Financial Infidelity - just caught DH hiding frivolous purchase

[Anonymous]

DH has been on his phone. A lot. This is unusual. I decided to discreetly look at his phone this morning to see whether he's having an affair or what. What I found is that he recently purchased a $400 trojan sword. You can't make this up. It appears he tried to pay for it with a prepaid visa card, that was not accepted on this international transaction, so instead he gave the card to a coworker, who made the purchase from their credit card instead.
^He has obviously gone to great lengths to hide this transaction from me. I'm not sure what he's planning on saying when it arrives at our home.
So many questions here - where did he get the prepaid visa, why is he lying/hiding, how do I handle this? We do not have the money to spend hundreds of dollars on trojan swords, and in fact have tax debt we're working hard to pay off. WTF.

[Anonymous]

Pre-paid VISA's could have been got from your bank, CVS, Safeway, Giant, and numerous other places. Check your bank statements to see if $400 was taken from somewhere.

[Anonymous]

Well, OP, in true DCUM fashion, I'm going to skirt your question, to say: It's time to go to the costume express website and get that sexy red costume from the Spartan wife from the graphic novel movie "300."

Also wondering why he wants a Trojan sword--Troy fell to the Greeks. Wondering if he's involved in a bit of fantasy world play.

Anyways, there are clubs of guys in this vein...in Los Angeles, there's a group who dresses up as Roman soldiers and "patrols" the hiking trails, LOL (sort of sexy)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pre-paid VISA's could have been got from your bank, CVS, Safeway, Giant, and numerous other places. Check your bank statements to see if $400 was taken from somewhere.

I've checked every single account. Nothing. The only thing I can think is that one of his employees won it at work (sales, and he gives them gift cards as rewards), and he neglected to give it to them and kept it for himself. Indicating even more integrity issues at play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pre-paid VISA's could have been got from your bank, CVS, Safeway, Giant, and numerous other places. Check your bank statements to see if $400 was taken from somewhere.

I've checked every single account. Nothing. The only thing I can think is that one of his employees won it at work (sales, and he gives them gift cards as rewards), and he neglected to give it to them and kept it for himself. Indicating even more integrity issues at play.

Or he's embezzling money from his company by ordering extra reward gift cards and keeping them for himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pre-paid VISA's could have been got from your bank, CVS, Safeway, Giant, and numerous other places. Check your bank statements to see if $400 was taken from somewhere.

I've checked every single account. Nothing. The only thing I can think is that one of his employees won it at work (sales, and he gives them gift cards as rewards), and he neglected to give it to them and kept it for himself. Indicating even more integrity issues at play.

Or he's embezzling money from his company by ordering extra reward gift cards and keeping them for himself. [/quote

OP here. Yep, that's what I'm wondering too.

[Anonymous]

Just ask him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just ask him.

Then I have to admit I snooped. And he'll lock everything down. I was thinking of waiting until the sword arrives so I can see what kind of financial explanation he gives. If he lies to my face, then I'll probably have to admit it though..

[Anonymous]

Wow, you really think your husband might be embezzling money or stealing from his workplace? That's pretty bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, you really think your husband might be embezzling money or stealing from his workplace? That's pretty bad.

I agree, it is super bad. But how else would he have received a 400 gift card? He's a manager, he doesn't win gift cards, his employees do.

[Anonymous]

Or maybe he just saved his lunch money so as to escape the tyranny of your unbearably controlling behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or maybe he just saved his lunch money so as to escape the tyranny of your unbearably controlling behavior.

It's controlling to be surprised your husband stole money from work and bought a f'ng trojan sword? Um, okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or maybe he just saved his lunch money so as to escape the tyranny of your unbearably controlling behavior.

It's controlling to be surprised your husband stole money from work and bought a f'ng trojan sword? Um, okay.

Who said her husband stole money? That was just hypothetical spewing.

[Anonymous]

What's a Trojan sword? This seems like a troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or maybe he just saved his lunch money so as to escape the tyranny of your unbearably controlling behavior.

It's controlling to be surprised your husband stole money from work and bought a f'ng trojan sword? Um, okay.

Who said her husband stole money? That was just hypothetical spewing.

Well, considering the OP said there was nothing on any bank statement, it is possible.

Of course, he could have filled out a form at work, got it to accounts payable, had them pay the vendor for gift cards, and kept one for himself. That would be another way of stealing.