Click here for Bad Advice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friends plan to visit DC. Where to take them? They are Democrats if that helps.

Black Lives Matter Plaza, African American Museum, Ben’s Chilli Bowl
This will help them relate to their “black friend.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friends plan to visit DC. Where to take them? They are Democrats if that helps.

Black Lives Matter Plaza, African American Museum, Ben’s Chilli Bowl
This will help them relate to their “black friend.”

Be sure to go to the Arlington location because DC isn't safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are Capri pants flattering on me?

Only this one:

Those scales are on backward. I know several mermaids, so I am an expert.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My girlfriend has a cute face but ugly feet. Do I dare to marry her?

First time how fast she can climb a tree. If she can do it in under a minute, marry her. Make her sign a prenup if her tree climbing time falls you get everything.

[Anonymous]

Whenever I see a woman in crop tops and short shorts, I try to help her out, because obviously she is mentally disabled and buys children’s clothes on accident. The last time I did this - “the eggs go on TOP of the other groceries! Good job, Larla!” - I got accused of mansplaining.

I tried explaining to her that she doesn’t understand her limitations and needs my help, but she got security to kick me out of the store.

How can I better explain to women that I’m only trying to help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whenever I see a woman in crop tops and short shorts, I try to help her out, because obviously she is mentally disabled and buys children’s clothes on accident. The last time I did this - “the eggs go on TOP of the other groceries! Good job, Larla!” - I got accused of mansplaining.

I tried explaining to her that she doesn’t understand her limitations and needs my help, but she got security to kick me out of the store.

How can I better explain to women that I’m only trying to help?

Pet her head as you explain, like you would do to a dog to calm her down. Add a few “good girls” in there for verbal reassurance

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whenever I see a woman in crop tops and short shorts, I try to help her out, because obviously she is mentally disabled and buys children’s clothes on accident. The last time I did this - “the eggs go on TOP of the other groceries! Good job, Larla!” - I got accused of mansplaining.

I tried explaining to her that she doesn’t understand her limitations and needs my help, but she got security to kick me out of the store.

How can I better explain to women that I’m only trying to help?

Pet her head as you explain, like you would do to a dog to calm her down. Add a few “good girls” in there for verbal reassurance

I tried this and got kicked in the groin. At what point should I begin the electroshock therapy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whenever I see a woman in crop tops and short shorts, I try to help her out, because obviously she is mentally disabled and buys children’s clothes on accident. The last time I did this - “the eggs go on TOP of the other groceries! Good job, Larla!” - I got accused of mansplaining.

I tried explaining to her that she doesn’t understand her limitations and needs my help, but she got security to kick me out of the store.

How can I better explain to women that I’m only trying to help?

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whenever I see a woman in crop tops and short shorts, I try to help her out, because obviously she is mentally disabled and buys children’s clothes on accident. The last time I did this - “the eggs go on TOP of the other groceries! Good job, Larla!” - I got accused of mansplaining.

I tried explaining to her that she doesn’t understand her limitations and needs my help, but she got security to kick me out of the store.

How can I better explain to women that I’m only trying to help?

Pet her head as you explain, like you would do to a dog to calm her down. Add a few “good girls” in there for verbal reassurance

I tried this and got kicked in the groin. At what point should I begin the electroshock therapy?

You're doing this all wrong. FIRST, TASER her. Then she's much more willing to accept your help and coaching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whenever I see a woman in crop tops and short shorts, I try to help her out, because obviously she is mentally disabled and buys children’s clothes on accident. The last time I did this - “the eggs go on TOP of the other groceries! Good job, Larla!” - I got accused of mansplaining.

I tried explaining to her that she doesn’t understand her limitations and needs my help, but she got security to kick me out of the store.

How can I better explain to women that I’m only trying to help?

Pet her head as you explain, like you would do to a dog to calm her down. Add a few “good girls” in there for verbal reassurance

I tried this and got kicked in the groin. At what point should I begin the electroshock therapy?

You're doing this all wrong. FIRST, TASER her. Then she's much more willing to accept your help and coaching.

Tasered her and explained exactly how many potatoes she needs to buy for a dinner party of 2 vegans, 5 vegetarians, and 15 omnivores. She listened much better this time, but doesn't seem to actually be using my advice. Instead of buying potatoes, she's just laying on the ground, I think taking a nap. Should I explain to her that the proper place to nap is not the grocery store floor?

[Anonymous]

Need to hire a new cleaning person. Interviewed someone who said she uses Elbow Grease. Has anyone heard of this before? Appreciate honest reviews. House is 10,000 sq ft and I'm only interested in green and organic products. Trying to save the planet!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Need to hire a new cleaning person. Interviewed someone who said she uses Elbow Grease. Has anyone heard of this before? Appreciate honest reviews. House is 10,000 sq ft and I'm only interested in green and organic products. Trying to save the planet!

Uvula Grease is better and feeds poor kids(their parents sold their own uvulas for decent money). The factory is solar powered and no animals are harmed. It’s more expensive though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are Capri pants flattering on me?

Only this one:

Those scales are on backward. I know several mermaids, so I am an expert.

Perhaps they are more slimming when backward?

[Anonymous]

This is a real situation, but it makes me so mad that I need to just laugh about the whole thing or I'll lose my sanity, so please give me all the bad advice...

I've been in a long, difficult custody battle and my xH finally agreed to let me take DC out of state for a vacation. However, at the last minute, after I already bought plane tickets for 9am, he lets me know that he won't be handing over DC to me until the regularly scheduled custody exchange at 8am. When I told him we'd miss our flight if he did this, he sent me GIFs of crying babies.

My attorney says I can't administer electroshock therapy without a signed consent form. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are Capri pants flattering on me?

Only this one:

Those scales are on backward. I know several mermaids, so I am an expert.

Perhaps they are more slimming when backward?

I think it’s to show that you’re not a sheep(mersheep?), that you have your own mind.