insurance pal. and what deductibles and coinsurance and OOP has to be paid? If he gets fired for not taking the vaccine will that adversely affect his ability to get employed elsewhere? Where can he work that isn’t (eventualy) going to require a vaccine?

DP. This is a good idea. With my DH I’d have to approach something like this without apparent prejudgment. Resignation might be okay - if this is going to happen, let’s plan for it, vs you crazy fool look what your pride will cost us. My DH can be insanely stubborn and will fight me on anything I try to push on him, but if he has time to think about things for a while on his own he often comes around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - apologies if I missed it. Are your middle schoolers vaccinated or has your husband refused to let them be vaccinated? Because that would be grounds for divorce and for sole custody, IMO.

This is OP -- that's right, husband has refused to allow them to be vaccinated. Do you really think this would be sufficient grounds for sole custody?

Does he need to give permission for you to take them to be vaccinated? What would he do if you did?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - apologies if I missed it. Are your middle schoolers vaccinated or has your husband refused to let them be vaccinated? Because that would be grounds for divorce and for sole custody, IMO.

This is OP -- that's right, husband has refused to allow them to be vaccinated. Do you really think this would be sufficient grounds for sole custody?

your husband does not have veto power over vaccination. you only need one parent there. my dh never showed up to any of our child’s vaccination appts. covid will be no different. we’ll just go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is probably fully vaccinated beyond the covid vaccine and its his choice. If you want to divorce, go for it. You sound really difficult. Just file for divorce, agree to 50/50 custody, move out and find housing for yourself and be done with it. If you threaten divorce, be prepared to follow through. If my spouse filed, there would be no turning back.

Your spouse should file.

My spouse had to take care of everything for three months after I got sick with the second vaccine shot after he pushed me into taking it. He doesn't want to do everything again and values our marriage. If he wants a divorce, he can have one.

I’m pregnant and not yet vaccinated and I want to get it soon…what happened to you? Did it end okay? Was the first shot okay?

Pregnant PP, PLEASE do not listen to anything this poster responds about how the vaccine "made me sick" etc. Drama. Either the PP had some other condition going on or had some allergy to something in the vaccine--which is VERY rare indeed.

Please instead read the story in today's Post about this couple who both died of Covid. The wife gave birth to her fifth child and died of Covid three weeks later, leaving behind all those children with no parents. The wife was a nurse yet didn't get vaccinated because she, sadly, seemed leery of the vaccine due to myths about the vaccine and pregnancy. Please read this story.

Yes, it's scary. It should be.

If you cannot open the link, just Google the name Davy Macias.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2021/09/13/davy-daniel-macias-covid-19/

"

A pregnant friend of a friend waited to get her vaccine until after the baby was born. Unfortunately, she got COVID towards the end of her pregnancy and died less than two weeks after delivery.

I’ll take things that never happened for $200, Alex.

May not be the same story but similar happened. And it’s sad.

Forgot to add the link.

https://www.cnn.com/2021/09/13/us/california-family-covid-death-orphan-five-children/index.html

PP here with the friend of a friend who died of COVID after birth. I wish it had never happened but it did. Here is an article about her story https://qctimes.com/news/local/grief-laughter-and-the-cries-of-a-newborn-covid-19-takes-life-of-alexa-sheeder/article_35942f52-5454-5f4e-90c6-8d670b6e530b.html.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is probably fully vaccinated beyond the covid vaccine and its his choice. If you want to divorce, go for it. You sound really difficult. Just file for divorce, agree to 50/50 custody, move out and find housing for yourself and be done with it. If you threaten divorce, be prepared to follow through. If my spouse filed, there would be no turning back.

Your spouse should file.

My spouse had to take care of everything for three months after I got sick with the second vaccine shot after he pushed me into taking it. He doesn't want to do everything again and values our marriage. If he wants a divorce, he can have one.

I’m pregnant and not yet vaccinated and I want to get it soon…what happened to you? Did it end okay? Was the first shot okay?

Pregnant PP, PLEASE do not listen to anything this poster responds about how the vaccine "made me sick" etc. Drama. Either the PP had some other condition going on or had some allergy to something in the vaccine--which is VERY rare indeed.

Please instead read the story in today's Post about this couple who both died of Covid. The wife gave birth to her fifth child and died of Covid three weeks later, leaving behind all those children with no parents. The wife was a nurse yet didn't get vaccinated because she, sadly, seemed leery of the vaccine due to myths about the vaccine and pregnancy. Please read this story.

Yes, it's scary. It should be.

If you cannot open the link, just Google the name Davy Macias.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2021/09/13/davy-daniel-macias-covid-19/

"

A pregnant friend of a friend waited to get her vaccine until after the baby was born. Unfortunately, she got COVID towards the end of her pregnancy and died less than two weeks after delivery.

I’ll take things that never happened for $200, Alex.

May not be the same story but similar happened. And it’s sad.

Forgot to add the link.

https://www.cnn.com/2021/09/13/us/california-family-covid-death-orphan-five-children/index.html

PP here with the friend of a friend who died of COVID after birth. I wish it had never happened but it did. Here is an article about her story https://qctimes.com/news/local/grief-laughter-and-the-cries-of-a-newborn-covid-19-takes-life-of-alexa-sheeder/article_35942f52-5454-5f4e-90c6-8d670b6e530b.html.

Fixing the link https://qctimes.com/news/local/grief-laughter-and-the-cries-of-a-newborn-covid-19-takes-life-of-alexa-sheeder/article_35942f52-5454-5f4e-90c6-8d670b6e530b.html

[Anonymous]

What a sad story about the pregnant lady. I do not understand what makes people think posters are fake, just because it doesn’t fit their narrative? There are unfortunately, way too many similar news stories. Including a man in serious condition due to a vaccination reaction. OP is not the only one with a relative that would rather quit than get vaccinated. A hospital shut down its maternity ward due to lack of staff, who quit because of the mandate.

If you don’t believe a posters story, why not move on to something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a sad story about the pregnant lady. I do not understand what makes people think posters are fake, just because it doesn’t fit their narrative? There are unfortunately, way too many similar news stories. Including a man in serious condition due to a vaccination reaction. OP is not the only one with a relative that would rather quit than get vaccinated. A hospital shut down its maternity ward due to lack of staff, who quit because of the mandate.

If you don’t believe a posters story, why not move on to something else.

A maternity ward with a bunch of unvaccinated nurses is disturbing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a sad story about the pregnant lady. I do not understand what makes people think posters are fake, just because it doesn’t fit their narrative? There are unfortunately, way too many similar news stories. Including a man in serious condition due to a vaccination reaction. OP is not the only one with a relative that would rather quit than get vaccinated. A hospital shut down its maternity ward due to lack of staff, who quit because of the mandate.

If you don’t believe a posters story, why not move on to something else.

A maternity ward with a bunch of unvaccinated nurses is disturbing.

Bet a lot of mother's are glad the staff quit so they can go somewhere safer.

If OPs dh wants to throw away everything he's ever worked for in his life because of a right wing talking point, that is his decision to make. His wife and children get to make their own decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a sad story about the pregnant lady. I do not understand what makes people think posters are fake, just because it doesn’t fit their narrative? There are unfortunately, way too many similar news stories. Including a man in serious condition due to a vaccination reaction. OP is not the only one with a relative that would rather quit than get vaccinated. A hospital shut down its maternity ward due to lack of staff, who quit because of the mandate.

If you don’t believe a posters story, why not move on to something else.

A maternity ward with a bunch of unvaccinated nurses is disturbing.

What if they all previously had COVID and have antibodies?